I don't know if this is normal, but recently, I got really attached to my best friend. Even though I don't like admitting it to other people, it's painfully obvious that I have feelings for her. I love her and I would do anything to make her happy. I'm too shy to tell and even then, I don't want to put our friendship in jeopardy. Is it normal at all to have these kinds of feelings for my best friend?
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Last year, as I was thinking about how happy I would be for her to find the man of her dreams, I felt a tinge of sadness. I am by no means a jealous person so I wondered what the source was. That thought quickly led to a physical reaction: a huge knot in my stomach that I couldn't get rid of. This led me to the realization that I would be happier being that special person for her for the rest of our lives. After wrestling with my feelings for a week and making sure that I was really in love, I called her and confessed my newfound discovery. I say discovery because to be honest, I had probably been in love for at least some time before I had been aware and certainly before I admitted that to myself. Even though we always had a clear and honest channel of communication, when I told her of my feelings as soon as I became aware of them, she admitted to having had similar thoughts just a few months earlier. She said ironically that she thought "I was too good to fall for a girl like her". We re-evaluated our feelings for one another as privately as possible and came to the best decision I could have hoped for. Since we had such a solid foundation of friendship, things progressed rapidly and talk about marriage was not far behind. I consider myself the luckiest guy in the world and couldn't be happier for the way things turned out.
During my week of agony, the key motivating factor was that I couldn't live with the regret of possibly missing out on the most amazing romantic journey with the girl I knew was right for me. Could my decision have affected our friendship? Of course. But I felt that we had such a solid foundation that we could move past my revelation no matter how difficult. I (perhaps naively) figured I could easily put her happiness above mine; I'd rather have her find someone she loves even if it meant me losing out on the love of my life. Good luck to all of you wrestling with this difficult decision - hope it turns out for the best but there's no way of knowing until you put it out there at some point in time.
But it never happened. I think it was the time that ruined it all, now she's dating another guy and I couldn't stand it so told her the truth....terrible choice......
Now... she is distant, its not the same....feels like everything is lost...
And I miss her... it hurts me that we can't be friends anymore, not because we don't want to, but because everything has changed, and neither I or her can do something about it...
I miss the hugs
I miss the kisses
I miss the laughs
I miss the moments we could spend toghether
I miss her trust, now she whispers because she doesn't wants me to know
I miss the talks, we could spend HOURS talking, but now... we haven't had a conversation that lasts more than 3 minutes
I can´t stand to see her phone and see that the other guy now receives most of her calls
I miss that I don't get anymore calls from her
I miss those fights we had because I sometimes didn't answer my phone because I was training, eating or simply cause I didn't heard it ring... and the way we always ended seeing each other the next day in school, and ran at each other, hug each other and promise we would never fight again... even though it was like the 15th time.
Our plans, our "dates" we had because one of us had broke with its girlfriend or boyfriend, and that being with them was the only way to get over those relationships.
I don't know if she loved me once, all I know is that it took me too much time to tell her.
I put some serious thought into it for almost a month, and when I finally told her... she did't respond... and the next day I discovered that she had already started a relationship. I feel like sh**!! But it was the wrong moment...and it all went straight to hell.
So my advice is: yes it is normal, but you've got to tell her in the right moment, because.. the moment is everything man, I learned that the hard way.
Luck to you all if you face the same situation
As we both agreed to not get involved with each other and to just stay friends so we can hang onto the best friendship that either one of have ever had, it really caused us to drift apart. We spent less and less time together over the next few years and eventually we stopped talking to each other altogether.
The drifting in our relationship came from the fact that I couldn't stand to see her with anyone else, and as I began to see other women I couldn't stand for her to see me with anyone else.
a decade later, she and I catch up, and the feelings are confessed ALL OVER AGAIN (mutually), and we again agree that we shouldn't do anything right now... Which puts me back into the same position I was when we were much younger, except now that we are older, I feel like I am taking it a bit more seriously. After every mistake I have made in every relationship I have ever been in, I am beginning to see what is the most important to me, and it hurts knowing that it all could be part of my own pipedream.
She has asked me about my past relationships and if there is ever any chance of those being mended, and I couldn't come up with the words to say that those relationships didn't work because the others just weren't enough like you, while sounding believable.
If the feelings are there for you and for her, and they are genuine, you will drift apart unless you work on becoming a couple. From what I understand, it will be the most rewarding relationship ever... I can only imagine. If you're crazy in love with someone, you will not be able to just sit back and not tell them, not want to be a part of their life, and not care if they are with someone else. If you can do all those things, then you are probably not in love with that person in the first place.
I lost out in the past and I attribute it to my timing. I was too afraid in the past to ever speak up in fear of having the relationship drift apart because of it, unaware that it was going to happen anyway.
If I could do it all differently, I would.
So here I am. 30 years old and still regretting not taking that chance when the outcome was the same as what I expected it to be if I had.
My advice to you is to go for it. Don't be another me. It sucks balls. :D
Hope I've helped.
We speak for 5 hours every day.
Do guys who want just a friendship do this?
I don't want to ruin anything because I can't live without him.
I nearly died trying a couple of years ago...
He makes me laugh when I think I will never smile again.
He listens when I fear I am all alone.
I love him.
1: if you guys are that good of friends you can recover from any kind of relationship if it goes bad while remaining friends. and if you are not that good of friends, well then who cares lol
2: the best, longest lasting relationships are formed from strong friendships
3: im not just talking out of my (expletive), im actually madly in love with my girlfriend, who was and still is my best friend. i have never been more happy with a woman than i am with her, and BELIEVE me, ive been with a lot of other women.
Moral of the story: Go for it! it could end up being the best thing you ever did, or it could not, but i assure you it definately wont be the worst thing! =-)
Carpe Diem
Good Luck
Just saying, no guy stays up all night to talk to a girl their not in love with.
My sources? Im a guy
Yeah, this truly sucks :(
he told me he didnt feel the same
but over two years past i stopped feeling that way for him
where closer then ever now
hes the first guy what my dad loves
first guy my older and younger brothers love
and my mom thinks we'd be forever
we act like were dating
we argue like were dating we make up like nothing happened
i havnt had a boy friend in 2 years and i told him i dont want one
i spend almost every night at his house during weekends and summers
we sleep in the same bed
even if he drank him self silly he still respects my wishes
but my wishes are now different
i want him and only him
but i dont want to tell him
not now
so im going to let nature take its cource if something happens
it will happen
and then we will talk about our relation ship and see were it goes
i dont know when that may be but
we willl be best friends forever
together or not
i will still love him in every way
forever.
I was putting off doing anything for ages out of nerves, but am now really glad I told her. :)
but i cant help but feel how i feel. we tell each other everything and have no secrets between each other. but when the fact tat i am inlove wit her is in the open it causes lots of tension she dun feel the way i do. she has never had a good bf, always hurt her, beat her, cheated. and i just tried to show her there is some good guys out there, i was always there for her when she was down, and when she needed help. i always gave er compliments and tried as hard as i could to prove to her that shed be happy wit me, but it wasnt enough. or maybe i did/said too much. so lately with our tension we get into big arguements and get really mad at each other and i dunno what to do. the only way i could ever et over er is to drive her away and cut her off completely. but when i dun see her for even a few days im miserable. and yesterday i had the thought of doing so, until i read this page it totally changed my perspective and made me realise that the friendship is better than nothing. ill always love her and always have hope
Despite popular opinion, your friendship with her is already over, due to your new feelings. Don't worry about maintaining the friendship afterwards, if it doesn't work. It's because it won't work and it never has and never will for anyone. Anyone who tells you differently is lying to you. Your new feelings for her will either blossom into a relationship or die, it's that simple. The quicker you come to this conclusion the quicker you can get on with your new relationship or your recovery from the rejection.
Being friends and having feelings just doesnt work. If you like her/him, go for it, because if you don't it will just eat away at you. I've been there, its not worth it, because you could get trapped into a pretty sorry state for a long time, its soul destroying. Especially to see the person eventually get a partner when you're stuck in the same old mindset. The only problem is you probably wont listen to anyones advice, and eventually, your situation could ruin you; but then you'll never put yourself in the position again. You'll never learn anything real from some website full of other peoples experiences, what people say here is completely related to themselves when your circumstances are probably totally different. Go out and make mistakes! And if you think it was all worth it, then fuckin make them all again. If you are actually in love with the person then you should bite the bullet and at least find out if it would have worked or not.
im the girl, that's why it's awkward to tell him that i do love him, but i'll get the timing so that i could tell him what i do feel, but the catch here is that your the boy so it must be your move, you should tell her before its too late , you dont know she might love you too...but, you must be ready for the consequences .
I love my best friend. At the beginning I was chasing after her, but I gave up in the middle because she couldn't get over her ex, so I find myself another girlfriend. It was then we became best friend. My relationship the other girl didn't last long and I broke up and it took me sometime to forget bout that girl. Now I found my self in love my best friend again.
When I confessed to her, she said she considered me only as her best friend and she said if I confessed to her before went out with the other girl, she would've accept me. So I hugged her and even kissed her on the lips, she shows only a little rejection. She even said that she might even regret it rejecting me. But she still said no.
At first I was planning on ending this friendship if she were to reject me.
But she's just too precious for me and because she didn't avoid me at all,only show little rejection and saying that she might regret it, making me unable to give up on her yet and continue to fight on knowing I have a very small chance.
But I don't know if I'm doing the right thing..
When I left to go back to the place I was now living we texted a little bit but due to busy schedules it was hard to really talk. Our relationship became to fade more and more then we didn't talk at all. Then I sent him a message a couple weeks before I was going back there for a visit. We starting talking every night, and realized we'd both lost each others numbers. The day that I was driving up there he texted me. I stayed in that town with friends for a week. He and I trying to find every chance to see each other.
We knew right away that we had strong feelings for each other, and that after a week of talking we wanted to be together. The day that I was leaving he woke up early to go over to my best friends house to just sit and talk with me on the porch since no boys were aloud in her house when her parents weren't home. We talked for 3 hours and then he kissed me. Not to sound corny or anything, but it was honestly the best kiss I've ever had. The way I felt kissing him was different from any other guy that I had ever kissed, and will ever kiss.
We started dating that day, even though we lived five hours apart, and didn't know the next time that we would see each other. Not like we had much of a choice, but we took things really slow. It took us four months to tell each other that we loved each other even though we had both known since the beginning.
Then sadly nine months later we broke up. The distance became too much. For a while our realtionship was hard. We couldn't stop talking to each other but we needed to be able to take a break. It was really hard for us not to talk to each other to the point we began to resent our realtionship because we wanted each other so bad but due to family and friends we couldn't. After a while of taking a break from communication we're finally able to talk again non stop.
He's my best friend I'm truly in love with him. Both of us have everything that we ever gave each other because we knew that it would be stupid to get rid of them because we would be back together. I'm going to marry that boy some day. They say that friendship ends in love, but love never ends in friendship. I disagree. I think if the love is truly there your friendship will grow forever.
You're not wrong for being in love with your best friend. There's a reason there your best friend it's because you have such a deep connection, it would be impossible to not be in love.
Does she always fone yhoo up first to ask yhoo about problems? Does she even fone yhoo at all?
If the answers to these questions are all yes then i think its safe to say that you are in for a yes if you ask her out.
but if one answer is no then I strongly advise yhoo to not ask her out!!
Jorsha XxxX
you, not yhoo. good god.
I'm gunna talk from experience, cuz i like to share things, it might be a lil different cuz im a girl, and im guessing your a boy.
Well, one of my best friends atm is a boy, and he's told me he loves me, and i've let down another pretty nice boy who liked me and he was really upset, and this boy who was my best friend is being so nice saying i can have as much time as i want, he really is being so nice, and this makes me wanna get there faster. buuh i will get with him eventully he's really nice. And hey all girls love boys that can be there best friends as well as the one they care about and love the most.
So my advice to you is this girl will love the fact that she can have a best friend and a boy to care about so much at the same time, and if you are amazingly nice and caring, i've got to say unlike most boys, you will still be best friends even if it doesn't work out in the end, even if it takes time, just be patient and don't push the girl, if she keeps mentioning it again and again then this means she wants you to tell her you do love her just to reasure her when she's thinking of what to answer, girls like the reasurance every so often even when your going out with them.
Might be a bit confusing, but us girls can be hard to please. Playing hard to get is are way of finding out how much you do love us, expecially if they've been let down before.
Hope this helped, kinda confusing like i said.
Loveyaah'z. x
issn't it rubbish that there is no answer to our questions.
my friend's in love with someone else, it hurts when im with her so im now thinking whats the point in remaining friends if even that hurts. she met and is now with this other guy, she really loves him. me and her have gotten very close in the past ive known her for a long time and its been an up and down friendship beacuse of my feelings. she's always been kinda vague about her feeling to me.
Is it wrong to tell another guy's gal that you love her?
i might tell her, run for the hills and leave it all to fate. eeergh :(
Remember these words: Live For the Moment
I am 21 now, but I first saw the object of my affections when I was 14. There was no doubt that I wanted to get to know her, but I was way too inscure and shy to say anything to such a gorgeous young girl. And she was in the enrichment program at my highschool, so she was a lot smarter than me too!
Well a couple years passed, and to my surprise at the age of 16 I entered by new history class and found her sitting in the seat behind me! As it turned out we had a mutual friend (who I originally had a crush on! But it quickly faded once I met 'her'). We quickly became good friends. I wanted to lose weight and become attractive so she might find me that much more appealing, so I started going to the gym regularly. A trend which I have continued with throughout university and have lost upwards of 60 pounds from my highschool days (just one of the countless postive ways in which she has improved my life by doing nothing more than simply being in it)!
She revealed to me that her father had been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and he passed away later that summer. I did as much as I could at the time to help her, but I was so inexperienced at such things I just didn't know how. I still regret not being there more for her. To hold her, but again, I was a stupid coward--a very regretful combination. Still I helped in my way and I've never been more proud of anything than of how strong she was.
She didn't miss a beat and as depressed and lonely as she still felt, she attended her first year of university. I went to a different school (again, one which had lower standards because I didn't think I was intelligent enough) but we stayed as close as we could, and we slowly grew even closer. Later that year she started talking about a boy that she got drunk with that stayed in her room sometimes. *Siiiigh* Well, someone was BOUND to nab such a perfect girl eventually. Besides she deserved someone that could be physically there for her, and I was thankful for him because he made her happy and he helped her a lot. I really do just want her to be happy.
The summer came and we reunited back at home, growing closer still! She confided in me more and more. But she still had a boyfriend and I knew I couldn't switch schools on a whim for her in that situation. In short order I got a girlfriend myself. Barely. I had just met this girl at work and she admitted she had a crush on me. I told her I wasn't sure if I was over "someone else" (I insisted on being non-descript to avoid overt awkardness), but then thought that I'd be doomed if I didn't at least try to find someone else. So I did. No sparks with this girldriend though, and everytime I was with my girlfriend I almost felt like I was cheating on my bestfriend! Needless to say it didn't last all that long.
We all returned to our respective schools for second year. I fell into a deep depression in my second year, and lost a lot of the progress I had made in my weight loss because of binging to relieve stress and depression (pro tip: don't fucking do that!). I couldn't pinpoint the source of my depression though! Everything else was going well. I loved my classes and I was actually getting smarter! I eventually came to the conclusion that I was lonely, but continued to the fact that I simply didn't have my best friend around anymore; the person I loved most.
I felt twinges of pain as she would describe how he would fall asleep on the phone, or simply not phone at all. Or wouldn't say anything when she needed him to. Things I had wanted and fantasized about doing for the past 3 years, and yet he failed completely at even the most rudimentary ability to carry them out! How could he refuse to drive 2 hours to see her, when I would travel half the planet just to see her smile, if she would just tell me she needed me. The unfairness cut me deep. Still I told her it would all be okay, that I was there for her, and that I was sure he would get better (I think I needed to believe it just as much as her!).
But nothing prepared me for that following September when school started again. As much as she had depended on me, I had depended on her. My beliefs, my mind, and my perceptions about society and reality were changing. I had trouble finding meaning in life, but she helped me through it all. We spent so much time together, I realized I had almost deluded myself into thinking we were actually some kind of pseudo-couple. I got a bucket of cold water in my face when she returned to school, and as soon as her and her bf were back in close proximity, she didn't need me anymore. We were still just as close as we had been, but I was hurting. I would wait for hours just staring at the MSN symbol, waiting for her to sign on, but she rarely did.
I became committed to forgetting about her. I developed orchestrated crushes on other girls in my classes. I actively tried to forget about her and my feelings for her. It became such a contradiction between my action and my desire, that I developed a quite physical reaction when I thought about her, or heard from her. It was amplified when I spent prolongued periods of time around her. I recall at New Years my friends crashed at my place and I slept beside her on the floor. I layed awake all night, tormented by the fact that I couldn't put my arm around her, or feel her gorgeous hair, or kiss her neck. It was an unpleasant shivering all over my skin if I so much as thought about her in the 'wrong' way.
And so I found myself here. I am at a cross roads. I am trying to plan my next course of action, but if there is one thing I've learned from my experiences, it is that inaction is the root. I didn't ask her to prom. I didn't drive my ass to her home when her father was sick. I didn't try to visit her at her university due to distance, and the simple fact that when I see her bf my vision goes red. I write a lot. There are dozens and dozens of pages of letters, monologues, one-liners, scenarios I wish had/would happen/ed. A thousand beautiful things that have never existed outside of my mind. And you know what? Fuck it.
If the pain of rejection is ANYTHING like the pain of stagnation, or even if it's worse, then at least it is a change of pace. I'm terrified. I'm terrified she'll look at me like I'm stupid or crazy. That she'll doubt my sincerity. I'm terrified she'll storm away from me if I try to explain. I'm so irrationally scared of so many things I know she wont do. But I'm more scared of carrying these thoughts and feelings around alone, and I'm more afraid of trying to get into another relationship, while knowing already that I would want it to end. I'm afraid that if she breaks up with her boyfriend she would still want him. I'm afraid I'd never be able to console her and she'd never want to be with me.
I am going to tell her, one way or another, that I miss her all the time. That she is so insanely important to me that I'd do anything for her, and it kills me to see her in pain yet to not be 'allowed' to hold her or tell her that she's the most perfect thing in the world to me, or tell her how much I need her, and how much I wish she needed me, and how great we could be together.
Frankly, my love and my friendship for her have been so tightly rolled into the same package for so long, than I think the two are hopelessly intertwined, and I can't lose one without the other. I'm not actually convinced there was ever a time when I was or wanted to be JUST her friend. She was the first girl that made me feel like someone cared whether I lived or died, and she's the first girl that I would do anything for. She's more than my best friend. She's my best person.
I don't want hope. Hope is what put me in this situation. I hoped the moment would arise. I hoped I would find a way. I hoped I would find the courage to ask her to prom. I hoped she would magically tell ME that SHE wanted to be with me. I hoped that all the pieces would just fall together. Now I know they either will or wont, with no intervention from hope. I don't need hope, I need the stagnation to end. I need the feelings on the inside of me, on the outside of me. I can't do it alone anymore and I know I'm worth it.
And that is what I want to say to everyone going through the same thing. We're all worth it, because love doesn't deserve to consume you from the inside out. It deserves to be known, no matter the outcome. I'm going to give it to her, and she can either destroy me, or build me up in whatever way she pleases. It is only befitting, since she had such a pivotal role in creating the man I am today, and I trust her with everything, whatever she eventually chooses.
Good luck to everyone who knows the truth that it is NOT the worst thing in the world to know that your bestfriend loves you!
One night in the summer of 2010 we got drunk and kissed again and felt absolutely nothing and laughed and joked about it because we´re such good friends. One time over that summer we slept together in the same bed and cuddled. It was nice. I was happy that I could have a friend like that. Great girl.
In February this year she was on a date with some dude and I went out with them. The guy went home and she stayed out with me. She started complaining about how all he was doing was trying to get into her pants. Then after a string of compliments she kissed me. But she was drunk. A few weeks later I met a girl and I got really close.
My friend (we´ll call her Lucy), was still hanging with me and this girlfriend didn´t like it at all. Any time I had trouble with the relationship Lucy was always there to help. She´s an arts student so at one point she even made me a ceramic frame as a gift to give that girlfriend. That girlfriend dumped me after spending a lot of money to visit her when she was working abroad. She had also cheated on me several times and left me feeling like a right spare t*t. Lucy was there to comfort me.
Over the summer me and Lucy got really close. Spent most of the week together. Got to know each other even better. One night we got really drunk and told each other how we felt about being a couple. We woke up beside each other the following morning severely hungover and really happy. Walked her over to her grandmother´s holding hands and she went home. Within a couple of days, she started having regrets. I didn´t really want things to start like that myself but not much you can do when it had already happened.
A couple of days later we decided to call it quits and just be friends. She stayed in my bed and we watched movies together and stuff but it went no further than that. I was still satisfied.
i'm sorry for my mistakes...my english it's not so good.
but this happened only once for me and prior to that i had lost 4 best chick friends cuz i gained feelings for them. so it's some luck and mostly charm. and finding the right girl. good luck
but we did text eachother the weekends. however i was extremely stressed- i loved her, she doesnt believe in love, i didnt want to loose my closest friend, she was going to a different college, i might loose her anyway. so after 2 months (feburary) i told her i loved her, however she couldnt understand why i told her, how i could develope these feelings so fast, and wished i didnt tell her, as i "know more then anyone how fucked up" she was. i confessed my feelings in text as we never spoke in person. she needed time.
a week later she text me saying its too awkward to be friends, we spoke about it and she didnt know if we could still be friends.but over a couple of weeks we're friends again. now (march) we're even closer, we ocasionaly talk at school briefly, and the other day i invited her to a concert of her favourite comedian/musician. she said she would love to go, but not sure if she can. im expecting a responce by tommoro.
i dont know how we're gonna end up. i mean i still love her, and keeping it inside might be what is dpressing me, and why therapy isnt helping. on the other hand we completely trust eachother, comfort eachother, and are there for eachother, and im the only one who is able to talk her out of suicide.may be she'll like m back, but right now she doesnt believe in love. right now she needs a friend, and thats what ill be. honest to god shes my only reason i dont jump off a bridge myself.hows that for messed up?
your grl,
jaybow :)
since last year
its so hard, and the most confusing part to me is that he treats me really well
we hook up and everything but we never actually talked about it honestly and we never know what might happen
i wish i can just know . i dont know if i should say anything to him or just skip it
if my best friend told me he loved me it would totally make me so happy.... I'd say go for it, tell her :)
We had just talked recently about us, and if we ever dated and we both didn't want to mess things up. But the truth is the best relationships come from friendships. The reason why some mess the friendships up is because they aren't close enough in the beginning.I trust my best friend more than i trust my boyfriend of 5 months.
we're still friends but im always depressed. it sucks.
i say tell her. but be prepared just incase she doesnt feel the same..
i wish you all the best and hope you get from her, what i had wanted.
my girlfriend saw some pictures of us together...
grabing my hands and making fun on me..
my GF got jealos...sometimes makes a start of a not nice conversation..
but before..we slept together but not made anything like gf and Bf do...
but im sill in a hunging position weather is it love or just friendship shes having in me. i dont know how to start a conversation with her to make my head clear..but years before we kissed..but since then we never spoke of anything like feelings of us was true.
It felt so good to get the feeling of bottled emotions off my chest
She admitted we would be a fantastic couple
However due to her dating a friend of mine about a year ago (things with him aren't the same) she doesnt not want to loose me as her best friend.
This is true it would be a big hit to loose her.
Although i think alot of people on here don't think that they may just not be attracted to you? It's what I believe to be the case here.
Also girls being notoriously hard to please know when the right thing shows its head, yet they don't like taking the risk and going for it
I cant see myself getting over this in the near future
I wish everyone who hasn't confronted their best friend the best of luck and any others who are reading this
May it go better for you :) x
Messing up friendship with love...really really hurtful stuff
THINGS HAPPEN.
These past few days have been great for me.
You just never know, and its just a risk you can take.
Best of luck ;)
After vacation we were better friends than ever, she was always so happy to see me, until one point she asked me to kiss her again and told me she'd been thinking about me all summer. I knew this would make all my feelings come rushing back so I was hesitant, but still went along with it, and as predicted they did. The next night we went out with some friends, and she was telling loads of strangers that we were a couple, at one point she even kissed me on the dance floor. When we got back to the house spent the night together.
The next morning, as I feared she was being weird with me and ignoring me. I assumed this was because she was confused about what had happened. We spoke about it, i told her I loved her and she said she didn't know how she felt. We never spoke about it again, but my feelings never changed. Eventually because of my strong feelings, there was a lot of tension between us. Both of us got agitated so we had a fight and fell out. We didn't speak for 6 months despite being in the same boarding school. Even when we have spoken I am never sure if she likes me at all.
I'm so glad I've found other people who are going through the same sort of problem. I understand how difficult it is to deal with feelings that you have no control over. I acted on these feelings and although it was worthwhile short term it has ruined our relationship. The worst thing is, I still care about her more than anything in the world and would do anything for her even though we still hardly speak. Am i being pathetic and holding onto something that i should have let go of a long time ago?
For the longest time we both had no feelings for each other whatsoever, we were just super close. We hung out, drove to each others house, went on crazy adventures, smoked as much as we could ahaha. For the most part we were with other friends, but I felt like we were always the main attraction with everyone else anyway, they wanted to chill with us because we were both crazy haha. We hung out alone a lot too. His family loved me and accepted me as their own.
Eventually the summer of my senior year I realized he was the sweetest human being I ever knew, but he was emotionally unstable in ways, and often talked about his ex girlfriend. She screwed him up pretty bad. So I tried to ignore it, I told no one and tried to get over him. Then I went to college. I was in a new town and I wanted to start a new life. I tried to ignore my feelings because I didn't want to hurt our friendship and I thought he wasn't over his ex.
I started talking to this guy at school, who was a real sweetheart and a lot like me. I did like him, but I was more deluding myself that I like him more than I did my best friend. Which is a straight lie. I eventually told James about it, and the next day he drove up to my school and told me he's loved me for the longest time but never had the courage to tell me. I told him that I loved him too, but I was so torn apart thinking I liked this other kid at college, excited just to be branching out in a totally new place, that I fucked up and told James I didn't know what I wanted and I needed time.
Over time though our relationship got much better and we became super best friends. I lost my feelings for him for awhile in the turbulence, partly because I just buried it all inside. As were becoming best friends again though, we were always comfortable around each other, never judging, always laughing. One time, for his best friend who wanted to date this girl I knew, I agreed that James and I would go as a sort of double date. But it ended up being very romantic, and as the night went on we both knew what we wanted.
The next day, we were high and watching TV. We joked about life and whatever the hell else. He started telling me about his family issues and things that we bothering him so he laid his head on my shoulder. I knew he was too afraid of what would happen and too respectful to try anything. So I thought, "Would I always wonder? Why not just go for it and see what happens?" Because I knew from the first time around that ignoring it will only make the feelings worse.
So I held his hand, and looked at me and asked me if I was okay. And I just kissed him. It was the most wonderful kiss in the world. We stayed in each others' arms and just kissed all night and it was beautiful. This was my sophomore year now and I had to go back to school the next day. Of course he told me he literally had a panic attack the next day thinking he screwed up everything. I thought that was adorable. But now we are literally the two happiest people in the world, and we couldn't be more perfect for each other.
I'm sorry this is so long, but essentially what I'm saying is, don't ever just let it go. But don't push the subject either. Tell the person how you feel, but if they appear uncomfortable, let it go like it it wasn't a big deal. If it was meant to be it will most definitely happen, even if it might take awhile to get past both of your blindness. Just letting it get old will eat away at you forever and in other relationships, but pushing the subject will only push someone else away. Tell her, and if she loved you too it will happen. Good luck <3
His tried to change who i am sence we started dating, i was no longer allowed to talk to any of my friends espcially this one person, which was my best friend.
I recently live with my father and my mother lives quite a long ways. My best friend lives where my mother is and i strongly miss him.
I visit my mom once and a while and whenever i was there i would get confused of who i really loved. My controlling ex boyfriend told me not to contact him in anyway because he was in love with me. He never told me he was until a couple weeks ago.
I've loved him for over a year now and i can't get my mind to stop thinking of him.I finely realized that his the one for me and not my ex boyfriend, I truly think dating him was a big mistake.
We met 2.5 years ago. We actually didn't hit it off right away, we talked most of the day we met, but after that we didn't speak again for almost 3 months, because I didn't think much of it, I thought I'd never see her again. However I was told by my friends that she was asking about me, so I decided to get in touch with her. Funny how it happens, after we reconnected I found her to be a little annoying, and found myself not wanting to talk to her.
But one day things changed and she started to grow on me, and we started talking everyday. It turns out we ended up hooking up (mutual, we both wanted it) but things kind of fell apart after that. After a short period we started talking again everyday, and I was told by my friends she had a huge crush on me, but I did not reciprocate the feelings. Fast forward a few months later and I start to realize I too have these feelings, but she no longer has them for me. I feel like I missed out on an amazing opportunity. I spilled my guts and told her everything, only to find out she decided she doesn't want a relationship at this point in her life. I know it's not healthy to wait, but I can't help but feeling she's the one. The physical and emotional connection is there, but I can only dream about her having those feelings again.
Here's to all of us that love our best friends, I hope that each and everyone of us gets what we dream to have. Good luck to all. Anybody have any success stories?
I'm also in love with my best friend. We've only known each other for a year but we've both said it's felt like longer than that. Similar to many of you, I fell in love with him when he had fallen for someone else. He said she was his ideal, the girl of his dreams. This was six months ago, and even though he says he's gotten over her, I know deep down he still has feelings for her. It hurts me when he's hurt, it overpowers my own feelings. I just want to be there to support him, to let him know he's not alone.
We're living together right now and the feelings have intensified. Sometimes I feel like if we weren't living together, would my feelings slowly fade? But at the same time I can't bring myself to let go of him.
However, he's stated time after time what type of girls he likes, what his exes were like and I feel like he knows my feelings for him and he's reminding me to stop falling for him.
Recently, he's been really stressed and is acting more and more distant. It's starting to feel like he's taking me for granted, knowing that I'll always be there for him. I don't want to play the game of moving away or ignoring him because I want him to realize how important I am, I think he'd get along fine without me.
There's a reason why people become best friends, it's because there's an instant connection. I've daydreamed about a future together, loving him I can't picture a future with anyone else.
We both have annoying traits that we can't stand about each other. But I can't stay angry at him ever. He disappeared last year for three months to concentrate on improving his work and to pursue this girl. I told myself to forget him, that crying over someone who could leave me and abandon our friendship without a moment's notice wasn't worth it. This failed, I couldn't do it. I pretended nothing happened, and this is where we are now: living together, seeing each other day, talking.
I came so close to telling him about what I felt during our vacation with some friends. But he would disappear again if I did, he's the type of person who would avoid this awkward situation, especially if he didn't reciprocate those feelings.
I don't want to risk our friendship, but I can't bring myself to push him away. I don't know what to do anymore.
I'm at a total loss and am beating myself up over it
After my marriage ended i met with my friend again, i found her via another mate. It's been a few years but I absolutely know this person is the most important person I met in my life. She's an inspiration to me, I love her so much. I tried to tell her this last summer and she said she didn't want a relationship etc, we didn't lose each other and I'm very happy about that. I thought telling her would clear the air, but in recent weeks I've fallen for her again. It's very difficult, but I guess I must live with it, as I love her enough to be able to try to live with this. I wish she would show me she felt different, and I know she cares for me, but my wishes aren't enough, and it gives me sadness. But she is still that special person in my life, and I console myself with that truth. Unrequited love. What a drag. But it's real, it's mine and I'm happy she's in my life, though I can't imagine anyone could replace her. She's the most remarkable person. I wish things were different, but love means accepting people for who they are, so I'm doing my best to care without demand. I'm a foolish romantic I suppose.
I am in love with my best friend for a long time now and many things had happend in that period. Because of my insecureness I never got the balls to tell her about my feelings. After many ups and downs she met my other best friend... After a month or two they got a relationship. He knew I had feelings for her but stabbed me in the back. But still I was so glad for them because they were happy... After a while they broke up. And now she is single again. We had a very nice confersation after that, she told me that she loved me, but in another way... :( I don't know what to do, should I tell her? I mean she is everything to me. I don't want to lose her, but at the other hand it has been torture to hide my feelings for her... I am getting so depressed sometimes because of this. And she always notices that there is something wrong, but I can't tell her.... :(
The only thing I know is that she is my world.
Being in love with your best friend isn't bad it just hurts alot and is confusing -.-
I usually think I'm just putting myself through so much torture just staying friends with her but not talking to her is even worse. she's broken my heart so often, has said very clearly on many occasions we will never be together, that i just have false hope for nothing and she doesn't want me to when she knows nothing will ever happen between us.
I always try to give up, to move on, to be the friend she needs me to be but then op top of my own struggles with my feelings, whenever she's drunk, every time she was drunk she would call me, telling me she misses me and she loves me or truly afraid my family wouldn't like her or asking what if her family didn't like me but would be so drunk she couldn't remember most of what she said when she called. She got so desperate that whenever she went out she would leave her phone at home not to call me.
I recently visited her for christmas as a friend (we don't really see each other often at all), I was so terrified in doing anything wrong that I acted like myself but without touching her at all, sat away from her creating whatever distance I could because I knew she doesn't feel the same for me.
At some point she started caressing my cheek with her nose/cheek, we kissed when I turned and looked her in the eyes and she told me she loved me four times that night (I counted plus she wasn't drunk). It was a perfect night, she nor I wanted to leave that spot ever, she was truly happy being there as was I.
But now weeks later, she's given me a song and told me we will never be together, she doesn't want to lose me as a friend and we would never work anyway and as much as she wants more she will not risk it. She is so confused, I love her so much.
She is very clear in her words I should give up. But her actions says so many things. She calls me late at night and falls asleep while talking to me because she wants to feel like I'm there. When she's sad she will ask to listen to me speak because it comforts her. She constantly says she will never leave me but am afraid I will leave her.
I just don't know what to do.
We got into an argument a few days ago, she wants me to date, and i said no and asked why she's pushing it on me to date (she's been trying to get me to date a lot recently). She yelled at me that I just don't understand.. not at all. And she's right I don't I wish I did.. we are just so lost, we will never leave each other but right now we are lost, I don't know what to do and it hurts so much.
But still badly or madly in love with my best friend. I have never ever thought about telling her but she is on my mind 24/7 and it really hurts. She is such a good friend though, we are more like sisters. She knows I might be gay but just wants me to be happy. I have to do something about it though, cos whenever she talks about guys and having boyfriends (she doesn't at the moment) it kills me. My mind just keeps saying "no she still might be gay". All I want to do is let go of these feelings and go back to being best friends.
Would love to tell her but not sure about that. I have never told any one else either.
don't tell her unless you're sure. i know it kills to bottle up love inside, but for her sake, to spare her from losing a good friendship, don't tell.