I have been dating this guy for 11 months and this past weekend he finally made a commitment to me and we decided to become exclusive. He told me he wants me to meet his family and I'm just so happy. I could really see myself with him for a long time .. hopefully forever. The problem is, he told me that he had sex with another woman twice while dating me.
I understand that we were not exclusive but I always wanted to and he was the one with commitment issues. I never pressured him and I actually only asked him for a commitment once but he said he wasn't sure and wanted to spend more time with me.
Anyways, I can't seem to get over this. I keep thinking about it and wondering what she had over me. I feel betrayed and hurt. He told me how they met and now I'm even over thinking it more.. She even has pictures of the two of them posted on facebook. Honestly, I'm a very mature 25 year old female but right now I feel very small and don't understand why I can't shake this off.
I really feel like I'm falling in love with this man and we are finally in a good place that I've wanted for so long. How can I overcome this? Any advice is helpful!
I understand that we were not exclusive but I always wanted to and he was the one with commitment issues. I never pressured him and I actually only asked him for a commitment once but he said he wasn't sure and wanted to spend more time with me.
Anyways, I can't seem to get over this. I keep thinking about it and wondering what she had over me. I feel betrayed and hurt. He told me how they met and now I'm even over thinking it more.. She even has pictures of the two of them posted on facebook. Honestly, I'm a very mature 25 year old female but right now I feel very small and don't understand why I can't shake this off.
I really feel like I'm falling in love with this man and we are finally in a good place that I've wanted for so long. How can I overcome this? Any advice is helpful!
Although I have never been in this situation I think I can empathize.
The advice I can give you is to realize that he did choose you over her. He decided to make you exclusive which means that whatever past relationships he had in the past are over. His love for you has grown and he chose you.
:)
As for what does he see in other girls? Lots of things. You can't expect him to only find you pretty, biologically we are attracted to who we are attracted to. It doesn't mean better, just means different, and if he wasn't sure what he wanted of course he tested other waters, to make sure that you were truly the direction he wanted to go.
At least that's how I would see the logic, assuming no ulterior motives. Then again I certainly can't attempt to judge your S.O.'s character based simply on a short story on a forum.
I know that this is more acceptable in the States than the UK but if he does anything from this moment on then it's time to kick him to the curb. You don't need to put up with any crap.
I don't know why he had to tell you this at all. If you asked him, always remember NOT to ask a question that you won't like the answer to!
I'm married over 20 years and have never asked my husband about any ex he ever had or if he ever slept with anyone. I know that I would be just like you, and be hurt. Remember that the past is over, do not keep dragging it up and hopefully you two can move on to have a future.
Good luck and let this be a lesson. You don't need to tell him things about your past either that might hurt him.
Chill Xena, sounds like you've been really hurt :)
Worse things happen at sea.
Haven't you ever dated/liked 2/3 guys at a time? If you haven't its cool. It really goes right back to how frequently have you guys dated per month? 11 months is a long time to see each other without sex and all that other couples' bs. lol.
It seems to me like he chose you for a reason. if he wanted to be with her, and not you, he would. and 2 times? co'mon, that's just a tap on the cheek whether I'm from.
Fight your inadequacy feelings!