My father was abusive towards me almost since I remember, verbally, psychologically. To the extent that I messed up my life, maybe trying to find happiness somewhere else, or maybe trying to get his attention. The crazy thing is that I still need to feel and believe that he really loves me and supports me, but in reality he still as cold and cruel as before. It seems he hates me, etc. The problem is that I can't get over it, and have not done anything productive with my life, suffering deep depression for more than 20 yrs., my life is a mess, like I am sort of still expecting his approval and unconditional love and support. To make it worse, I am now 40 yrs old. It's a terrible dependence that has undermined my self-confidence, and driven me to life-long depression. I have not been able to realize my dreams and projects, so I want to know if it is really just a cowardly excuse not to live my life, or is there really something wrong with me related to what I think is this trauma?
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I would advise you to seek some professional counseling ASAP.
Best wishes!
FrancoisDillinger says:
If someone refuses to realize the mistakes they have made then they'll never feel the need to change.
I sort of had a situation like this with my grandmother only difference is I said fuck her. I'm trying to coach my mom through it still.
I know because it's a parent it must be extremely difficult. I can't imagine having to do what I'm about to advise you to do, but I think it would be the best bet for you.
You have to give up on him, man. It's been 20 years and you realize the problem. Now it's time to fix it.
I did it to my grandmother. It wasn't easy but it wasn't hard once I realized what a horrible person she is. Like I said I know it's different with a parent.
I wish you all the best