So, I've been doing some self-assessing lately, and I've come to realize that I become attracted to almost anyone.
It's like, I find the good trait in everyone, and that's the only thing I see?
It gets really frustrating because I can't hold relationships because I'd be prone to cheating (I think). So, I'm kind of wondering: Is it normal?
"I've got my morals but I'm out of control,
I fall in love with everyone in the world."
P.S. Don't just tell me that I should see someone about this.
It's like, I find the good trait in everyone, and that's the only thing I see?
It gets really frustrating because I can't hold relationships because I'd be prone to cheating (I think). So, I'm kind of wondering: Is it normal?
"I've got my morals but I'm out of control,
I fall in love with everyone in the world."
P.S. Don't just tell me that I should see someone about this.
"I find the good trait in everyone, and that's the only thing I see" Yes, its' normal to notice the good personality qualities someone has. You basically answered your own question.
I answered my question, but I don't understand it, fully. I get that I focus on the good stuff, but why? I despise people if I don't become attracted to them, or people that I shouldn't be (e.g. family members) so there's never really a gray area...I think I hate people deep down, but can't help my cursed hormones! Aghhh
I wish I was French, btw. I think France is sexy. Lol.
We were so in sync before and now that I'm actually going out without him, he's getting weird. BUT I CAN'T LET GO OF HIM and that's what pisses me off the most about our relationship. Obviously, I shouldn't be with him, but like I said in another reply to someone on here: I can't help my attraction towards him. It's ridiculously stupid. I don't even know WHY I like him this much if he treats me like a friend.
The thing is, with love, you see those inevitable flaws and still adore the pants off them anyway. Maybe you are stuck because you don't even give them a chance once you become familiar those flaws. By the way, every single one of us has flaws, even you, so you should get used to the idea that no one person will ever live up to a fantasy. Maybe your idea of a perfect mate needs to be tuned. If you let go of some of your expectations for people, you might start enjoying them more, even in general. One day you are going to meet someone who you will love so much that you'll awknowledge but look past those few flaws because to you they will be irrelevant. That's love.
I understand everyone has flaws, but my emotions towards people are always to the extreme. Would you know any way that I can calm it down and maybe be able to enjoy people without being attracted to them or hating them?
We are a small community, LOL.
It's normal to see the good in people, and probably good to focus on that. It's not normal to therefore be attracted to everyone. Usually attraction is based on more than just one positive trait.
"I can't hold relationships because I'd be prone to cheating (I think)"
This makes me think perhaps you haven't been in many relationships, or perhaps any? In which case your inexperience might be leading you to some incorrect conclusions. You might be mistaking attraction with affection?
Maybe your desire to be romantically involved with someone is overtaking your ability to see people objectively, and to judge your own feelings? i.e. you want to be with someone so badly that you've stopped caring so much about who that someone is?
I'm romantically involved with people. I know what it's like, and I don't think I like real romance. It creeps me out, so I'm normally very detached, until this one that I'm in at the moment. I've become too attached (compared to others, it doesn't seem like that much, but for someone like me, it's a LOT) and it's the one person that won't reciprocate. I mean, in sexual terms, he won't touch me! I could be lying naked in front of him (i'm not being conceited, but I do have a nice body) and he'll totally ignore that. Emotionally, if I'm sad or upset or having one of my crying fits, he won't comfort me; he won't even hug me when I most need it.
Aside from him, most other people pay attention to me. They shower me with affection and it's almost scary. So I dunno about it being the case where I'm wanting to be romantically involved with people...
"I'm far from lonely and it's all that I've got." I find this line (from a song) pretty acurate. YUCK.
If you havent then you have been able to at least hold back on your natural urges, which shows that you have discipline and self control.
Being this way is a good quality, its far better then being a cynical person. They are NO fun.
Besides if you are young then have some fun (within reason), plenty of time later in life to settle in and be boring.
I'm kind of stuck in a settlement with someone right now, and I want out so that I can still enjoy my youth, but at the same time, he is good for me. He keeps me grounded and mostly sober, but he feels more like a mother than a significant other...
If you are not a teenager, then... hm... then I wouldn't know what to do about it. If you feel like it's hindering you from leading a fulfilling life, you should see someone about this. I know you didn't want that answer, but that's all I've got. Sorry.
Well, I saw an interesting video about love at first sight earlier. It's only two minutes. I think this guy has an interesting view about it, so... maybe it helps you put things in perspective.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZsED4R5IfI
Hope this helps! If it doesn't... then enjoy your life of polygamy!
You know what? Polygamy is awesome. Don't watch the video, just keep doing what you're doing :D
Are you sure you're not just horny? There's nothing wrong with that. It's normal that you find a lot of people attractive.
And like you say, if you don't act on it, I can't see why it should jeopardize any relationships.
i've acted on it once while i was in a relationship. the guy i was with wasn't very great, and i was almost scared to have sex with him, so i got it somewhere else. i feel bad, but at the same time, i'm pretty sure he cheated on me, too. oh, what an ass.
although, because i'm flirtacious, i feel that i'd leave who i'm with because i miss being free and flirting with others. i have poor control. :(
If you really enjoy flirting that much then I can't see why you should stop doing it. Hell, you're in your early twenties. It's the perfect time in your life to fool around a little.
And don't be anxious about how this might prevent you from getting a relationship. If you happen to meet someone you can genuinely respect, instead of your last boyfriend... well, then cheating will be the last thing on your mind. :)
Judging by what you write here, I've got the feeling that you're not entirely happy with this person. (we respect each other to an extent, I'm a little sad,...)
You're just waiting for your relationship to improve. Now, I'm not an expert on this, but out of my personal experience... if your love for him is based on conditions you're hoping he'll fulfill later... then you're probably not in a good relationship.
Now, I don't have a full view of what your relationship is like, I'm just trying to make a judgement based on what you told me. Just the fact that you made this IIN post seems a clear sign that you're not living your life as you want to.
If you want to enjoy your youth, if you want to be free, then I suggest you do some serious thinking. You usually don't notice how crappy your relationship is until you end it. The longer a relationship has been going on, the harder it is to end it, and the more you'll regret you didn't end it sooner. And trust me, you don't want to wake up one day feeling like you've wasted your entire youth on one person.
So, based on what you told me, I'm in favor of going solo. But in the end, the decision is yours and yours alone. My view is biased by my personal experiences and by the limited information you gave me. Nevertheless, I hope I gave you some helpful advice.
Good luck!
i think we're too used to the live we have to officially break up yet. since we live together, i think we're trying to just confirm it completely that it's time to move on.
so, i think i'll give it until the end of the month before he moves out...
it hurts, a lot, i'll admit, but we are just two people trying to make something that just isn't right work.
Take care!
Told you I was weird!