Hi all,
I m 39 years old and never had a girlfriend.
One day a young woman ( 25 years old )whom I know through work , wanted to learn from me the basic design skills required to get a project done. So I happily accepted without making a big deal out of it ( I knew she had a fiance ). The very first day we worked she told me how unhappy she was with her fiance. So I tried to reassure her and told her to take her time and make her feel better. As the time went by she kept seeing me on a daily basis. we talked, laughed etc... We talked a lot about ourselves and our personal lives. I found out how sad she was with her life ( she even cried a couple of times ).Then one day, out of the blue, she tells me on the phone she wanted to make babies. I wasn't sure what she really meant but being a gentleman and knowing she was engaged I decided not to go after that comment. I wanted her but I didn't want an affair.
Unfortunately through 4 months of being together I fell in love for her. So I asked her out, after she officially broke out.It was the first time I had such strong feelings for someone. She rejected me, acted weird on me and then ignored me for the next 6 months until I told her I couldn't accept being treated that way. Right after breaking up with her fiance of 7 years she told me she was in a new relationship with another guy just a month or two after her breakup. I feel miserable and awful. At the same time my friends tell me I dodged a bullet. But I can't help my feelings for her and so I run , every single day, to kill my emotional pain. I run about 40 to 60 miles a week. My physical pain from running is nothing compared to my emotional pain ( I have 3 toes turning black and about to lose my toe nails from all that running ). I have resigned to the fact that I ll never meet the woman I want to care for. I fell in love for the first time in my life and hope will never fall in love again.
Right now I have an excellent career in the aerospace industry but because I want to move on and forget her I am actively looking for a new job.
Alex , a broken man :( ......
I m 39 years old and never had a girlfriend.
One day a young woman ( 25 years old )whom I know through work , wanted to learn from me the basic design skills required to get a project done. So I happily accepted without making a big deal out of it ( I knew she had a fiance ). The very first day we worked she told me how unhappy she was with her fiance. So I tried to reassure her and told her to take her time and make her feel better. As the time went by she kept seeing me on a daily basis. we talked, laughed etc... We talked a lot about ourselves and our personal lives. I found out how sad she was with her life ( she even cried a couple of times ).Then one day, out of the blue, she tells me on the phone she wanted to make babies. I wasn't sure what she really meant but being a gentleman and knowing she was engaged I decided not to go after that comment. I wanted her but I didn't want an affair.
Unfortunately through 4 months of being together I fell in love for her. So I asked her out, after she officially broke out.It was the first time I had such strong feelings for someone. She rejected me, acted weird on me and then ignored me for the next 6 months until I told her I couldn't accept being treated that way. Right after breaking up with her fiance of 7 years she told me she was in a new relationship with another guy just a month or two after her breakup. I feel miserable and awful. At the same time my friends tell me I dodged a bullet. But I can't help my feelings for her and so I run , every single day, to kill my emotional pain. I run about 40 to 60 miles a week. My physical pain from running is nothing compared to my emotional pain ( I have 3 toes turning black and about to lose my toe nails from all that running ). I have resigned to the fact that I ll never meet the woman I want to care for. I fell in love for the first time in my life and hope will never fall in love again.
Right now I have an excellent career in the aerospace industry but because I want to move on and forget her I am actively looking for a new job.
Alex , a broken man :( ......
I cannot give you any advice other than trying to forget her the best that you can. It might take you months, even years.
I think that first true loves are the hardest to forget. I am still getting over someone; it has been almost a year.
As much as I feel attraction towards other guys, although rarely; I cannot fall in love with anyone else.
I look forward to the day when my heart heals. :)
However for those who like to say " just " go out there, I have been very active in the past years. I was part of a rowing team for 5 years ( twice team captain ) , took all sorts of art classes, been on many dating web sites, took tango classes, went to night clubs ( which i hate ) etc...
It s much more complex than " just go out there " and think you ll find a potential mate.
I am picky I admit but I m not looking for a top model.
The one I fell for was pretty average looking to tell you the truth.
You don t necessarily know all the facts about what she was doing . But she definitely flirted with me and fooled also my colleagues who were convinced she was after me.
She also wanted to spend week-ends with me while she was engaged.