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IIN if I still want to have sex with him?
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So my dude and I have been in a really confusing stage but cause we are ending things yet we're still hanging out and making the best of it for all the time we have left since I'm moving back home which is like 2 hrs away. He broke my heart and it is the first time for me sooo it really sucks feeling this way. I guess the reason why it sucks so much and hurts so much this time is because I really loved him and seriously when they say you're with someone and everything disappears, its true when you really like someone. So for me, he was my everything regardless of the many times he hurt my feelings. But we talked it over which gave me a huge peace of mind and now know where we stand. I was happy after everything, he ended being the one to contact me to talk and he said "because he cares." It meant a lot especially knowing him and his lack of effort. He definitely grew the balls that night to make a move and not me. But although we talked and he apologized a few times and expressed himself, I still look at him like "you bastard, you don't know how hard you ripped my heart and just left all the pieces on the ground." I am trying to not let myself go to him again as much as I want to kiss him, give him affection, and be there for him. I wanna take care of him so bad but its like why? He doesn't deserve it. It all comes down to sex, too. At first I was like hell no I genuinely don't feel like having sex with him. But as we kept hanging out, he was putting more effort and just reminded me why I liked him in the first place and eventually started feeling a little horny, but not like in a gross way just in a real, passionate way. He was kind of making a move on me but I kept rejecting it. I was like this is the right thing to do but do I really not want to have sex with him? I am moving and I want to have sex with him one last time and make it amazing like we're wrapping this whole thing up and signifying how much it meant. Plus, our sex was amazing. I only had sex with him even if he wasn't my official bf because I felt like I was his and it felt good. You know you love someone when he/she is the only person you wanna have sex with even if you're both single. But does he deserve it? Definitely not. But does my heart, even though its hurting, want to? Yes. But my mind is saying no and at this point my mind is winning. But I don't want to regret not doing it with him especially I'm moving and who knows if I'll see him again. Yet I don't want to have sex with him and throughout the whole thing, I'm thinking, wow he doesn't deserve this but I like it...and later I regret giving him all of me again. I have like 2 weeks left but we're both pretty busy so idk how much time I have left to decide should I have sex with him or not? and is this normal?
Is It Normal?
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Comments (10)
Dont do it. You'll only regret it in the end.
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never have I known sex to simplify things when a relationship is at its terminal stages, it only complicates things
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thought you were a ghost knowing everything happened with me when reading your story :\ well at least you know if it's not normal to people, then you're not alone. I have your back. Exactly what's happened with me and my ex, but at least I didn't do thing that I would regret later, some significant tradegy made me change the way I think about everything when the voice in my head keep trying to tell me what should do blah blah blah why my heart would suffer and been left with new, unwounded scars. we did talk, he knew how I felt for him, I knew how he felt for me, but he's just a tyoe of commitement-phobe and 'm so afraid of hurting myself if still letting myself into him. We didn't talk for a while, and it was like hell to me...one day, he came up to me again, but my mind won this time, we're still cool and friend but that's it. He's moving for NYC for his first job, at least we are not going to see each other, or around the school, the town, etc...that really helps me alot to not think about him. and if it does happen I miss him somehow, I would recall those times he hurts me so bad with broken oieces on the ground, that voice would keep telling me that he's not deserve for me at all.
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szlub
Lol. I am not laughing to make fun of you. I just think it's crazy how Im kind of basically going through the same thing. I suggest that no matter how much you want to, just don't. Don't give in. Show that you're strong. You can control yourself. Me and my bf broke up 1 month ago and I am still living with him :(. At first right after the break up, I would just want him and all that. I made myself look like a fool by going up to him and trying to start things and leading him on. But he rejected me. That damn fucker. It was pretty embarrassing. But w.e. Your situation is a bit different than mine. At least he wants you. But any who. I think that he think he can get it whenever he wants and you would just give in. Don't give in. For reals. That will just ruin things with you because if you do end up giving in, you r feeling for him might come back or you'll just be thinking about him even more and all of the memories and etc etc. Which will then put you back to probably crying and all that. Every night, since I sleep in the same bed as my ex, I just want to go to him and make him want me. Buuuuttt I just don't do it. It's quite hard but after 1 month, I can handle. And there have been times when he would try things but nope. Just don't do it. ;). Sorry to pretty much tell you my story. I got caught off. haha. But yeah. Say no.
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Be careful, as sexual activity can be very overwealming and It can make the brain lose decision making capability very quickly.... Masbey it is time to sit down a little while and get in touch with what is not yet seen in this situation
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I dont understand how people think sex somehow changes feelings or whatever...I have had my heart ripped out by girls I never had sex with and I have had sex with girls that I couldnt even tell you their name or would recognize them if I saw them.....

For me sex and love are two totally different things ...I really wish they came in a nice package like that but they dont for me...

Now in your case , it might confuse you to searte the two feelings, but even then you do still care about him...he is aart of your life and feelings ..so its not like its a starnger...but listen to your heart
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@: Lonely2
So in other words you would have sex with anyone? and it doesn't have to be with love? Well that just explains it cause you're a guy. Sex for girls and guys are two different things in general. Pretty sure there are girls out there who look at sex as just pleasure and guys who look at sex with love. But yeah, this proves how for males, sex is just to get a piece of meat. Sad.
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Love is a very complex thing and not necessarily the same for everyone...what is love but very intense feelings of longing, desire, care, attraction and time......for me to be truely in love my heart would have to yearn, my brain would have to be stimulated and my sex desire would have to rage and they in turn would have to feel the same and these feelings of not being able to live without each other would have to last over time....I have felt these feelings a few times but the girls never reciprocated...now I am 50 yrs old and frankly have given up on love...it hasnt happened when I was at my peak of health, fitness and virility so I am done waiting...I hope you dont have so many disappointments , hurts, and frustrations but if you do you would understand.....

So I now pursue only pleasure ...not that I dont want love but that I am done waiting for it...I will soon be a dried up old man ...dead and in the grave...although I am still fit, healthy and virile...but I will be old soon enough...so those brief embraces of desire and sweetness are better than nothing...young people like you think life is forever..it is actually gone before we know it...and we are old and shriveled up soon enough
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Being in love and being obsessed are not the same thing. To love someone is know when to care for them and to know when to let them go, to be obsessed with someone is to wanna have sex with them very badly, or to hold onto them and not let go.
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Haddaway
"What is love?!" - The haddaway aka black jesus
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