I’ve rehearsed it a thousand times in my mind. Been over the reasons but still I’m not sure how to. I mean how do you up and leave your partner of five years, the father of your two children? Our lives are so intertwined. Our kids, he’s family, my family, how do you explain....splitting from my partner would hurt so many people.
How do you go from being a family to being a single parent? It’s so scary. But I’m not happy. I’m not crazy in love. I know from time to time the spark does go out and it’s our job to spice things up again but what about if the seasoning has run out and the shops is closed? What happens then? If I don’t want to spice it up? I’m tired of this relationship. Is it so bad to admit that we met when we were young, I was 18 and he was 20 within 4 months I fell preggers and we chose to stick together and raise this baby as a family. 18months later we had another child. Now I’m 24 I feel I want my life back. There’s got to be more than this? I deserve to be happy and feel loved? But if I was to leave him it would crush my 5 year old. I think my 2 year old may be too young to understand. I don’t know what to do. I don’t really have friends I can confide in.
Further...our parenting styles are so different. It now becomes that our goals and what we want from life are so different. I want a career for my self...not necessarily riches but to live a comfortable life and see my kids happy and successful in life. I believe he wants the same but he goes about in an odd way. His way of thinking I become aware of more every day clashes with mine. ....................
So ...do we stay together for the kids? Or separate???
How do you go from being a family to being a single parent? It’s so scary. But I’m not happy. I’m not crazy in love. I know from time to time the spark does go out and it’s our job to spice things up again but what about if the seasoning has run out and the shops is closed? What happens then? If I don’t want to spice it up? I’m tired of this relationship. Is it so bad to admit that we met when we were young, I was 18 and he was 20 within 4 months I fell preggers and we chose to stick together and raise this baby as a family. 18months later we had another child. Now I’m 24 I feel I want my life back. There’s got to be more than this? I deserve to be happy and feel loved? But if I was to leave him it would crush my 5 year old. I think my 2 year old may be too young to understand. I don’t know what to do. I don’t really have friends I can confide in.
Further...our parenting styles are so different. It now becomes that our goals and what we want from life are so different. I want a career for my self...not necessarily riches but to live a comfortable life and see my kids happy and successful in life. I believe he wants the same but he goes about in an odd way. His way of thinking I become aware of more every day clashes with mine. ....................
So ...do we stay together for the kids? Or separate???
You might want to also see a counselor or something to talk this over with. It is nice to just have someone to listen. I would gather your complete thoughts, take a while to figure out how you truly feel, and then talk it over with your spouse. Making a rash decision would be a bad idea.
Or 2) separate slowly. Get a different bedroom, do things with the kids separately. Act like roommates. Then slowly find a second house and move out, with rooms for the kids also. So it's a slow change.
Those are just ideas. I really dont know. Everyone deserves to be happy. Sorry you're going though this.
You did your 'time' and it hasn't worked out ideally. Trial separation, open relationships (if you know what you're missing and want), and immediate divorce will all work for you, you just need to talk it out with your partner and pick one that works for you.
Maybe youll stir up his thoughts and he'll fight to relight the flame for you, proving that it's worth it. Talk it out. :)
Best of luck!