I think im obsessed with my boyfriend and i need to quit

23% Normal

14 Comments

Hello there,

You need to learn to see this relationship from his point of view. You may think that you love him very much, but from his side he will think you're obsessive and borderline stalker. Strangely enough, your suffocating love for him will be the reason why he might break up with you one day.

Learn to pace things. Look into the mirror and tell yourself you will only call him three or four times a week and not more than that. If he wants to say something, listen to what he has to say. Let him do most of the talking for now.

Anyway, I hope things will go well. Good luck!

True , give him some space or u might drive him away ..
Good luck =)

I know exactly how you feel, I am in the exact same boat. I've been with ym boyfriend for just over a year now and I love him to peices but i've completely changed from how I was when we first got together. Everything was fine for months and months in fact i'm not really sure when I started being so obsessed, but I can't get by the day not hearing off him sometimes it makes me feel so sad that he doesn't want to talk to me but it's not like that at all, a couple should be able to go a day without having to speak its stupid because I know that and I just can't help it. If we have an argument and he's done something wrong i'm the one that gets worried i'll loose him and I apologise and end up ringing and ringing to try and make things okay between us but he wants a bit of space to just forget about things and I make everything worse by trying to talk to him and apologise and everything! I avoid making plans with my friends just in case I might get the chance of spending tiem with my boyfriend instead, but when I know he's busy and I go out with my friends I think about him but i'm fien and happy knowing we as a couple are good but I can go out with my friends and have a good time while he's out with his, so I think to myself right i'll make more arrangments with my friends and if he then wants to see me i'll say ive got arrangements and we'll see each other another time. But it doesn't work because i'll end up going out with my friends then my boyfriends wants to do something and I find myself resenting the fact i'm stuck seeing my friends when I could be spending time with my boyfriend so I go back to waiting around to hear off him! It's so hard to try and change because I don't want to loose my boyfriend so I don't want us to break up and me try and move on and become more of my own person I want to stay with him but not be such an obsessive! But I don't know what to do I try and keep myself busy doing other things but then I get really annoyed if I do something and then he wants to see me and I can;t just spend anytime by myself anymore just chilling and watching tv or something like I used to enjoy doing from time to time but now all i do is sit there not even being able to concentrate on a film because i'm too busy thinking why doesn't he want to see me, whats he doing should I ring him, should I text him and if we've fallen out I just ring him and text him apologises which I know will get on his nerves but I just want him to know i'm sorry so that we can get on with being happy. arghhhh it's driving me crazy I was thinkign maybe there might be something psychologically wrong with me and maybe I should go see my doctor am I being stupid or should I see a doctor??

I have the same problem..I become overly obsessive over time I feel like I am going to lose my partner and then start acting weird,needy,clingy and then when I push him away I ask myself what is wrong with me but then to forget him I blame all on him,that he didn't love me enough and if he did he would stick with me no matter what,fulfill my needs and caprices,accept my jealousy as not such a bad thing because I wouldn't be jealous if i don't care about him ,jump from the bridge with me if i decide to jump (literally of course)!I suggest you to talk to your family, relatives, friends even with your boyfriend, and try to explain him how you feel and in the mean time you can read this book I`ve heard is really good and I just ordered it from Amazon.com for only 10$ shipping included.The book is called "If This Is Love Why Do I Feel So Insecure?" Author Carl Phd Hindy! I hope it helps both of us!!

I understand completely too. I'm in the same situation and I don't know how to fix it. Like when I don't get to see him like for a day, my chest gets really tight and I'm just miserble. We've been dating for almost nine months and I'm madley in love with him. Its really difficult and I hope you get throught it well. Good Luckkk :)

im in the same problem im so sick of it
because it is starting to realy hurts
because he started to act different because i think he can see now how im attached to him..
when we fight he hangup and dont pick up and i keep calling him 2 hours time after time i dont wanna do it but i cant stop..
if he dont then i cry my self to sleep
i wasn't like tht when i first met him
sometimes i say because we've been together for 5 years and because he is the first love in my life i dunno but im so tired somtimes i dont even feel like i wanna live anymore because its too much pain

I thought I was bad. I have been with my bf for a year but I've seen other people, but no matter what happens it's him that I go back to and it is him that I break up with everyone else for. When he calls I grin soo much I feel like I'm about to explode, and the littlest arguments would send me crying all night until we make up, and I always make the first move because us being mad just makes me go mad and crazy.

Basically you've got to have time apart, do something else like a hobby that keeps you're mind of him. Take some control, it's hard to say, but once you have you feel feel better, because although he may not be he seems like the dominent one in the relationship. When you do argue think to yourself 'I have my pride and he is not worth all this fuss. If it is he's fault he should be manly enough to apologise first.'. Do not apologise straight away, give yourself some time.

I guess there is many steps but i found that being more dominent has helped me less obsessed with him

i have the same problem and i just submitted my story on it not too long ago. i love him so bad it hurts me. i cry a lot. i get angry a lot, and rather make him happy than to make my own self happy :{ it hurts so bad.

okay this is kinda the same problem .. i have been with my bf over a year now, its my first serious relationship and the 1st 6 months months were the best... but after that we fought every single day. when we would fight he would call and apologise even if it was his fault because he seemed so clingy but now im the obsessed one, i do something wrong he gets totally angry and ignores me for ages, even though it was something small, i wud ring he wud turn his phone off, i get really upset that he doesn't want to see me all the time and i do ... at this minute i decided we need a break.. i just said it to see would he care and he just never txted back so i assume thats what he wants .. or does he want to break up ?? is it normal im this obsessed or are most girls the same ??

if u asked to go on a break and he didnt text back either its because he does want that or because he just expects you to back down and change your mind first...its clear he thinks he has the control in your relationship.
Sounds like it would be better if you took a break and made an effort not to contact him at all and really try to keep yourself busy and happy without him. He will end up realising what he is missing and, hopefully, make the effort to talk to you so you can explain what is making you unhappy and make an effort to help fix the problem. I had the same problem in my first relationship and when you let the other person have all the control they take you for granted and aren't there for you like they should be.
being obsessed with your partner is generally down to a lack of love and affection on their behalf, which was usually there to begin with, making you needy and obsessed with trying to get back that feeling u had at the beginning of the realtionship.

You know why you all have the same problem? because this is wat relationships are. A struggle and a whole bunch of pain. You girls are thinking to much and not realizing what the boys are seeing. All dating is just a play with eachothers emotions, and a struggle for control over your girl (for guys) or over your self control (the girls). Its going to hurt, get over it. Somebody has to break the truth to these people.

Wow. My first reaction was "wow, I wish you were my girlfreind, Id be flattered" , but reading on, it really does not sound healthy for you.
I wish you could find a way to get your independence back, and be strong in yourself. Is it possible that he is actually bad for you?

OMG reading the above posts has really been somewhat of a revaltion for me. I am a guy who has never been in a relationship. At least seeing all this stuff might help me to bring some understanding when I do get in one.

Thanks.

Yeah, i obsess too. Except I started obsessing when he broke up with me one time, and started lying to me. He gets high all the time and never wants to talk. Ever. He acts like he doesnt give a sh*t. It hurts me and Im always worried about him breaking up with me. It sucks major ass.