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IIN to think about ending a relationship bc my family don't approve
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Im an 18 year old with a strict baptist background. My boyfriend of almost a year is of a different race and my family doesn't believe in mixed race relationship. I don't want to loose my family but I've grown so close to him I want to go forward with our relationship. My mom & family has made it clear they want nothing to do with me if I stay with him. My mother raised me as a single parent and has done a lot and sacrificed a lot for me the rest of my family and I have a decently close relationship and I don't want to loose that. Im scared of making the wrong choice. I don't know what's best. Help please?
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Comments (13)
*lose.

Your mum is a bigot.
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I understand that she raised you by herself and you are close, and i know that you don't want to upset her or loose that but she's being xenophobic and unreasonable. If your partner was on hard drugs or was violent towards you it would be more understandable but to threaten to stop contact over your partners ethnicity is in my opinion disgusting. You have to judge what matters more to you but I will say this. I don't know your family but often things will be said and threats will be made but they don't always happen or might only happen for a few weeks or months. I hope everything sorts itself out for you :)
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To judge somebody solely on his race is pure racist. Does his race determine who he is? Does his race automatically makes him a bad person?

It's really sad to see that people still react like this. Really sad.
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Choose the guy. Your mom will get over it eventually. Don't give up on true love for your mother.
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youv'e grown close to him you state but .. do you love him .. ? I don't believe in discriminating over race but , & i know that you say she doesn't believe in mixed race unions but honestly now .. are there other factors involved ? I just feel that there may be for some reason ..
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and people disagree on this too bad as i do believe you should respect what your mother says in some part & not totally disregard her altogether .. she's the one that raised you for 18 years & lets say you continue this relationship which is relatively in it's early stages & leave your family behind
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with bad words & a heavy heart & this guy screws you over .. ? Who have you got to turn to for the rest of your time on this earth then ?! Trust when i say , it is not a road you want to go down .. But that choice is entirely up to you.
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It most be hard to fear losing your family, especially your mom. Is she just against his race or is it more than that? Did he have a upbringing that your mom thinks will have a bad effect on you(for example: does he think that woman should be home while the men
works?).
If she just has a problem with his race, than I think you should sit her down and explain to her that this doesn't change who you are and your beliefs and future plans. You are simply inlove with a guy who happens to have a diffrent race. That shouldn't change anything between you and your mom.

You also mention "moving forward"
with your bf, what does that mean?
Sex, moving in together and/or getting married? Because if that's
what you mean, I do think your
mom is right(obviosly not about the
race thing!) in a way. You are a
adult in the eye, but besides that you are still a kid..
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It's not wrong for your mother to think the way she does. I'm going to make an assumption that it's for a reason even if it's not a good one. Your Mom is wrong however, to think that you should live your life according to how she feels about anything. Anyone, regardless of who they are, who tries to dictate who you should love based on their preferences does not have your best interests at heart.

Listen, I know you don't want to lose your family but think of what kind of life you're going to have if you let them control it. Today it may be the partner you choose for yourself but tomorrow it could be your career or your religion.

If you want to stay with this guy and your Mom decides she doesn't want to see you anymore then she's the one that's going to pay for it in the long run. She's going to miss out on seeing the kind of person her daughter is going to become and even the chance to know her own grandchildren if it comes to that. In order to get that point across you're going to have to stop thinking of her as the woman who raised you and start seeing her as she is; an equal. You're both adults now, and she doesn't have the right to tell you how to live you're life just like she doesn't have the right to tell any other adult how to live theirs. Tell her that if she wants to have any kind of relationship with you in the future she's going to do it on your terms. She has much more to lose than you do.
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I'd normally hate going against what my parents would say for that, but there's nothing in the baptist faith saying mixed race relationships aren't allowed. I'm sorry for your confliction. :(
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If you love him, and he is not abusive in anyway, you have to choose. I don't know what I would do, but you have to go with your heart. if you are a believer, pray about it.
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your mom sux big black cox
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In my book: always put a close partner & potential spouse before your parents or family; they are less likely to want to control you & rule your life, or stop you being yourself & making your own choices Apart from which racism is anti-Christ.
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