I don't understand why I'm the "creative" one of my family.
I find it entirely unfair that the rest of my family are gifted with scientific minds, while I'm stuck with this less than admirable artistic mind of mine. I make great fictional stories in my head, and I do not really mind that I'm capable of such, but I do not think it quite measures up to the ability to think in logical terms; quite often do I feel my abilities are counterproductive, and that the reality of it all is that it measures to nothing short of just frivolous garbage.
Now, mind you, the career that I wish to pursue exclusively deals with translation/interpretation work, which I suppose that some level of creativity is involved; most especially with translation work, you have to make your translation sound appealing while staying within the intended meaning-I honestly hate it when a translation isn't even close.
I guess my real problem is that I feel less than adequate compared to the rest of my family; my sister is an OBGYN and my brother a bio-chemist, so you can see how I could often stress myself to measure up to either of them, which has lead to my being a perfectionist-it's quite an obnoxious trait. Irritatingly enough, I can't just push such qualms into the back of my mind without it coming back to haunt me later. I feel that this has all made me quite a miserable person, though my life is comparably good to that of many others.
I'm at conflict with my creativity, and my interests in certain fields of science; I really do find myself fascinated with the perplexities of the human mind, to Astronomy, genetics, etc... I have a wide range of interests, but no mind to pursue them. I feel as though I can do so much, but lack the stipulated skill, or level of intelligence. I shouldn't view creativity in such a narrow perspective as it can apply to just about anything, but I often find it to be the reason that I fall short in so many things; I often over-think simple concepts, and equations, which in turn makes me feel "slow".
Wow, I feel as though these few paragraphs have been sort of off-topic to the real issue at hand; my mind is a jumbled mess at the moment. Do forgive the unorganized, wordy mess you see before you.
In summation, I loathe my creative/artistic side, as I have nothing to really show for it. I'm not good enough, or willing to be a true artist, I feel that is not my purpose.
I find it entirely unfair that the rest of my family are gifted with scientific minds, while I'm stuck with this less than admirable artistic mind of mine. I make great fictional stories in my head, and I do not really mind that I'm capable of such, but I do not think it quite measures up to the ability to think in logical terms; quite often do I feel my abilities are counterproductive, and that the reality of it all is that it measures to nothing short of just frivolous garbage.
Now, mind you, the career that I wish to pursue exclusively deals with translation/interpretation work, which I suppose that some level of creativity is involved; most especially with translation work, you have to make your translation sound appealing while staying within the intended meaning-I honestly hate it when a translation isn't even close.
I guess my real problem is that I feel less than adequate compared to the rest of my family; my sister is an OBGYN and my brother a bio-chemist, so you can see how I could often stress myself to measure up to either of them, which has lead to my being a perfectionist-it's quite an obnoxious trait. Irritatingly enough, I can't just push such qualms into the back of my mind without it coming back to haunt me later. I feel that this has all made me quite a miserable person, though my life is comparably good to that of many others.
I'm at conflict with my creativity, and my interests in certain fields of science; I really do find myself fascinated with the perplexities of the human mind, to Astronomy, genetics, etc... I have a wide range of interests, but no mind to pursue them. I feel as though I can do so much, but lack the stipulated skill, or level of intelligence. I shouldn't view creativity in such a narrow perspective as it can apply to just about anything, but I often find it to be the reason that I fall short in so many things; I often over-think simple concepts, and equations, which in turn makes me feel "slow".
Wow, I feel as though these few paragraphs have been sort of off-topic to the real issue at hand; my mind is a jumbled mess at the moment. Do forgive the unorganized, wordy mess you see before you.
In summation, I loathe my creative/artistic side, as I have nothing to really show for it. I'm not good enough, or willing to be a true artist, I feel that is not my purpose.
