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I shit the bed
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12 Comments

I am a middle aged man with a wife and two daughters I have been living a normal life up until this point. I went to bed last tuesday with my wife and we both woke up in a mess of shit, I had shit the bed alot I dont remember eating the amount of stuff I shit my wife threw up and had to run outta the room, I burned the sheets and we cleaned up and tried to put it behind us but the next night even after I made sure I shit before I went to bed I woke up in the middle of the night and started to make love to my wife and during it I had an uncontrolable feeling and shot shotgun ass under the sheets. My wife refused to sleep in bed with me after that and now she is not talking to me saying im a nasty bastard and im only doing it because I think its funny. Well I went to the doctor and he told me I had nothing wrong with me and that the only thing he could do is give me some crappy pills to help set up my crap time on a scedule. My wife is still sleeping in the living room and im still shitting the bed everynight the only difference the pills made was now the shit is solid. I am waiting for my results to get back from the lab but the doctor is still saying he cant figure it out. Does any body know about shit like this?
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Comments (12)
Now THAT'S Fucking Funny!
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That's the dumbest f*cking thing I've ever heard.
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You're a facking genius mate!
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thats hilarious im sorry but sh1ting in bed is a great story
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I think you have a a defecation fetish
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Tell your wife it's normal and we all said so
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have you watched trainspotting? ;) bwahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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The_Enigma
Omg, for once i actually found something humerous on this site! Wooo!

This was totally original too. Total brownie points to ya!
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Sisophous suggest you purchase two twin beds spaced apart, roughly a foot, and get rid of your single bed that you had been sharing with your wife. This way you will be able to sleep in the same bedroom as your wife but not contaminate her space. Purchase some plastic bed sheets for your bed, the type used at the motels that offer day rates. Then, you will have an easier time cleaning up and be able to resuse the sheets after running them in the washing machine.

Obviously you have a medical condition of some sort since you should not be having involuntary bowel movements while asleep. Let us hope you do not have a colon/rectal problem that is not fixable. This sounds like a serious issue.
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if i was your wife ... i would leave u in a heart beat!
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thats just fucked!
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ok i read the first 2 lines and started puking!
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