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I'm attracted to older white men... Is that normal?
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I'm a 19 yr old muslim girl. I'm only sexually attracted to older white men like 40 or 50 years old. I can only get turned on if I think about a white man. I'm a virgin so I've never had sex. My fantasy is for a white man to teach me about sex in a practical way. I want to be "forced" (not sure if thats the right word) to do bad things like wearing slutty clothes, oral sex, and I know this is going to sound so wrong but I want to raped by a white man. Not really raped, but more like rough sex. I want to be treated like a xxxxx, get my hair pulled, spanked, etc. I've never done anything like this before and I would never ever think of doing this in real life. My first boyfriend was 48 and white but we didn't go further than kissing. In my culture its wrong to have sex before marriage. I have to have an arranged marriage to a muslim arab man. My parents would be so angry if they knew that I liked white men and they would literally kill me if they ever found out that I've kissed someone. So are my fantasies normal?
Is It Normal?
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Comments (5)
you can leave islam
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Your fantasies are very normal. I have similar fantasies haha! However if you have an arranged marriage, I don't know what you can do about that.
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I suspect that you are really a forty-something white man looking for a young burkha-clad binladin babe. If so, I have bad news, because they have a reputation for being the least virginal of Muslim girls. The burkha-cladding is an attempt to portray an innocence that is long-ago lost. My Muslim friends tell me that the the most virginal ones are usually the halfway ones, halfway between completely-covered and completely-westernised.
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I guess that all this feelings are because of your first boyfriend . i'm not blaming him or anything but when you had him you were a teenager and teenager hermones change so you were thinking about sex more and more and because he was white and old it makes you think like this now.
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It is very normal. You are probably attracted to them because you perceive them as more sexual, and in positions of power. In your culture, it's wrong for a woman to say she likes sex and does it because she wants to, so in order to remain a "good girl" and still have sex, you feel the need to have a man "make" you do it. The encounter with your first boyfriend might also have influenced that.

I think in a roundabout way you want more control over your sexuality. By handing your power to a dirty old white man, you can do things you previously weren't able to do because of your upbringing. If you do nothing, your sexuality will just end up controlled by a husband you didn't even get to pick.

I grew up in a much more permissive culture. I wear whatever I like, some of it very revealing, and I've given and received oral sex, hell, I've done it in the butt, but I don't think of myself as "dirty" or a slut, not at all. I think it's healthy that I can own my own sexuality and do whatever I want. I had sex as a life experience, to learn more about myself and express myself.

Normally, I would advise you to explore your sexuality and learn more about human sexuality, that sex isn't dirty or wrong, just a natural bodily function that it's okay to like and okay to have, but if you are in actual danger from your parents, that might not be a good idea. You could consider moving to a more permissive culture, perhaps as a student, but that's a pretty huge upheaval to make for some sexual fantasies. Then again, if you end up being married to this man, that's going to have a huge impact on your life. If that isn't the life you want, now's the time to act.

Whatever you do, be careful. I don't know what country you live in, so I don't know how prevalent violence against women is there, but I don't want anything bad to happen to you.
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