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I think I'm falling for her...
33% Normal
40 Comments

My wife for 16 years died of breast cancer just last year. She left me with no child but she has a daughter who's now 20 years old. She's beautiful, slender, and everything a man dream of a woman!

Lately, I find myself slowly being drawn to her until I finally realized that I am actually loving her...not just a love for a daughter but even more than that! I stumble upon this website and I got courage to open my feelings. This is the first time that I let my feelings known. I am scared of myself. I have had past relationships before but this is different. I let her stay on a dorm while she's studying because I don't know what am I going to do if we live in the same house. I visit her and checks her needs almost everyday but I feel bad whenever I don't get to see her. I hate myself for feeling like this! She has no interest in boys yet because she wanted to finish her studies. She's in Psychology and I think somehow she can understand my feelings. I haven't opened up with her because I fear that she might distance herself from me.

Now we're planning to live together in the same house and I am so excited but scared at the same time. Is it okay to fall in love with her at this point? Her mom is already dead, we didn't had kids... and by the way, I let my stepdaughter use my last name since she was in her elementary... I am 42 now and she's 20... please give me advise... I am as well as confused! Thanks so much for those who will post their opinions.
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (40)
SlimFast (11113)
2008-07-20 11:13:18
Sounds like you are falling in love with her but maybe she reminds you of your wife since they are genetically related. Do you miss your wife? Maybe spending time with her daughter makes you feel like you're spending time with your wife. The question is, do you love her daughter as a lover, or do you miss your wife and are just substituting her daughter to fill the empty space in your heart? I know it's hard, but you must determine this before going any further. Good luck!
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flikr (10636)
2008-07-20 11:48:26
you should do her
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enteng22 (15237)
2008-07-20 11:57:23
@ slimFast...

Thanks for taking time...and to answer your question: No, I don't miss my wife...well, there are times but I know the love I had for my wife when she's still with us...as for my feelings for her daughter, yes, I do love her as a lover. I did not spend too much quality time with my wife and in fact, she, my wife, always making the first move when we make love.

And to give you more info, she's been raised a Godly person and I think I am facing a wall... She wouldn't like the idea of having me as her lover. Good thing though, she doesn't have any intentions of having any boyfriend yet because she wants to finish her studies... Should I continue or should I stop this foolishness?

Thanks again... c",)
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enteng22 (15237)
2008-07-20 11:58:30
@ Flikr...

I wouldn't do something without her consent...but thanks anyways for taking time! Ciao!
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SlimFast (11113)
2008-07-20 12:56:36
You're not being foolish, but I wouldn't continue if she's not interested. You might push her away by doing so especially when she doesn't want a boyfriend right now. Just be with her and support her, and see what happens. Don't pressure her in any way. Maybe you can wait until she makes the first move? Keep in mind that she's not the only one. I'm sure you can find many woman who will be your lover. Either way, you can always care about her as your daughter or your lover. Good luck!
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enteng22 (15237)
2008-07-20 13:01:42
@ SlimFast...

Hey, thanks! Yeah, you're right, I might push her away if I let her know my feelings. Tell you what, I will do just what you advised... I will continue to support and love her until she would find it hard to live without me...hehehe... I don't want to sound rude but I will always be there... for her, to love her, to hold her, to protect!

Thanks, you made my day!

God bless your heart!

You now have a friend in me! ;)
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SlimFast (11113)
2008-07-20 13:11:29
You have a friend in me too. Remember that no matter how much you care about her, she may find somebody else to be her lover. Just don't be hurt if that happens. It doesn't mean that she doesn't care about you. It just means that she doesn't want to be your lover. Try to see things from her point of view. Thanks and good luck!
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SlimFast (11113)
2008-07-20 13:20:04
Well, I guess it's hard not to be hurt if that happens. You probably will be so prepare for it in advance. If you two hook up, then I wish you the best of luck.
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gizzie56 (8681)
2008-07-20 14:16:49
I seriously doubt that she will ever see you as anything other than a stepfather. I find your sexual feeling for her abnormal. I agree with SlimFast I don't think you should let these feelings be known to her.

What do you suppose her deceased mother would think of your feeling for her daughter?
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enteng22 (15237)
2008-07-20 15:05:20
thanks for all who responded... I decided not to open up my feelings for her anyways... I know many people may seem it unfit... but that's the way I feel for her and I just can't help myself... I vowed not to marry again... I might as well be contented in seeing her and supporting her and get rid of that foolish thought.. Again, my thanks to all of you who posted their advises. God bless your hearts!
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Orochimaru (9975)
2008-07-20 15:50:24
That sucks dude. Love doen't come softly though,.....
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cpg123 (15225)
2008-07-20 19:19:08
this is normal but probly isnot good
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nearly (10533)
2008-07-21 04:05:07
wats more to the point here isnt wether it is normal or not. More wether or not it is LEGAL! Your thoughts are your own and a private matter between you and your conscience. However, were you to act out your thoughts, then that would be illegal and you'd pay dearly for it if found out!


AND HELLO ORO you pleb!
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Curiosity (15295)
2008-07-23 06:52:13
Alright, I just think that, to be quite honest, there is too much age difference, and I don't think a 20 year old would particularly want to go out with someone that is more than double her age.. I admire your honesty and wish you all the best,
Take it Easy.
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inlovewithlove1991 (11993)
2008-10-07 19:11:56
that makes me really sad to hear. both hearing of your deceased wife... & the fact that you're falling in love w/ your step-DAUGHTER. she may not be YOUR daughter, but you helped raise her as one of your own. you have known her since she was not even in kindergarten. she thinks of you like a father & you should think of her as a daughter, NOT a lover. what do you think your wife is thinking in heaven? you think she wants her husband/ex-husband who she still most likely loves & watches over, to be falling in love w/ her daughter? do you think your step-daughter wouldn't find it completely horrible that the guy she has seemingly referred to as "dad" most of her life, is falling for her? not to sound harsh...but my advice to you is, stay away from having any kind of sexual/romantic relationship w/ your daughter. your feelings of being scared are for a reason..because deep down you know this is a bad idea. i, too, wish you the best of luck & i advise you to seek a psychiatrist...preferably not your step-daughter.
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Eluveitie (17005)
2008-10-17 16:42:07
So she's 20 and she doesn't like guys?

Obviously she's a leso ?
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TheJudge (15259)
2008-11-06 13:46:42
Be careful, because there is a good chance that she does not feel nearly the same about you. Try to figure out how she feels about you without revealing too much of your own feelings. Give yourself a certain amount of deniability. Her religious faith will not keep her from marrying you, but she has to love you first.
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warmandexcited (17415)
2008-11-10 00:46:20
Yes-go for it.It will be the most incredible sex you will ever experience.Have you masturbated yet with her? Try that first---you will both cum like crazy and than you can take the next steps.Keep us informed. Write to me and I will share stories with you.
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rene2cfu (18247)
2008-12-05 14:08:40
awwwww!
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renreb88 (18626)
2008-12-19 05:34:19
OMG finally someone who understands! im in a similar situation cuz i want my stepdad. but my mom aint dead she is just a cold bitch. i think he wants me to but he wouldnt do anything about it. i just wish i knew what to do to let him know i want him.
maybe ur girl wants you and misses you and is hopin for the same thing u want
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forbiddenlove69 (19230)
2009-01-07 12:30:42
To me, I feel it is perfectly normal. I have the same feelings. I had to divorce my wife because the emotional pull I was feeling towards my stepdaughter was unbearable. I am still deeply in love with her after 10 years of avoiding her! you should go for it but indirectly and subtle. don't come on heavy! that will scare her away. deep eye contact is the best approach. good luck and enjoy!
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Team_Cullen (18736)
2009-01-09 20:57:54
I think it's not normal. I think you should go out more with ladies in your age to shake your funny feeling for your daughter. I mean, C'MON. You should feel guilty. She's doing great in school, being a great daughter. I just hope you know what you're doing. But, if by some silly miracle that she feels the same thing 'bout you, well.. You're a luck bastard. ;)
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solikeyeah (19213)
2009-01-14 02:47:37
I think it would permanently damage your daughters life if you acted on your feelings. You should see a psychiatrist. I am sure there is an way to push such thoughts out of your mind. If you really love your daughter, you would never do anything sexual to her, no matter what the circumstance is. To ensure you don't do something like that, psychiatry is your best bet. It is confidential, so unless you act on it, they have to keep it to themselves or risk getting sued for breaking conduct.
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Baitgator (19927)
2009-02-02 03:10:51
Guys, honestly think before you comment, the daughter is twenty, unless he goes and rapes her or tries to seduce her I don't think there will be any real psycological damage, perhaps she won't think of him in the same way but to even suggest that it would be life damaging is, well, in my opinion INSANE.

On to the topic at hand, perhaps when she starts dating you can discuss this matter with her, not in a seductive way but in a professional tone and setting, this is not something to bring up over sunday dinner. And well if it turns out she makes a move before then good luck to you. Either way I wish you and your step-daughter the best of luck.
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lurvejazz (19190)
2009-02-05 21:55:42
I've heard of women/men being in love with somebody else with a 20 years of age gap, but never had i before even THOUGHT that a stepfather'll love his stepdaughter in such way. But it does seem possible. In my opinion, i feel that you should try your very best to curb your feelings for her, hold it back, do not ever let your heart tak control of your mind. Simply because if you really love her, this is what you should be doing. Unless that she have the same feeling towards you,that will be another story, but honestly, i highly doubt that possibility. :(
Just love her and protect her by the side, as long as she is happy,i know you will too.
You don't have to have her for your own, i guess you'd do anything in exchange for her happiness.
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georgito619 (20305)
2009-02-17 19:53:32
i dont think it cud ever happen between u 2 but maybe its cuz she reminds u of ur wife or sometin i think u shud find someone born in ur decade
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bluezebra (20676)
2009-03-03 19:13:17
If you were married for 16 years, that means that you have known the daughter since she was four, correct?
I don't know, i mean, i think it would be awkward, i mean, after knowing somebody that long don't you think of them as family (example: I have known my best friend since i was 3 years old (half a year more than i have known my half sister) and so i think of her as a sister, we don't always hang out, but i still think of her as another sister) don't you sort of think of the daughter, as your daughter?? If not, then do whatever, but eh...who am i too make your mind up for you
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nobodyspecial (21409)
2009-04-02 11:20:30
im also in love with my step daughter, my wife and i do not talk much or even have sex anymore, but her daughter and i get along so well, shes gorgeous and we share a lot together. id leave my wife anyday to be with her.
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Lambent (24304)
2009-06-16 23:41:42
How sad and unfortunate.
Only if it's meant to be, I suppose.
But it won't be socially acceptable.
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Chonga (24243)
2009-06-22 22:49:23
Beauty & The Beast/Days of Our Lives plot?
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dingopepper (25444)
2009-07-12 03:37:30
I say if it's mutual, it's not a problem. BUT, it's easy to project your feelings onto someone else and look for confirmations that may not actually be there. Be extremely careful with this, it could go terribly wrong for you. Take your time and let her take the lead. If she doesn't, I wouldn't push the issue.
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Ajeel06 (25588)
2009-07-15 19:31:05
what do you expect to get out of her? she's your dead wife's daughter....kind of sick in my opinion...specially if your just some horny fuck. let her be...you should know by now that if you tell her anything, she will most deff think differently about you.
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anabolic19 (25748)
2009-07-20 17:23:02
your probably going to scare her away she obviously sees you as a father figure you should not do anything

imagin when you die whats your wife who you love dearly going to say

if i were you i'd try and forget about it
you probably have feelings for her because shes the closest thing to your wife
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themysteriousfrenchfry (26407)
2009-07-31 14:54:32
@: SlimFast
i agree with SlimFast (up top)
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Nightwish27 (26835)
2009-08-13 19:05:01
nigga please
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enteng22 (15237)
2009-08-31 05:54:48
Hi guys,
I am the one who wrote the topic and asked for advices. I am overwhelmed and grateful for all of you who posted their comments. I thank God I was able to meet the right girl... I left her to her opwn and with her own relatives. I am about to marry a wonderful young lady and she acccepted me as I am.

Thanks to you all... i am somehow awakened by your advices. Thanks again for your concern. I pray that all of you may come to know the Lord Jesus Christ and accept Him as your Lord and Savior. God bless you all... I am now closing this thread... Ciao!!!

Enteng
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robinbrown (29082)
2009-09-28 03:44:15
Go very carefully. She still looks to you as Daddy and you want to protect those family feelings. It's important for her to feel that she still has one parent since she lost her other parent. Be there for her in a fatherly way.
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blissfullysarcastic (29944)
2009-10-17 11:30:38
i think you should at least tell her...but make sure you are in love with HER and not the bit of her which reminds you of her mother other wise if you find out you don't love her like that you could hurt her.

@ flikr:

you're a dick
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seximal91 (29772)
2009-10-21 18:33:11
i would totally hit that! wanna smoke pot later?
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nothing2 (29013)
2009-10-25 19:43:21
grief has knocked out outta orbit. or maybe it has'nt. depends i guess. you get out much? her?
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