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I'm in love with a gay guy, and need some advice
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Okay, to make a long story short, i met this guy at a church function. he was really nice and funny, and we got along great. i found out he was gay, which was fine with me because i really wasn't "looking" for a date. we've continued to chat on the internet and we hung out the other day. he's the nicest guy i know and our personalities fit together well, so i can't help but want him. we were at the park, and he laid his head in my lap. i was running my fingers through his hair, and he didn't mind; in fact, he closed his eyes and kinda smiled. and then he asked to hold my hand. we held hands or linked arms or laid our heads on each other shoulders most of the evening. when i took him home, before he got out of the car, he kissed me on the cheek. we always tell each other we love each other, but it's always just been out of friendship. i know he's gay (he told me himself), but he seemed like he kinda liked me too. so now i'm confused. help please!
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Comments (46)
can really relate.. I feel the same way, since he sees the real me and believes in me.. sigh.. I wish I can just change the way I feel.. I know it's going nowhere
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hey there...
i think i knew what u felt right now.i'm in love with a gay guy right now.we've been together for almost 2 months now.i knew him as a gay, i really knew that he is.i knew that he have a boyfriend.to be precise i really know how gay he is.first thing that u should bare in mind,no guy are more romantic than a gay guy.they seems to have averything that we girl needed all this time.they're like a dream come true.my life is beautiful when i'm around him.he told me that he love me.we even talk about having a child.he introduced me to his friend.telling everyone that we're together.honestly,i'm happy and i don't care bout him being a gay.no worries, it's absolutely normal to fall in love with a gay guy.but it's very risky though.u have to be ready with all the consequences. my advice prepare yourself for the worst situation. u knew that he's a gay from the very beginning. if you're hurt later, it's totally not his fault.

please don't stop me from falling...
it's not love but it could be...

:)
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I registered here just to give you some advice.

Im gay, 29 years old and have thought many times of being with a girl for emotional satisfaction for the long term (ie marriage). But even if i do so, i will need other relationships with men in the course of the marriage to give physical fulfillment.

My advice to you is this: yes you can get married to him, yes you can have a ltr with him if thats what he also wants, but he must give you some kind of long term assurance and security. Whether it be a child or something, i dont know its between the two of u- i dont know if he wants a family or not.

But for you - you must understand this- if he comes across a man that he really falls in love with, what will happen to you and how will he balance life with you and this man? You must make all this clear. Most young guys are also not sure of what they want- he can promise you the stars right now with the right intention too but once he finds mr right and love hits, you could be out of the scene because the other guy may not and will not want you around.

I have so many gay friends - some married to women and have kids , others who have dated women etc. and have really seen most of these things. Really, keep him as a soulmate, maybe a companion for a later time if you both are still single till then OR if you think he has all the right qualities you seek in a man AND he wants a child (family), then you can marry him but you must remember that as much as you love him and dont want another guy, when he finds mr right you will be out or ignored for a long time. That would be very painful.

So either marry & have a child and see how things shape up - in this scenario if he finds mr right and wants you out, you must realize how you will live as a single mother with another hetrosexual companion.
OR
Keep him as a soulmate till you both are much older and in the meanwhile try finding a hetro guy for yourself- you will be more satisfied with this situation physically and mentally too!

Hope this was helpful--- dont loose hope- you can do both but you must realize the pro's and con's of these situations-
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@: cv2011
When I read this I choked because I am married to a gay guy!, Is super hard. And everything you wrote seems to be the story of my life. I thought I could do it, but I realized I am draining myself. I am Inlove with a guy who won't be able to love me back the way I want him to. The question here is..How do I get over him and move on?
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@: cv2011
wow, that is great advice. you really inspired me, as im in a similer situation with the guy i like :)
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I am in quite the similar situation. They seem to just do things that make it seem like they like you. It's completely... I don't know.
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There is no reason you can't have a close and loving relationship with someone without it being sexual.
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well, i am gay, and i have a girlfriend....

yes, it is very weird for me....

i am going out with her, because we are a perfect match and i love her; not for her gender, but for her personality
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would it be possible to ask you a question in private?
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OMG I LOVE A GAY GUY ASWELL EVERYONE TELLS HIM WE SHOULD GET MARRIED BUT HE ALWAYS SAYS NO BUT I REALLY THINK WE SHOULD BECAUSE THERES NOONE THAT WILL LOVE HIM THE WAY I DO ILL DIE FOR HIM AND HE SAYS THE SAME THING ABOUT ME BUT HE DOESNT WANT TO GET TOGETHER WITH ME IS NO THAT AM SELF FISH IS THAT I THINK ITS FOR OUR HAPPINESS BUT I GUESS HIS THE ONLY ONE THATS SELF FISH I KNOW ONE DAY HE WILL RELIZE THAT EVERYTHING EVERYONE TOLD HIM AND THAT I TOLD HIM WAS TRUE I DONT MIND WAITING FOR HIM I DONT CARE IF WE DONT HAVE SEX I ONLY WANT TO BE WITH HIM FORVER IVE NEVERED LOVE ANYONE LIKE I LOVE HIM I TIRED EVERYIHING WE EVEN STOPED TALKING LIKE FOR 6 MONTHS I COULD LIVE EAITHER DID HE BUT HE PLAYS IT OFF LIKE IF HE DID I KNOW HE WENT THREW HELL THE I DID AND SOMETIMES HE CANT EVEN RESIST IN KISSING ME SO HE DOES AND THEN HE LIKE I LOVE U YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND MY SISTER MY ALL AND THEN I FEEL LIKE SHIT CAUSE I WISH THAT KISS WAS SOMETHING ELSE BUT AT THIS POINT MAYBE HIS GETTING SONFUSED I TELL HIM YOU DONT NEED TO BE GAY FOR A GIRL TO LOVE ANOTHER GIRL OR A GUY FALL IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER GUY OR A GAU GIRL TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A MAN OR A MAN FALL IN LOVE WITH A GIRL WHICH THATS YOUR CASE . AND HE JUST THINKS TO HIMSELF AND I KNOW WHAT HIS THINKING THAT MAYBE WE SHOULD BUT I THINKS HIS SO SCARED FOR PEOPLE TO JUDGE HIM AND ME I DONT CARE WHAT THEY CAN SAY ABOUT ME I LOVE HIM AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS ..
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I know how you feel. And to all the bible humpers, STFU! Nobody cares what you have to say. So, either be nice or bug off. And to you, Hun. I'm dating a gay guy. And I'm a girl. He is still gay..or as he puts it "Kittysexual." I love him alot and that'll never change. Just remember, nothing is impossible. So, talk to him about it. The worst that can happen is he'll say he doesn't feel the same way. Then gently kiss his cheek and tell him you understand. But, always be there to cheer him up if he is sad. Maybe one day he'll kiss you.
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His being so affectionate, which is what you seem to like about him, is probably because he is gay. I don't know for sure, but I would imagine that this is what makes many women like gay guys so much. Most women accept the fact that the guy is gay, however, and manage not to let themselves fall for the guy, which is what seems to have happened to you. Sorry playa, but I would think that it is just not in the cards.
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im honestly going through the same thing.. as we speak. i wanted to see if it was normal also because it seems totally weird and i feel helpless. my friend is gay. but he s]was straight and had a girlfriend all throughout high school. then once graduated he turns gay, and e start to hang out and become close. we kissed, cuddled, movie nights, sing alongs in the car.. etc. told eachother we loved eachother and went out on dinner dates and even went to gay clubs together. ive seen him with his current boyfriend and his other gay friends. i wish he wouldnt have messed with my head. sucks, but i just have to get over it. at least i know he will be a friend for life, even though he can be a drama queen sometimes ;)
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and sadly i have the same problem.. :/
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I know what you are going through. The guy that I am in love with was not gay when I had first met him in Job Corps. I recently reconnected with him and fell instantly in love with him. He is beautiful inside and out. I hate that I feel the way I do but I do... So my suggestion to you is he is gay and he will always be gay.. Love him, but dont let yourself be disappointed when he starts to love another... Keep your shields up... Love yourself!
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try and turn him bi... then fuck his brains out
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He's gay, that's just the way it is. I've seen similar situations before. You just need to move on. I was friends with a gay guy in high school, and he and one of our mutual female friends were very close, to the point where before I knew his orientation I thought they might be dating.
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cabinet70
If he is gay then he is gay he just wants to be your friend thats all
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Sweetheart, He is gay. If you cannot accept being friends only, stop spending so much time with him. HE IS GAY. Pretend, when you are holding hands or kissing him, that he is your sister because I assure you, that is what he is thinking.
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@: dootie
ouch!
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i believe i've told you more than once mcfly, that no doctor could possibly ever say stuff like that. he is gay, and i love him for it. i'm bi, so what are you gonna try to do to me? push me off a building to see if i'll fly? no more suggestions from you thanks.
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I've been in love with a gay guy for four years now. Almost five. I'm also his fag hag so yea fml
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Listen, I am 50 and i am going through what you are going through now after my long marraige ended in divorce! Let me tell you it is NOT any easier now . And not enough will change for you to be with him when he is 60, BELIEVE ME. I wish i did not love my gay buddy so much or i would dump him after what he has put me through. And that is with me not agreeing to live with him , or try sex with him. Listen i adore this man. Immensely. So much we both ( him first) admitted we cannot stop thinking of each other all day. And it isnt sexual . Its a deep bond, many levels of connecting. More than i have ever had with another man. Yet i know it wont work. I love him so much i would never be ok with him cheating on me with men. Its sad but such is life and you must move on now. You cannot stay this close as platonic friends now either. Which is what through me a loop. As i thought of him as never a worry as he doesnt even like female body parts as he told me and only male. But still if you are attracted and bond so well in other ways it can eventually make its way into sexual thoughts. He expressed to me wanting to change and like women. But to actually do that? Is so tough. I hear at least as i have asked due to our feelings. So friends after these feelings? Well at least for us we have never been to rekindle that beautiful platonic friendship we had for 4 years. Not even two years after our big blow up summer where he verbally asked me to marry, to date, to try being intimate, and much more in one summer. We have tried many times since then and we just cant be close. So i wouldnt even count on at least having that either. Just be grateful for the good things he brought to your life. and I have to love him from afar and miss him dearly
even if i a man is gay? there is that male / female attraction going on a little even in a gay man. if the bond between the two is sooooo close things can happen. but that doesnt mean good outcomes. most likely not at all .
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As for you sweetheat, look he's gay. I get affectionate with my female friends, We kiss cuddle, hold hands, and dance in inappropriate ways. It's becuase we feel absolutley comfortable with each other. We know that neither of us could expect anymore than friendship and everything we do is just for the fun of it, not because we feel lovey dovey.
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yea i lost my virginity to a boy who was gay. it's been 2 years since he moved away and i'm still in love with him ..
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I also think I am falling fast and rather deeply in love with a married and gay guy. He knows. I told him. All he told me is that he will always love me but he will always be gay.
I know what he means. He loves me like a best friend.. Maybe even like a sister.
But the point is, he's gay. We can't change them. We just have to get over them I suppose..
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But he may just be confused. Is he really gay or does he just think he is? Age may play a factor here, as well as being religious may make him try to be straight. Learn more about it before coming to any concrete conclusions.
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greengal
tell him about itbut make it sound like its not true.hell i think u might turn a gay guy straight!
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Have you stuck your finger up his bum? That's how I found out my boyfriend was gay...he liked it so much he dated the superintendent.
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only gays are gay so if ur gay it means you are gay
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Maybe he tought you were a boy.
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he said he was gay so he could bang you
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this comentarie has nothing to see with the problem of the girl , it is not relationed with the disyuntive of accept him or not.-
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i refer to sunset
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and for the person that want to know about his friend gay, why dont ask yourself ¿what do you want for the rest of your life?could you support him beenig a gay?
in addition: you have to investigate what does he wants, ---LIke a friend ship is well but like couple for all life will be problematic, womens are posesive and dont want share nothign
that belongs once they get merriage.-
YOu have to analyze it very well, and must think what kind of union do you want with him,¿free union? marriage?for haw long will be that?
The other aspect: what kind of sexual relation could you have with him?
For solve a problem you have to make many questions and finely arrive to a solution.-
Do it , and be honest with him but mostly with yourself.
You have the answer, and hope you get it.-
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What if he insisted that he isn't gay? But everyone else said he is and you do see his gayness from time to time... This happens to me and I am so confused!
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i signed it just to comment here because i have the same problem..Well,this is how it goes,i became friends with this irresistible,charming,cute guy,and it is when i knew he is gay we became closer coz i assumed i will never fall in love with someone gay..and how stupid of me!!He told me i am his soul mate and if he was straight he will love me forever til death do as apart,he looks at me in a way i believe he is so in love with me,i go with him to gay places,know his ex-boyfriends,we tell each other everything..we are very close.and what is bothering me is that he is not gay in looks or acts at all.on the contrary he is so manly,and that is what i love about him.I know i am the only girl he has feelings for,he already said that indirectly to me.So,now we are not close as before and he says the reason is because i told him i love him and he can't love me back the way i want!!But guys,i am so in love with him!!i just can't be in a relationship with another guy coz i keep comparing..i need a solution,,if it is only sexual desire he has about being gay,,can there be a cure??(though he refuses to change and other times he says he wants to try something with a girl..maybe he wants sex with me?i need to know the solution please help!!
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hey.. i do have a same problem.., i love a guy who told me that he is gay but m so much in love with him that i cared a lot and look after each n every thing of his but he said that too much care makes him sick, he got irritated due to my caring behaviour.but i can't resist that, we had too much fight on this ... i simply dnt understand that m liking him so much.. and m so much confused that is there any future possibility of this kind of relationship....??
need help..!!! i think a gay guy can better explain about this and can help better through this kind of situation .. so plzz help...
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I know the feeling pretty well.. I was in love with a guy for 3 years and in the end he turned out gay. It was really painful because I had always thought that we would be together someday, but when he said he was gay i was crushed. I learned to get over it though and it wasn't painful anymore. Hes still a very close friend of mine and he loves me to bits, even if its not the same way I want him to love me. I admit that I'm still very much in love with him, but i know that our relationship isn't going anywhere. I'm honestly just happy to be by his side. Just as long as we stay friends, I'm really happy.
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Oh my, I can relate to your case... im telling you, you gotta stop hoping that he will like you the way you wanted. Its really hard to let him go but you have to or else you'll get hurt over & over.
I was once like u, believe me its hurtful..
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Im 17 and when i was in primary 5 i fell for a friend of a friend we never got together but stayed gs friends in second year he said he was gay im in 6th year nw and i still love him i would go with him in a heartbeat he is always on my mind its bn 8 years nw and it hasnt lessend or faded pls help x
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Ok here goes i was in primary 5 when a friend of a friend moved to the school i fell for him instantly we grew close as friends and in 2nd year he told us he was gay its bn 8 years since i first fell 4 him and those feelings are the same as tht first day, i feel more attracted to him emotionally tht sexually i dnt imagine doing it with him jst being in his arms is enough it hurts to love him but i dnt know what i can do to change it pls help x
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Thats funny, cuase your sn,i assume comes from the naruto character. Did you know naruto is classifed as a shonen ai? Which means it has homosexual subtext. So shut the fuck up.
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i think perhaps you should learn to spell before telling me what is sinful. btw, i'm atheist, so why should i be bothered?
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You met a gay guy at a church function? What was he doing there?
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sunset!!! shut the fuck up!!
i actually believe you are delusional because you
constantly contradict yourself and you are just seeking attention


get some treatment or shut up and die
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