This seems to have become especially apparent in the last couple of years, and especially with my mum.
I get the impression that she's trying to stop caring about me so I'll get the hint and move out, even though I can't afford to (unless I go to dad :/).
She's apparently bipolar/depressed. She's been on many medications for it and is currently giving up smoking, in the hope of getting the Champix tablets.
All she seems to do is play on her computer and watch TV. She barely exercises (not even to go outside for a walk for 20-30 minutes), but then again she has arthritis and/or something torn which she's meant to get seen about but hasn't made the appointment yet.
I don't feel like we get on nearly as much as we used to.
I don't do much housework, but I quite often feel like I have to otherwise it wouldn't get done at all. (I'll load and unload the dishwasher and do laundry without asking and wait and hope mum gets round to cleaning up the rest of the kitchen... which she never does unless someone is coming round, and then she's obsessive about it).
I never feel like I can talk to her because she's too busy stuck in her own head pretending to be depressed.
Sometimes I wish she'd grow up and get over herself.
I get the impression that she's trying to stop caring about me so I'll get the hint and move out, even though I can't afford to (unless I go to dad :/).
She's apparently bipolar/depressed. She's been on many medications for it and is currently giving up smoking, in the hope of getting the Champix tablets.
All she seems to do is play on her computer and watch TV. She barely exercises (not even to go outside for a walk for 20-30 minutes), but then again she has arthritis and/or something torn which she's meant to get seen about but hasn't made the appointment yet.
I don't feel like we get on nearly as much as we used to.
I don't do much housework, but I quite often feel like I have to otherwise it wouldn't get done at all. (I'll load and unload the dishwasher and do laundry without asking and wait and hope mum gets round to cleaning up the rest of the kitchen... which she never does unless someone is coming round, and then she's obsessive about it).
I never feel like I can talk to her because she's too busy stuck in her own head pretending to be depressed.
Sometimes I wish she'd grow up and get over herself.
Sadly, although we love our children we can get to the point where we decide that we actually don't really like them as people. This is why some families are not friendly with each other.
I agree with this. I think the opposite can be applied as well: people grow up to realize that they don't like their parent(s) as people even though they do love them.
This is a tough balancing act - but hey, we can't like everyone!
Perhaps as we get older, we are so much more confident, realising that other people's opinions don't matter - they're only words, they have no impact on our lives. Also, we know that time is passing very quickly, and is in fact, running out. By the time we are sitting rocking in an old people's home all we have are memories rather than heightened emotions so I believe it's important to create happy ones and not regret wasting time on people who are wasters.
You've given me food for thought though on that theory! Thanks.
My father suffers of schizofrenia (I don't know how to spell it, apologies) and I know for certain that he is not 'pretending'.
Perhaps you need to look a bit beyond your own wants - what if your mother is suffering?
I know deep down she suffers... and I wish I could understand it better. However, she is
A* A very good actress (She's told me herself how she has to look and act the part when giving talks at conferences for disabled people and has just come back from a conference in Finland and I've seen how dramatic the change in her often is) and B* The way the depression manifests itself isn't dramatic or immediately obvious to my mind.
I don't know whether I can take back what I said and I realise now that was a very callous comment. Apologies to you and your dad, and my mum.