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IIN I don't want to get a job or do anything?
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I'm very bitter and cynical, and feel like I owe the world nothing. I don't want to work or give something back to the world, all I want to do is live in my house and take care of my birds. I hate people so I hardly ever go outside, I have no friends and I'm completely fine with this.

Even if I wanted a job I have no motivation to do anything anyway, everyday is a struggle because even simple things are hard for me, such as eating and showering. Most days I can only manage to eat one meal a day if I'm lucky though usually I don't eat anything, and I can go days without a shower because I just can't do it.

I've already been to doctors and they've prescribed me pills that supposedly should give me more energy/will but they don't seem to be working but I often forget to take them anyway, I have a terrible memory even though I'm only 18.

There is no use for me to try doing things because I hate myself and I don't deserve anything. I think about killing myself often but again, unfortunately, my motivation stops me from actually attempting anything. I've been looking for easy ways to do it but every method seems to either be extremely painful or slow. I know a gun would help and be easiest but unfortunately where I live their illegal. To be honest the only real thing stopping me is I don't want to leave a mess for my family to clean up, I don't really want to upset them either as they are highly emotional which can get annoying. I just wish I could kill myself without anyone caring.
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Comments (7)
Textbook depression obviously.
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But let me guess, you expect us all to support you via taxes to pay for your welfare?
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I don't expect anything, but my parents have already put me on welfare due to other conditions that make it difficult to perform work. If it was up to me I'd be lying in the street somewhere but my parents want to help me.

I do do odd jobs here and there, I'm best on the computer so I mainly only do programming and graphics though they don't really pay much. Don't really care anyway as I mostly just do them to pass the time and get my thoughts away from suicide.
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If you're only 18 and feel this way your life probably won't get better as you get older. Most people on this site would give useless crap advice along the lines of "buck up, it will get better" Well I don't do that. It almost certainly WON'T get better as time goes on and you get older. Life really is what you make it and if everyday for you is not fun at all, well you should have every right to end your own suffering.

Doctors and pills and all that won't help either. That is total crap and the pills are prescribed to tranquilize you instead of making you "happy".
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If all you've tried is prescription medication you've been badly advised, because most of it will make you more lethargic and less likely to make any meaningful changes.

How about counselling or Cognitive Behavior Therapy or anything else which could improve your view of yourself and the world?

Up to you, I just hate to think of an 18 year old giving up on life so young.
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Sounds almost exactly like me. It's normal, even if you don't think it is or people say it isn't. Don't listen to anyone besides yourself, because 95% of the time people are wrong. Listen to your instincts!
I don't work either, because of anxiety and I feel uncomfortable around people. It's something that the world done to me, by being judging and untrustworthy. I don't owe anything to anyone, unless they done something for me THAT I ASKED FOR. If someone do something for me that I didn't asked for, it's their problem, not mine. Don't fall in line with the rest of the brain dead who think we're responsible for each other, simply because we're the same flesh and blood shit bags. If someone go on thin ice and it breaks under them, why would I help? It's natural selection or wtf they call it. The weak and the stupid will die, because they're stupid and weak. Ain't nothing wrong with that! The least I need is to risk my life for some unintelligent idiot who can't think before acting.

If you want my advice, don't feel too much. I know from experience that feeling too much will backfires! Don't do it.
If you want money, think about what are you good at. Do it for money. For example, if you're semi-good at photoshop, do some cheap shit, like twitch overlays or something. Some basic overlays that look good. It's entirely possible.
I personally writing a book, and hopefully people will like it. I will make it entirely free and those who like it can donate to help me. Anxiety ruined my life, but this doesn't stop me from living it. If nothing works, I'll go and live in the middle of a forest, hunt for food and shit. And if this doesn't work either, then I will fight to death with a bear. At least I'll die fighting, not playing the victim like others do.
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Most don't want a job but they need one. You sound like you have severe clinical depression though. Maybe try a therapist?
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