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I'm 21-guys never ask me out or show much interest.
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I'm 21. Guys never ask me out or show much interest. Guys never chase me. Will I be single for the rest of my life.......?
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Comments (48)
The problem is very few men have the confidence to talk to women as women think we do. We hide this from you women because if we show it we get judged by many women.

This is what a guy first thinks when a man likes a woman. I will write it in a way that shows you what goes on in a man's mind. I like this woman, she is pretty, she looks awesome but I don't know her and then we think:

1. Well, she is really pretty there is no way she is single so I will not bother talking to her and save her and myself the embarrassment.

2. I want to talk to her but she is way better looking than me there is no way a woman that looks like her would be into a guy like me so I won't bother.

3. I want to go and talk to her but I am scared to. Will I get in trouble?

4. I want to talk to her but how is she going to react if I do. Is she going to abuse, be nasty and evil like some women are when you approach them or is she friendly?

5. She has closed body language her arms are folded etc so I won't bother talking to her.

6. She has earphones in. This is going to be hard and may even come across as rude i won't bother.

7. I want to talk to her but o my gosh she has 3 of her friends with her nah I won't bother. The more friends a woman has around the more a guy is likely to think that.

I don't know I won't talk to her, I won't bother and then when guys get home we emotionally beat ourselves up and think maybe I should have just talked to her.

As you can see when it comes to talking to women we men don't have the confidence women think we do. We overthink it like crazy and think of everything that could go wrong and a lot of this comes from bad experiences in the past. All these thoughts I have mentioned are extremely common among men and really attractive women need to show they are single to increase their chances.

This is why women often stare at women but never go and talk to her.

Women need to show to men it is safe to come talk to them and that they want to be talked to. Women that smile, smirk and flirt etc succeed way more with men.

Hope this helps. :)
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Ugg, typo I mean

This is why men often stare at women but never go and talk to her.
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Spot on.
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@: Murun
Thank you mate. It amazes me just how blind many women are to this.
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Bravo :)
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New-Zealand-Guy Makes an excellent point, if your body languages is closed off guys will assume you're the one who's not interested.
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@: MR.mr
Thank you mate.
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Okay so, I did not upvote whether it's normal or not, I have no idea, I am a 23 year old female, have been single my whole life, quite bad with them boys...but I'm quite sure we arent the only ones lol, be yourself you'll find someone :)
I'm feeling wierd now because I'm more hopeful for you than I am hopeful for me..
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Its common... Don't worry.
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Its common don't worry
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It depends on your body language and the way you appear to them might be over bearing or dress cheap
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Dress cheap? Judgemental...
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I realised it was judgmental wasn't meant to be
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You must have issues.
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Excuse me if this sounds too blunt. This quesiton shows up weekly and I'm bored of writing out my explanations. But I'm sure you could find some of my answers if you look.

In short. To get asked out, you need to sacrifice everything special about who you are. You need to sacrifice being nice, being interesting, being funny, anything about you that is a good quality only hurts you here.

You need to be boring, be a bitch, be hot, and be dismissive of guys. Nothing else really matters. This needs to be as uncomplicated as possible. We can learn who you are later.

But for the approach guys are looking for someone wearing tight clothes, totally boring. Spandex, shirts, hair up, but nothing creative or individual.

And for your attitude to just be "over-it", like you are gonna say no. If you really want you can try to flirt with guys and fuck with their feelings, but very few girls can pull this off.

Don't try to look prettier, you are as hot as you are, there is nothing you can do about it, and you are probably much much better looking than you think to begin with.

That is it, wear make up, be boring, just be a random slut.

No guys are gonna go up to a cool nice girl, who's gonna get all happy when you ask for their number and makes some joke. I mean, good luck.

You are gonna get horny guys who just want as few steps as possible and as little emotion as possible, between seeing your ass and then fucking you.

If you are looking for anything more than that, you shouldn't be wasting your time waiting for a random dude to come up to you. Just like ask someone if he wants to hang out, or something.
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There can be several reasons why men dont ask you out. If you very fat or ugly, oh well. good luck. If not, take new zealand guy's advice
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Well, I am 5'6 and weigh 125 pounds. Only older men tell me I'm beautiful.
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so ur like, fit, but its not like ur as hot as a model, like ur normal and fit rite? if thats so then its probably the way u act or how ur face looks maybe
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Most females carry lots of diseases.
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Maybe you aren't putting yourself out there. That sounds really cliché, I know. But if you're really shy, it's going to be hard for you to find someone. Try dating sites, maybe? I'd say talk to guys, even just in a platonic way. Familiarise yourself with it, and it'll make it easier to flirt 'n all that jazz. It's all about confidence.
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Yea, I'm pretty shy.
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We need more information, I feel...
-Do you ever go out clubbing?
- Do you go to school or do you work?
- Are you a shy person?
- Would you say you are pretty?
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No..Guys only like "Fine" and attractive women. Take a look in a mirror. If you have alot of acne, bad hair, eye bags, or your face just isnt attractive, than thats probly why. Guys only talk to attractive females
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I agree, but i don't think most guys think any of those specific things really matter.
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Ok, older men tell I am beautiful but I never get guys randomly chatting me up in public or guys chasing me for my phone number. I am thin 5'6 and weigh 125 pounds, so its not my weight either.
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Guys also like big butts and big breasts..
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Since your problem is attracting interest, focus on improving your appearance. Lose weight, wear makeup and clothes that fit you.
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@: bubsy
How can you just say lose weight without any more information?? Losing weight only makes you more attractive if you are very very very overweight. Vast majority of guys don't see a difference even if you are over what a doctor would say is healthy.
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@: rayb12
I've gotten this critique before, so I'll try to remember what I said. Less than 2% of Americans are underweight, and I don't imagine it much higher when you factor in all English-speakers (everyone on IIN).

So statistically, I'm going to bet every time that someone who isn't attracting others, isn't underweight. That's why I give the advice when no more information is given.
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@: bubsy
No, last time you received this "critique", you assumed thatt what you wanted to hear was being said and missed the point entirely.

Nothing new.

You are irresponsible as well as stupid, gypsy.
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@: bubsy
Oh gypsy. You're adorable when you're stupid.

Btw. Are you that men's rights guy who ended up hiding in his mother's basement from all the scary internet peoples who didn't like him? Cos you really sound like him.
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@: bubsy
I'd disagree still because even if you are average or overweight within a certain window, losing weight in general doesn't make you more attractive to most men. Not trying to censor you, at the same time. Also please though make your own decision on this and resist the temptation to say it even more to spite charli
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@: rayb12
I agree that a woman being 10, 20 pounds overweight will not be a gamebreaker for most men. I'd go so far to say men are less picky than women, but all the more reason for a woman to get her weight in line if she isn't attracting men at all.

Chances are, OP is at weight that simply isn't healthy, if she isn't attracting men at all. It's oversimplified advice, but it's more actionable than the 'go check with your doctor' bull folks often give on IIN. The reality is that no one goes to their doctor for something like this.
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@: bubsy
Agree to disagree. I get you're going for constructive. But there are a lot of healthy girls who don't attract guys for a variety of other reasons. Of course if OP is severely over weight then you're right. But the danger in making the assumption is there are so many girls that are at a healthy weight but still feel the need to lose weight. Idk I've just had a lot of beautiful girls and family close to me with eating disorders/ low self esteem, warped sense of reality so it hits home for me. Totally see you are trying to help with a good heart. I guess it's just chances are she being overweight is the thing I can't see, because I've seen girls at all weights not be approached for different reasons.
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@: bubsy
nope, I'm thin. I am 5'6 and weigh 125 pounds but guys never approach or ask me out at all. Only older men will tell me i'm pretty and that's it.
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@: bubsy
I am not fat. I weigh 125 pounds and I am 5'6. I wear makeup sometimes but that still doesn't get me approached by men.
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Anal.
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