Are You Normal?

Ask your question today!

I'm in love with my best friend
Favorited (undo)
96% Normal
161 Comments

I don't know if this is normal, but recently, I got really attached to my best friend. Even though I don't like admitting it to other people, it's painfully obvious that I have feelings for her. I love her and I would do anything to make her happy. I'm too shy to tell and even then, I don't want to put our friendship in jeopardy. Is it normal at all to have these kinds of feelings for my best friend?
Is It Normal?
Next >>
Does this post fit one of these flags? If so, click it! [Off Topic] [Inappropriate] [Best Of] [Vulgar] [Funny] [Fake] [Weird] [Interesting] [Stupid] [Lame] [Messed Up]
Comments (161)
I had become friends with a girl almost 7 years ago and we had been each other's best friends for over 5 years. There would rarely be a day where we didn't talk. We had clicked on so many different levels - it was the deepest level of friendship I had ever experienced. It didn't matter that most of our friends had recognized our unmistakable chemistry - that just made me proud of our amazing friendship, especially the "purity" of it. I was so hung up on disproving the notion that guys and girls couldn't just be best friends that I didn't even seriously entertain the notion of us as a potential couple. Looking back, I think I skirted the issue by simply putting her up on a pedestal and telling myself that "she's too good to fall for a guy like me".

Last year, as I was thinking about how happy I would be for her to find the man of her dreams, I felt a tinge of sadness. I am by no means a jealous person so I wondered what the source was. That thought quickly led to a physical reaction: a huge knot in my stomach that I couldn't get rid of. This led me to the realization that I would be happier being that special person for her for the rest of our lives. After wrestling with my feelings for a week and making sure that I was really in love, I called her and confessed my newfound discovery. I say discovery because to be honest, I had probably been in love for at least some time before I had been aware and certainly before I admitted that to myself. Even though we always had a clear and honest channel of communication, when I told her of my feelings as soon as I became aware of them, she admitted to having had similar thoughts just a few months earlier. She said ironically that she thought "I was too good to fall for a girl like her". We re-evaluated our feelings for one another as privately as possible and came to the best decision I could have hoped for. Since we had such a solid foundation of friendship, things progressed rapidly and talk about marriage was not far behind. I consider myself the luckiest guy in the world and couldn't be happier for the way things turned out.

During my week of agony, the key motivating factor was that I couldn't live with the regret of possibly missing out on the most amazing romantic journey with the girl I knew was right for me. Could my decision have affected our friendship? Of course. But I felt that we had such a solid foundation that we could move past my revelation no matter how difficult. I (perhaps naively) figured I could easily put her happiness above mine; I'd rather have her find someone she loves even if it meant me losing out on the love of my life. Good luck to all of you wrestling with this difficult decision - hope it turns out for the best but there's no way of knowing until you put it out there at some point in time.
Comment Hidden (show)
Yeah.... its normal, but if you want the truth is one of the most dangerous loves, but also it can be the most beautiful. In my case, it was terrible... I always question myself and sometimes regret about telling her my real feelings. Our friendship was based on affection, taht kind of affection that, if u don't have enough strength, can be misunderstood. She always hugged me, kissed my cheek out of nowhere, held my hand, walked beside me, told me everything, listened to everything I had to tell her, laughed for nothing, she also went out with me everytime I asked her to, we got jealous at some time of our lives of the other's boyfriend ( or my ex-girlfriend), we joked about being toghether and said we would make a perfect couple.
But it never happened. I think it was the time that ruined it all, now she's dating another guy and I couldn't stand it so told her the truth....terrible choice......
Now... she is distant, its not the same....feels like everything is lost...

And I miss her... it hurts me that we can't be friends anymore, not because we don't want to, but because everything has changed, and neither I or her can do something about it...
I miss the hugs
I miss the kisses
I miss the laughs
I miss the moments we could spend toghether
I miss her trust, now she whispers because she doesn't wants me to know
I miss the talks, we could spend HOURS talking, but now... we haven't had a conversation that lasts more than 3 minutes
I can´t stand to see her phone and see that the other guy now receives most of her calls
I miss that I don't get anymore calls from her
I miss those fights we had because I sometimes didn't answer my phone because I was training, eating or simply cause I didn't heard it ring... and the way we always ended seeing each other the next day in school, and ran at each other, hug each other and promise we would never fight again... even though it was like the 15th time.
Our plans, our "dates" we had because one of us had broke with its girlfriend or boyfriend, and that being with them was the only way to get over those relationships.
I don't know if she loved me once, all I know is that it took me too much time to tell her.
I put some serious thought into it for almost a month, and when I finally told her... she did't respond... and the next day I discovered that she had already started a relationship. I feel like sh**!! But it was the wrong moment...and it all went straight to hell.

So my advice is: yes it is normal, but you've got to tell her in the right moment, because.. the moment is everything man, I learned that the hard way.

Luck to you all if you face the same situation
Comment Hidden (show)
-
@: cepich
man, this just made me cry. :(
Comment Hidden (show)
@: cepich
My bestfriend is the coolest,most beautiful,funny girl in the world. I'm not the only one who thinks so, among them is her boyfriend. I told her 2 weeks ago cuz i wanted to get it off my chest, she was fine with it and i told her im fine with you not liking me like that just being a part of your life is great. But i go to bed thinking only of her and i barely flirt anymore except her its killing mee i liked it more when i was a smooth talking freshman manwhore. So ya anyone who sees this and is experiencing this problem it is normal we just gotta try yo get over her/him but continue to love them as a friend.
Comment Hidden (show)
@: cepich
Cepich, I could have written that myself dude..
Comment Hidden (show)
@: cepich
hey""!! it must say "Our plans, our "dates" we had because one of us had broke with its girlfriend or boyfriend, and that being with each other was the only way to get over those relationships." srry, foolish mistake
Comment Hidden (show)
I can relate to all of this... My best childhood friend and I were very close for many years. As we grew to be teenagers, there were massive shifts in the feelings for each other, not just from my end, but from hers too. People say the getting romantically involved can ruin a relationship, but not doing do can have negative effects too.

As we both agreed to not get involved with each other and to just stay friends so we can hang onto the best friendship that either one of have ever had, it really caused us to drift apart. We spent less and less time together over the next few years and eventually we stopped talking to each other altogether.

The drifting in our relationship came from the fact that I couldn't stand to see her with anyone else, and as I began to see other women I couldn't stand for her to see me with anyone else.

a decade later, she and I catch up, and the feelings are confessed ALL OVER AGAIN (mutually), and we again agree that we shouldn't do anything right now... Which puts me back into the same position I was when we were much younger, except now that we are older, I feel like I am taking it a bit more seriously. After every mistake I have made in every relationship I have ever been in, I am beginning to see what is the most important to me, and it hurts knowing that it all could be part of my own pipedream.

She has asked me about my past relationships and if there is ever any chance of those being mended, and I couldn't come up with the words to say that those relationships didn't work because the others just weren't enough like you, while sounding believable.

If the feelings are there for you and for her, and they are genuine, you will drift apart unless you work on becoming a couple. From what I understand, it will be the most rewarding relationship ever... I can only imagine. If you're crazy in love with someone, you will not be able to just sit back and not tell them, not want to be a part of their life, and not care if they are with someone else. If you can do all those things, then you are probably not in love with that person in the first place.

I lost out in the past and I attribute it to my timing. I was too afraid in the past to ever speak up in fear of having the relationship drift apart because of it, unaware that it was going to happen anyway.

If I could do it all differently, I would.

So here I am. 30 years old and still regretting not taking that chance when the outcome was the same as what I expected it to be if I had.

My advice to you is to go for it. Don't be another me. It sucks balls. :D

Hope I've helped.
Comment Hidden (show)
Honestly, i believe that it's inevitable for most people to fall for their best friends. I have...it just happens. It's completely normal.
Comment Hidden (show)
I am in this same situation, except i'm a girl and i've been in love with my best friend for 5 years. It has sucked completly to be honest. He has no clue how i feel about him, ive just kept it to myself and dealt with the pain. but i havent dealt with the pain WELL. ive been so depressed and emotional, its even worse because i have to witness his flirting with this other girl that he likes. and i have to play the best friend part and be happy for him. I think this is one of the hardest things that anyone can go through, developing growing feelings for your best friend that turn into love. the first 2 years i was okay, then after that it just got worse. i spent more and more time with him and i just got more and more attracted and deepening feelings for him. to this day he still doesnt know, i plan on telling him the week after i get back from my trip to florida. but idk how its gonna go, and even worse im not sure if its gonna be the right time. but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. its just gotten so bad that i need to tell him soon, before i completely explode on him and end up pushing him away. also with ilovesteph^ above, if someone knows how to keep the secret but also take away the pain, let us know. The pain hurts more then anything else.
Comment Hidden (show)
I just finished a 20 minutes crying time and I am a freaking guy. My friends look at me as the strong wise guy. But I have fallen to this girl. I am her best friend she trusts me and favours me to all her friends. We've known each other for two years and can't pass a single day without talking to each other. Ok, I know I am not her type of guy. She is about to get into a relationship and all I am doing is helping her out. I live in such pain. I am sure, 100%%, she would never want me as a boyfriend. But, I have fallen in love with her and I can't deny it anymore. I cry with my self. I scream inside. Every time that I have to fake me being just a friend to her. Every time I have to fake how I care about her as a best friend or as a sister. I am totally in love with her but I can't lose her. And I will lose her once I tell her what I feel.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
She is the only thing I want I'll give up anything fuck money fuck everything else I just want to lay in her arms for hours n never leave.. Just me an her that would make me happy. She turned me into a little girl. Every night I wish that we could be together. Every second she is running through my mind
Comment Hidden (show)
i know exactly how you feel and it sucks
Comment Hidden (show)
my friend i too am in nearly the exact same boat that you are. except one major difference i am the father of her unborn son. it was a drunk night for both of us and we told each other how we felt about each other(or so we were told) and well you can well imagine the rest of that night. the next we both went about life as if nothing had happened. exactly 1 month after that night i received a call during one of the hurricanes we had last year telling me that she was 4 weeks pregnant. she drove over during the storm and cried in my arms. she thinks its another guys. the hard part about it is i know its my kid just from the 3d/4d ultrasound that was conducted. so i have to agree with her because she doesnt remember that night.i am madly in love with her and have been for nearly 20 years and sad thing is i am only 22. the baby is due next week i am demanding a DNA test but am unsure of what the consequences of me doing this will be seeing as she doesnt remember that night.I love her there has been several times that i have recieved physical injuries just to help her and protect her. i want to tell her im not sure how to do it. her family all tell me that when they bring the subject of her and myself up to her that she quickly changes the subject help please. the mental and physical torment is unbearable.
Comment Hidden (show)
listen, i don't know if this is gonna help but im in the same boat as you lot. only trouble is, she's a chick and so am i. how's that for screwed? there's more. ive loved her for years now but recently, she dated one of our mutual friends, for a year and a half! i like the guy a lot, he's a great friend, so i don't want to fuck them up, you know. they're broken up now, sort of, still love each other, just don't want to do the dating thing. he's still madly in love with her and i know that if i stole her away, assuming she has mutual feelings of course, that he would hate my guts. i sort of feel like they're perfect for each other too, you know. So winding around to my point, i think i would rather see my best friend truly happy, with the one she loves, rather than being with me, even though it would mean the world to me if we could be together. i know some people don't see it like this, but i love her beyond anyone, you know, which is horrible and wonderful. Good luck anyways, to eveyone.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
@: spivet
im in a similar sitution to you only i helped my best friend out of a bad relationship with a guy only to find shes dating another chick she just met at a rave. we have been best friends forever and are exactly alike. we grew up in similar situations and no matter how far apart we are were always rite there wen we need each other. i know she loves me but wen i told her i loved her she said im not allowed to. what does this mean???
Comment Hidden (show)
smithee
yes, this is how most relationships get started!
Comment Hidden (show)
-
I've loved my best friend for 7 years.
We speak for 5 hours every day.
Do guys who want just a friendship do this?
I don't want to ruin anything because I can't live without him.
I nearly died trying a couple of years ago...
He makes me laugh when I think I will never smile again.
He listens when I fear I am all alone.
I love him.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
TomPaauwe
I feel the same way of a girl I felt in love with. When I look back I think I`ve always liked her. She laughs when I tell her jokes and makes me smile whenever I feel depressed. But I told her some years ago, but she didnt feel the same way. after that she had 2 boyfriends in that time I said: "Maybey I should just give up to falling in love with you..." Then she responded with: "Why would you" After that we changed subject. She`s now single I have her msn and It says Tell my god wheres a hero I can fall in love forever. I`m confused now, I never gave up on her, but I cant go on like this forever
Comment Hidden (show)
-
i'm kinda in the same mess you are my friend and i really dont know what the hell to do also..i kinda already expressed my feelings to her and it ended up very badly. we stopped talking to each other until i told her that i'm over her but when we started talking again i fell in love with her again and i'm in the same situation.. i guess i have to end it and try to find someone else as perfect as her.. i just.. it seems impossible :(
Comment Hidden (show)
I know exacally how u feel... sept mine is going on 8 years now...
Comment Hidden (show)
Go for it!
1: if you guys are that good of friends you can recover from any kind of relationship if it goes bad while remaining friends. and if you are not that good of friends, well then who cares lol
2: the best, longest lasting relationships are formed from strong friendships
3: im not just talking out of my (expletive), im actually madly in love with my girlfriend, who was and still is my best friend. i have never been more happy with a woman than i am with her, and BELIEVE me, ive been with a lot of other women.
Moral of the story: Go for it! it could end up being the best thing you ever did, or it could not, but i assure you it definately wont be the worst thing! =-)
Carpe Diem
Good Luck
Comment Hidden (show)
My best friend of TEN YEARS just confessed he's been in love with me, yesterday night. I realized I loved him too. Go for it. If she is your best friend, she'll understand.
Comment Hidden (show)
cabinet70
Yes its normal because you get along so well and have a lot in comon
Comment Hidden (show)
Completely normal bro, i think so many people will go through this in their life. I was in the same situation and i say go for it! It didn't work out for me but we are still friends, the not knowing ate me from inside! Good luck in what ever you choose!
Comment Hidden (show)
Im the girl and i am going through this. im way too scared to say anything! Im literally dying inside, its so painful and i just feel so frustrated by it all. He does things that make me think he likes me but has currently been out with two friends of mine. I have no clue what to do. Hes told me im the most important thing to him and has told me things that he told me no one else knows or will ever know. I don't know what to do and just have no idea how this can end possitivly because i cant see why he would chose me. oMg im in the same sit and i just hope it works out for some of us. xx
Comment Hidden (show)
That's so freaking cute. I'm in love with my bestfriend as well. Tell her! TELL HER MAN! she might feel the very same way.
Comment Hidden (show)
I have a really good guy friend, we talk online every night until the very early hours of the morning. We talk about anything and everything, and he says that he would protect me from violence and stupid creepy guys, and we even have nicknames for each other. But all i can think is that he thinks of me as his sister, and nothing else. I don't know what to tell him thought, because every other guy friend i had a crush on, and i told them, they ended up ignoring me. I just feel that if things are meant to be, they will fall into place. If she feels strongly for you, she will tell you one day, just as i think i will tell him or he will tell me. Let nature run its course cuz it will turn out alright in the end. :)
Comment Hidden (show)
-
Btw, he loves you.

Just saying, no guy stays up all night to talk to a girl their not in love with.

My sources? Im a guy
Comment Hidden (show)
-
Sorry, but even if your source seems quite reliable, you´re wrong there. My best friend stays up with ME on the phone all night, yet he and my best (girl)friend have been a couple for more than 3 years now and there is no way he could be in love with me. Any special "sources" of advice there?
Comment Hidden (show)
you know im in love with my best freind and i find it very hard to tell her..i dont want to ruin our perfect freindship.. she is the best thing that has ever happened to me and honestly i know i kan never be with her but in this world you never know. i realized that if itz meant to be it will find its way no matter wat..if she rejects me rite now itll be very painfull but if itz meant to be it will come bakk somehow..it will get throught all the bs and drama..im not talkn about some lil crush or anything im talkn about the kind of love that changes your life and makes you sure of wat yoo want...im so lost and deeply in loove i dont knoo wat to do.ima go crazy.aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Comment Hidden (show)
-
Dude I know what u mean I would do anything for her Idc it's So hard I think I'm gonna have to tell her how I truely feel cause it's the summer time n she is with her ex again who treats her like shit n I just know she's drifting away from me it's makin me go craZy I love her so much
Comment Hidden (show)
yeah like the rest of you guys i'm in the same boat. I've been in love with about 2 years now and i tried everything in my power just to make her happy and i know she appreciates i but i don't think she gets that i'm madly in love with her. I mean i told her that i loved her but that didn't end well.. she rejected my feelings saying that she sees me only as a friend and i was heartbroken feeling empty for like a month or two. then i entered a relationship just for the sake to try and forget her but i just couldn't do that and i ended up making friends with her again, rejecting my own feelings just to make her happy. Yesterday she told me that she couldn't sleep and that she really need to tell me something face to face and i figured this is it right? so i couldn't sleep all night fantasizing about her and then she tells me that she had problems with her mum and stuff like that. I mean I CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS! i really really love her but i can't spend the rest of my life pretending not to and i can't forget her no matter how hard i try. I keep thinking maybe one day she will realize how much i really love her but that seems like it will never come. I don't no what to do just like the majority of you guys i just .. i'm gonna go crazy. Even when i'm drunk i keep thinking about her.. anyways i already confessed to her and she rejected me and i am not going through that horrible time again but i just cant tend to keep away from her even though she kinda broke my heart. Any other girl i kiss i feel nothing at all apart from plain arousal which is nothing compared to when i'm simply near what i believe to be the love of my life.

Yeah, this truly sucks :(
Comment Hidden (show)
i told my friend i liked him shortly aftter i met him
he told me he didnt feel the same
but over two years past i stopped feeling that way for him
where closer then ever now
hes the first guy what my dad loves
first guy my older and younger brothers love
and my mom thinks we'd be forever
we act like were dating
we argue like were dating we make up like nothing happened
i havnt had a boy friend in 2 years and i told him i dont want one
i spend almost every night at his house during weekends and summers
we sleep in the same bed
even if he drank him self silly he still respects my wishes
but my wishes are now different
i want him and only him
but i dont want to tell him
not now
so im going to let nature take its cource if something happens
it will happen
and then we will talk about our relation ship and see were it goes
i dont know when that may be but
we willl be best friends forever
together or not
i will still love him in every way
forever.
Comment Hidden (show)
Life is too short to wait around forever to think to yourself if it is going to workout. If your heart is telling you to do something follow it. In the end it might mess up your friendship, but true best friends will stick by your side, she will understand, if you don't tell her than you will not mess up your friend ship, but then you will think and say for the rest of your life. what if? what if I asked her out, or told her. where would I be right now. There is a saying called " carpe diem" it is latin for seize the day. Live everyday to the fullest. I had the same problem as you and once I told her. First thing she did was smile and cry. Because she felt the same way as me. Go get her bud.
Comment Hidden (show)
I've been going through the exact same situation, i've been madly in love with my best friend for about 3 and a half years now, and i would do anything for him, and we are very close, but things got bit complicated when he started going out with this girl, and they both really like each other, and i found it really hard seeing them together, Especially when they would get off in front of me, and when i did tell him, i was expecting him to freak out in some homophobic way, but the exact opposite happened, he said he understood,and he never got angry at me and while he said he cared for me, he said that he could never the exact same way that i do for him, because he'll never be into guys, and although i was slightly heartbroken, i was so glad to just get it off my chest, and he just sat with me and comforted me and gave me a great big hug, and he said he'd always be there for me, so my advice to u and to anyone out there is to take the plunge and tell that someone how u feel, and even if it goes wrong then u won't be the only one who was in that situation, thats what i found out.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
@: fisker
i admire you so much for the courage you must have had to do that. my problem is similar but he got out of an awful relationship with a manipulative girl. i am in love with him, no joke. i knw i could tell him that i love him and i dont know what i wuld do without him but the thing is is i really want a relationship with him. he has flirted with me a bunch of times but i dnt know what sign to choose from. :)
Comment Hidden (show)
yea it's all true. feel the same. one person knows. no one else really, not all of it. don't get on with her like i did since i moved away, even though the first month we were arguably closer, said she missed me like hell and really loved me all the time, which made my feelings so much stronger. then i came back and things went different. she is so miserable at times and she takes a lot of it out on me. i've tried distancing myself but i can't do it. just makes me worse. she hasn't really been with anyone for a long time. the last guy is pretty much my best friend. i often feel when i go out with her that she doesn't really want to be with anyone else. she never really leaves my side. she is attached to me as i am to her. but lately it's not as loving and fun as it used to be. pretty joyless. it hurts, i don't really understand why either. we are like a married couple. she gets annoyed when i don't bother and she wonders why. but when i explain she's not interested. i think i need to tell her to give me peace of mind. nothing will be like it was but then again it isn't really anyway. it really is a shame and as much as i wish it's all down to unrequited love it's down to her not really having no one else i think. i'd always be there if she needed me. but if i told her, i think that would be it. i don't know whether being away from home is helping me or being close would bring things back. a lot of it is down to the way she is, not just me. just can't tell her i love her. best friends for over a year. i'm nearly mid-20's. i feel like i'm too old for this. but really...i don't think i've ever had anyone like her before. meh,
Comment Hidden (show)
I recently fell for my best friend. Yesterday we kissed, and today I told her how I felt, and she said she felt the same.
I was putting off doing anything for ages out of nerves, but am now really glad I told her. :)
Comment Hidden (show)
i have been in love wit my bestfriend for about a year now. origially she said she didnt think she could date me because she was my bestfriend and that if im a bf i cant be a bestfriend. :S
but i cant help but feel how i feel. we tell each other everything and have no secrets between each other. but when the fact tat i am inlove wit her is in the open it causes lots of tension she dun feel the way i do. she has never had a good bf, always hurt her, beat her, cheated. and i just tried to show her there is some good guys out there, i was always there for her when she was down, and when she needed help. i always gave er compliments and tried as hard as i could to prove to her that shed be happy wit me, but it wasnt enough. or maybe i did/said too much. so lately with our tension we get into big arguements and get really mad at each other and i dunno what to do. the only way i could ever et over er is to drive her away and cut her off completely. but when i dun see her for even a few days im miserable. and yesterday i had the thought of doing so, until i read this page it totally changed my perspective and made me realise that the friendship is better than nothing. ill always love her and always have hope
Comment Hidden (show)
If you like her, ask her out. If she says no, she's an asshole because she's rejecting you.
Despite popular opinion, your friendship with her is already over, due to your new feelings. Don't worry about maintaining the friendship afterwards, if it doesn't work. It's because it won't work and it never has and never will for anyone. Anyone who tells you differently is lying to you. Your new feelings for her will either blossom into a relationship or die, it's that simple. The quicker you come to this conclusion the quicker you can get on with your new relationship or your recovery from the rejection.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
What DJ_Shadow said is so brilliant i cant even put into words how spot on he/she is.

Being friends and having feelings just doesnt work. If you like her/him, go for it, because if you don't it will just eat away at you. I've been there, its not worth it, because you could get trapped into a pretty sorry state for a long time, its soul destroying. Especially to see the person eventually get a partner when you're stuck in the same old mindset. The only problem is you probably wont listen to anyones advice, and eventually, your situation could ruin you; but then you'll never put yourself in the position again. You'll never learn anything real from some website full of other peoples experiences, what people say here is completely related to themselves when your circumstances are probably totally different. Go out and make mistakes! And if you think it was all worth it, then fuckin make them all again. If you are actually in love with the person then you should bite the bullet and at least find out if it would have worked or not.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
i love ur comment. i think ur totally right only in my situation thats hard because i am a girl and my best friend is also a girl. she is openly gay and i am not. she has expressed feelings for me in the past and isisted that im not interested in girls so shes not allowed to feel that way. she could tell i was kinda lying i just cant admit to myself that i love girls. for her its normal but for me its so strange to have these feelings for a girl. my heart beats a million miles an hour when we lay in bed together. shes always on my mind and i can never wait to see her again whenever we go our seperate ways. i think shes the most beautiful and kind person i know and i wud take a bullet for her only probly is she has moved on and found a girlfriend just in time for me to realize this. i kno now why im never happy with my boyfriends and am always so jellous of her girlfriends. cuz i just want to be able to call her mine but now i fear its too late. we got drunk the other night and i told her i love her and she told me that im not allowed to love her like that. but the next day her fb status said im her best friend and she loves me too. im so confused i dunno what thats supposed to mean. i kno shes happy with her girlfriend and i dont want to mess that up i just want her to be happy. plus i dont even know if she were to break up with her if i could do it. shes the only girl ive ever felt this way about and its just so wierd i cant explain and i know i shudnt care but like what wud i tell my parents ya im dating my best friend? i love holding her hand and kissing her in private i cant help myself most of the time but im afarid of the looks wed get if we were to express ourselves in public. i want her but i want only her to know shes mine if that makes anysense. im so confused...i love her so much...
Comment Hidden (show)
-
can someone please give me some advice. im 20 year old girl and so is she. only problem is ive never considered myself a lesbian before and i think she loved me in the past but has given up and moved on and found someone like me to love. i think i missed my chance and maybe im just jellous
Comment Hidden (show)
Well put, Shadow.
Comment Hidden (show)
tbh mate i would go for it because ive been there and i know how you must feel because the longer you keep it to yourself the stronger the feelings become. i was in the exact same situation apart from me and this girl dated about a year ago and it was perfect the build up to the realationship but once we started going out it was really awkward so we decided to break up and things got back to the way they used to be me and her flitring constantly acting like we was going out again but then she started to date some other guys which left me heartbroken and not knowing what to do so i tried moving on aswell and went out with a few girls and she acted all jealous about it and anyway them realationships all broke up and we started to get really close again then she had a sudden change of heart after telling all her mates she liked me and telling my mates all of a sudden she didnt like me anymore but thats when i began to realise i was in love with her this was in december and let it eat away at me till 4 weeks ago i told her i love her and asked her out and she said no as she sees me as a serious realationship and she doesnt want that yet and yeah its awkward at first mate but trust me if you are that close as friends you will get through it things do get worse before they get better though you will have the awkward stage at first if she says no( i really hope she doesnt) but now i think my girl has started to like me in that way ever since i told her cos after 2 weeks after i told her we're back to being inseperable
Comment Hidden (show)
well just tell her or hint around just ask and if u get rejected make sure u casn still be friends!
Comment Hidden (show)
i am in that situation to boy..
im the girl, that's why it's awkward to tell him that i do love him, but i'll get the timing so that i could tell him what i do feel, but the catch here is that your the boy so it must be your move, you should tell her before its too late , you dont know she might love you too...but, you must be ready for the consequences .
Comment Hidden (show)
I am in the same boat. I'm in love my best friend for almost a year now. I think she knows since she has made comments about how i have acted toward her while i am drunk. I have wanted to tell her for the longest time but i know i would lose her as a friend if i confessed my love for her since she has told me that if one of her friends told her that she couldn't be as close to them. She has had bad experiences with females telling them that they are lesbians and wanted to date her. It is really hard for me to see her with her boyfriend. And even worse me hearing about how great a guy he is when i know he is a scum bag. I know that nothing will ever happened between us and a part of me does not want to since i love her a lot and just want her to be happy. But i just want her to be with someone that is good for her and will put her ahead of their own wants and that loves her as much as i do.
Comment Hidden (show)
Hey I just got the same situation..
I love my best friend. At the beginning I was chasing after her, but I gave up in the middle because she couldn't get over her ex, so I find myself another girlfriend. It was then we became best friend. My relationship the other girl didn't last long and I broke up and it took me sometime to forget bout that girl. Now I found my self in love my best friend again.
When I confessed to her, she said she considered me only as her best friend and she said if I confessed to her before went out with the other girl, she would've accept me. So I hugged her and even kissed her on the lips, she shows only a little rejection. She even said that she might even regret it rejecting me. But she still said no.
At first I was planning on ending this friendship if she were to reject me.
But she's just too precious for me and because she didn't avoid me at all,only show little rejection and saying that she might regret it, making me unable to give up on her yet and continue to fight on knowing I have a very small chance.
But I don't know if I'm doing the right thing..
Comment Hidden (show)
I have a tendency to fall for my best friends and I've had two very different outcomes. The first time it happened, we actually both had feelings for each other but were to shy to tell each other. It was very painful and our friendship ended VERY badly. But then when I was 17 my best guy friend in the world and I started having feelings for each other. This time he actually actively pursued me and that gave me the courage to return his feelings. We fell in love and have now been together two years with no end in sight. So my advice to you, if you are really serious about her, is that secrets don't help any close relationships whether they're friendships or romance. You could end up hurting both of you if this remains hidden.
Comment Hidden (show)
My best friend and I met when we were 14. Ironically we had been from the same town, he still lived there and I moved from there when I was eight. When I was back in town visiting was when we finally met. We pretty much had instant chemistry, but I had a boy friend at the time so nothing really happened other than the exchange of numbers.

When I left to go back to the place I was now living we texted a little bit but due to busy schedules it was hard to really talk. Our relationship became to fade more and more then we didn't talk at all. Then I sent him a message a couple weeks before I was going back there for a visit. We starting talking every night, and realized we'd both lost each others numbers. The day that I was driving up there he texted me. I stayed in that town with friends for a week. He and I trying to find every chance to see each other.

We knew right away that we had strong feelings for each other, and that after a week of talking we wanted to be together. The day that I was leaving he woke up early to go over to my best friends house to just sit and talk with me on the porch since no boys were aloud in her house when her parents weren't home. We talked for 3 hours and then he kissed me. Not to sound corny or anything, but it was honestly the best kiss I've ever had. The way I felt kissing him was different from any other guy that I had ever kissed, and will ever kiss.

We started dating that day, even though we lived five hours apart, and didn't know the next time that we would see each other. Not like we had much of a choice, but we took things really slow. It took us four months to tell each other that we loved each other even though we had both known since the beginning.

Then sadly nine months later we broke up. The distance became too much. For a while our realtionship was hard. We couldn't stop talking to each other but we needed to be able to take a break. It was really hard for us not to talk to each other to the point we began to resent our realtionship because we wanted each other so bad but due to family and friends we couldn't. After a while of taking a break from communication we're finally able to talk again non stop.

He's my best friend I'm truly in love with him. Both of us have everything that we ever gave each other because we knew that it would be stupid to get rid of them because we would be back together. I'm going to marry that boy some day. They say that friendship ends in love, but love never ends in friendship. I disagree. I think if the love is truly there your friendship will grow forever.

You're not wrong for being in love with your best friend. There's a reason there your best friend it's because you have such a deep connection, it would be impossible to not be in love.
Comment Hidden (show)
Well, comin from agirl with plenty of experiance. Does she flirt with you I.E Laugh at every little thing yhoo say, Does she constantly touch yhoo or want to hug yhoo?
Does she always fone yhoo up first to ask yhoo about problems? Does she even fone yhoo at all?
If the answers to these questions are all yes then i think its safe to say that you are in for a yes if you ask her out.
but if one answer is no then I strongly advise yhoo to not ask her out!!
Jorsha XxxX
Comment Hidden (show)
-
-
Thank you DecadesAhead.

you, not yhoo. good god.
Comment Hidden (show)
I know exactly how you feel, I have had feelings for my best friend for close to two years now. It's not fair, and I know i'll never have a chance. At times i just want to leave because I know I'll never find someone like her, and other times I always feel like by some miracle it will work. Truth is, it won't. Maybe your lucky though, tell her, see what happens. I told her not to long after feeling like that, and we were not as close as we are now, so who knows...maybe one day ill do it too
Comment Hidden (show)
-
@: robb26
I'm going through this right now. Last night was my homecoming, and I went with my best friend, whom I've loved for almost 4 years now, and I told her right when it started, too. I asked her to homecoming as a friend, and hse said yes. So we're still best friends, even though I always bring up how I love her and want to be with her. She always just tells me to stop pushing it, because she doesn't like me like that, and she doesn't want either of us to get hurt. I honestly think she's afraid to love me, because she doesn't want to lose me, but when I say that, she just gets mad at me for "telling her how she feels". She has hurt me, many many times since I've known her. Theis makes the fact that I'm still in love with her more special to me, because it has to be there for a reason. I couldn't still love her after the things she's said to me if it wasn't special. And I always hope that it will work out, but I know that it won't. Even knowing this, I still try to be with her, and I still love her, only to get my heart torn apart again and again, but it will never stop. The thing is I also know it hurts her, and that makes me feel terrible. But I can't just put my feelings aside, because they're who I am. I can never change that. I believe that the only way out for me is death, and I'm not afraid of that.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
TomPaauwe
death`s never an option Theres always a person that feels the same way you do, I`m depressed too but I still don`t give up. I said to my Best f "I`m looking to find other love. But you know I`ll always be there for you." When I stayed at her for dinner I said I`d like to do something romantic. Then she asked What then? But know a week later I asked her the same question but I got the answer shes not in the mood, so now Im off depressed again. I just say you should never expect that everything will go as you wanted. But you shouldnt give up on life every experience matters Itll be hard but I bet someones out there for me. Whether its my best friend or someone completeley different
Comment Hidden (show)
Its normal I'm in love with my best friend and she knows, but i dont think she feels the same way, but it didn't make a difference i actually think it made us closer. the only thing is that i lover her and i have to keep it on the inside, and that my friend is the hardest thing to do. it is like torture. every minute i spend with im in pain wishing i could kiss her. in the end it is worth saying because you cant keep love bottled up.
Comment Hidden (show)
Right, so most these people may of got it from friends or somewhere.

I'm gunna talk from experience, cuz i like to share things, it might be a lil different cuz im a girl, and im guessing your a boy.

Well, one of my best friends atm is a boy, and he's told me he loves me, and i've let down another pretty nice boy who liked me and he was really upset, and this boy who was my best friend is being so nice saying i can have as much time as i want, he really is being so nice, and this makes me wanna get there faster. buuh i will get with him eventully he's really nice. And hey all girls love boys that can be there best friends as well as the one they care about and love the most.

So my advice to you is this girl will love the fact that she can have a best friend and a boy to care about so much at the same time, and if you are amazingly nice and caring, i've got to say unlike most boys, you will still be best friends even if it doesn't work out in the end, even if it takes time, just be patient and don't push the girl, if she keeps mentioning it again and again then this means she wants you to tell her you do love her just to reasure her when she's thinking of what to answer, girls like the reasurance every so often even when your going out with them.

Might be a bit confusing, but us girls can be hard to please. Playing hard to get is are way of finding out how much you do love us, expecially if they've been let down before.

Hope this helped, kinda confusing like i said.

Loveyaah'z. x
Comment Hidden (show)
sounds to me chittychat that you actually have a good chance. good luck with what ever you choose to do :)

issn't it rubbish that there is no answer to our questions.

my friend's in love with someone else, it hurts when im with her so im now thinking whats the point in remaining friends if even that hurts. she met and is now with this other guy, she really loves him. me and her have gotten very close in the past ive known her for a long time and its been an up and down friendship beacuse of my feelings. she's always been kinda vague about her feeling to me.

Is it wrong to tell another guy's gal that you love her?

i might tell her, run for the hills and leave it all to fate. eeergh :(
Comment Hidden (show)
im also going through all of these feelings. i met her in one of our classes about 4 years ago, and we were both madly in love, but didnt tell eachother, i decided to tell her 2 years later, and she said she use to feel the same, but not anymore, and ever since i keep telling her and telling her, and we just keep getting closer.
Comment Hidden (show)
I'm a girl and my best friend has been in love with me for years, our friendship isn't really weird but I think he's getting over me. I like him now but I'm too late to tell him, so make the most of the moment and tell her before she finds somebody else!

Remember these words: Live For the Moment
Comment Hidden (show)
I'm in a messed up position right now...I've been in love with a girl for almost a year... last august I confessed to her... she rejected me... but... not only our friendship didn't die... as a few weeks arterial she told me she considered me her best friend... and she started dating some other guy... and... although it is extremely painful... I continued being her best friend... but after that... she started doing things she has never done before... like hugging me... giving me her arm and hands... always being with me... taking me on trips...and talking about a possible marriage between us... and how longo can someone wait for another person even if the other is with someone... oh well... I really love this girl... but her friendship means a lot to me... I have no idea what to do...
Comment Hidden (show)
-
@: Velix
are you dense any self respecting person would kill to be in your shoes. she speaks of a Marriage between the two of you. DO IT!!
Comment Hidden (show)
@: Velix
Dude wtf are you even doing on thi site!!! She loves you!
Comment Hidden (show)
Im in love with my best friend, she's amazing and nothing can compare to her I asked her out in the first month of getting to know her but she said no. we've got so much closer and i hate when i see her talking to boys she might fall for. She sometimes drops hints that she likes me and i drop hints that I like her. We've both been out with people but they only lasted a few days for both of us. She used to tell me who she liked but now she doesn't. I dont know what to do and whats best. We both give each other mixed messages but im deeply in love with her and dont know what to do for the best.
Comment Hidden (show)
I fell for my best friend. I told her about my feelings for her and she said she didn't think of me that way. That I was like a brother to her. I think it made our friendship awkward for a while although she doesn't think so. She stopped telling me personal things. I still love her and I would wait forever for her but I don't know if her feelings would ever change. I don't know if I am wasting my time on here when I should move on and find someone else. I'm only 19 so we are still young. Too young some of you may think. But I love everything about her and I often think about marrying her one day if she would have me. I'm not giving up just yet although it hurts bad. Good luck to the rest of you that love your best friend.
Comment Hidden (show)
I registered because I really wanted to tell my story too, and it felt really good to see that so many people are on the exact same page as me, because it does get excrutiatingly lonely. This is going to get quite long, but I hope those who have the patience to read it might get some insight to their own issues.. and despite it's length, keep in mind this is STILL the abridged version! lol

I am 21 now, but I first saw the object of my affections when I was 14. There was no doubt that I wanted to get to know her, but I was way too inscure and shy to say anything to such a gorgeous young girl. And she was in the enrichment program at my highschool, so she was a lot smarter than me too!

Well a couple years passed, and to my surprise at the age of 16 I entered by new history class and found her sitting in the seat behind me! As it turned out we had a mutual friend (who I originally had a crush on! But it quickly faded once I met 'her'). We quickly became good friends. I wanted to lose weight and become attractive so she might find me that much more appealing, so I started going to the gym regularly. A trend which I have continued with throughout university and have lost upwards of 60 pounds from my highschool days (just one of the countless postive ways in which she has improved my life by doing nothing more than simply being in it)!
Comment Hidden (show)
-
The following year was our final year of highschool together. I wanted so badly to try and be with her, so I just tried to be there for her. We quickly became best friends through my efforts and she came to trust me, and I'd never judge her. I wanted to ask her to our prom and I came so close (kept hesitating because I still had such big confidence issues), but then some other guy came out of nowhere and asked her on a whim. I was livid and I practically wept all that evening... (prom was still fun though lol).

She revealed to me that her father had been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and he passed away later that summer. I did as much as I could at the time to help her, but I was so inexperienced at such things I just didn't know how. I still regret not being there more for her. To hold her, but again, I was a stupid coward--a very regretful combination. Still I helped in my way and I've never been more proud of anything than of how strong she was.

She didn't miss a beat and as depressed and lonely as she still felt, she attended her first year of university. I went to a different school (again, one which had lower standards because I didn't think I was intelligent enough) but we stayed as close as we could, and we slowly grew even closer. Later that year she started talking about a boy that she got drunk with that stayed in her room sometimes. *Siiiigh* Well, someone was BOUND to nab such a perfect girl eventually. Besides she deserved someone that could be physically there for her, and I was thankful for him because he made her happy and he helped her a lot. I really do just want her to be happy.

The summer came and we reunited back at home, growing closer still! She confided in me more and more. But she still had a boyfriend and I knew I couldn't switch schools on a whim for her in that situation. In short order I got a girlfriend myself. Barely. I had just met this girl at work and she admitted she had a crush on me. I told her I wasn't sure if I was over "someone else" (I insisted on being non-descript to avoid overt awkardness), but then thought that I'd be doomed if I didn't at least try to find someone else. So I did. No sparks with this girldriend though, and everytime I was with my girlfriend I almost felt like I was cheating on my bestfriend! Needless to say it didn't last all that long.

We all returned to our respective schools for second year. I fell into a deep depression in my second year, and lost a lot of the progress I had made in my weight loss because of binging to relieve stress and depression (pro tip: don't fucking do that!). I couldn't pinpoint the source of my depression though! Everything else was going well. I loved my classes and I was actually getting smarter! I eventually came to the conclusion that I was lonely, but continued to the fact that I simply didn't have my best friend around anymore; the person I loved most.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
I learned to cope, and summer came again. Me and my friend, yet again, became close. She told me so much, and we always went for coffee or just sat and played chess, or watched movies. We began to feel more comfortable doing things together and without our other friends. She was concerned about her health, and wanted to develop more strength, so she came over frequently and I helped her work out with me! In a similar but more intense fashion as the previous summer, she confided in me, primarily about her boyfreind who she was still with, and his tendency to ignore her when she needed him, while still being supportive generally. The more she explained his mannerisms in their relationship, the more I grew to loathe him!

I felt twinges of pain as she would describe how he would fall asleep on the phone, or simply not phone at all. Or wouldn't say anything when she needed him to. Things I had wanted and fantasized about doing for the past 3 years, and yet he failed completely at even the most rudimentary ability to carry them out! How could he refuse to drive 2 hours to see her, when I would travel half the planet just to see her smile, if she would just tell me she needed me. The unfairness cut me deep. Still I told her it would all be okay, that I was there for her, and that I was sure he would get better (I think I needed to believe it just as much as her!).

But nothing prepared me for that following September when school started again. As much as she had depended on me, I had depended on her. My beliefs, my mind, and my perceptions about society and reality were changing. I had trouble finding meaning in life, but she helped me through it all. We spent so much time together, I realized I had almost deluded myself into thinking we were actually some kind of pseudo-couple. I got a bucket of cold water in my face when she returned to school, and as soon as her and her bf were back in close proximity, she didn't need me anymore. We were still just as close as we had been, but I was hurting. I would wait for hours just staring at the MSN symbol, waiting for her to sign on, but she rarely did.

I became committed to forgetting about her. I developed orchestrated crushes on other girls in my classes. I actively tried to forget about her and my feelings for her. It became such a contradiction between my action and my desire, that I developed a quite physical reaction when I thought about her, or heard from her. It was amplified when I spent prolongued periods of time around her. I recall at New Years my friends crashed at my place and I slept beside her on the floor. I layed awake all night, tormented by the fact that I couldn't put my arm around her, or feel her gorgeous hair, or kiss her neck. It was an unpleasant shivering all over my skin if I so much as thought about her in the 'wrong' way.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
Eight long months of hard, depressing, lonely work, and I began to believe that I was truly over her. This summer came. I stayed in my university-town because I thought it might help me forget about her, and maybe I'd get a girlfriend to aid the process as well. We had often relied on computer and text to communicate simply out of convenience. But she phoned me several months ago. She was so upset. Her boyfriend was being his obtuse self and ignoring her as soon as they moved apart for the summer. We talked for two hours. I made her feel better. Took her mind off her troubles. When we had finished I hung up and stared at the phone for minutes. "Fuck". EVERYTHING I had worked so hard towards melted away in moments. Eight months of work, gone in two hours. The depression, the misery, and the loneliness came back in full force. As it turned out, her boyfriend had actually intended to end their relationship and she had convinced him not to. She now believes they are going to be 'okay'. My blood boiled. It still does. Why should she have to settle for okay when I've tried so hard to be perfect for her? He's not a bad guy, which makes it even harder. He's just not a good boyfriend.

And so I found myself here. I am at a cross roads. I am trying to plan my next course of action, but if there is one thing I've learned from my experiences, it is that inaction is the root. I didn't ask her to prom. I didn't drive my ass to her home when her father was sick. I didn't try to visit her at her university due to distance, and the simple fact that when I see her bf my vision goes red. I write a lot. There are dozens and dozens of pages of letters, monologues, one-liners, scenarios I wish had/would happen/ed. A thousand beautiful things that have never existed outside of my mind. And you know what? Fuck it.

If the pain of rejection is ANYTHING like the pain of stagnation, or even if it's worse, then at least it is a change of pace. I'm terrified. I'm terrified she'll look at me like I'm stupid or crazy. That she'll doubt my sincerity. I'm terrified she'll storm away from me if I try to explain. I'm so irrationally scared of so many things I know she wont do. But I'm more scared of carrying these thoughts and feelings around alone, and I'm more afraid of trying to get into another relationship, while knowing already that I would want it to end. I'm afraid that if she breaks up with her boyfriend she would still want him. I'm afraid I'd never be able to console her and she'd never want to be with me.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
But I am overcoming everything. I am planning and training for a 500 KM cycling trip from my university town to my home town. I know she'll be in my thoughts the whole way. I want to get to her under my own power, to prove to myself that I am worth having her, even if she won't have me. I'm in the best shape of my life because of her. I am happiest when I am with her, or even just thinking about her.

I am going to tell her, one way or another, that I miss her all the time. That she is so insanely important to me that I'd do anything for her, and it kills me to see her in pain yet to not be 'allowed' to hold her or tell her that she's the most perfect thing in the world to me, or tell her how much I need her, and how much I wish she needed me, and how great we could be together.

Frankly, my love and my friendship for her have been so tightly rolled into the same package for so long, than I think the two are hopelessly intertwined, and I can't lose one without the other. I'm not actually convinced there was ever a time when I was or wanted to be JUST her friend. She was the first girl that made me feel like someone cared whether I lived or died, and she's the first girl that I would do anything for. She's more than my best friend. She's my best person.

I don't want hope. Hope is what put me in this situation. I hoped the moment would arise. I hoped I would find a way. I hoped I would find the courage to ask her to prom. I hoped she would magically tell ME that SHE wanted to be with me. I hoped that all the pieces would just fall together. Now I know they either will or wont, with no intervention from hope. I don't need hope, I need the stagnation to end. I need the feelings on the inside of me, on the outside of me. I can't do it alone anymore and I know I'm worth it.

And that is what I want to say to everyone going through the same thing. We're all worth it, because love doesn't deserve to consume you from the inside out. It deserves to be known, no matter the outcome. I'm going to give it to her, and she can either destroy me, or build me up in whatever way she pleases. It is only befitting, since she had such a pivotal role in creating the man I am today, and I trust her with everything, whatever she eventually chooses.

Good luck to everyone who knows the truth that it is NOT the worst thing in the world to know that your bestfriend loves you!
Comment Hidden (show)
This is such a tough situation, i know exactly how you feel... I have been completely in love mith my best friend ever since i met him 6 years ago... We "went out" for a little while but he didnt seem to be comitted to the relationship. He didnt cheat or anything, he just didnt appear to have much time for me. So i plucked up the courage to end it and it broke my heart. After a few weeks we put each other back in the friend zone and we were there about a year... But then other guys became interested and i thought i was over him but nothing ever works out because they arent him. Six years later and two attemts at telling him how i feel failed, we dont see as much of each other any more. Everyone tells me that when we are together its perfect. When we have a fight it will end in tears and we wont talk but it is always shrugged off with a hug and apologies. We can finish each others sentences and are always grinning when we are together. Seeing One without the other is just odd for other people. Ughh its so frustrating because he sends such mixed signals... Its like he doesnt want me but he doesnt want anyone else to have me either. We are so close but so far apart at the same time. But anyway.... My advice to anyone that asks is just tell them... If they don't feel the same and they are truly your best friend... They should understand and continue on as normal... But if they dont take it well and distance themselves from you just ask yourself if thats really the way you should be treated my someone you are so close to. But definately tell them!! It truly does help... It is so much better to tell them because if you don't it really does eat away at you.
Comment Hidden (show)
Good to see I´m not alone on this. I have known this girl about 8 years. We have always got along well. We kissed about 6 years ago but I was only 17 and she was only 16 at the time so we didn´t think much of it. For 4 years she had a serious boyfriend. They lived together and I was unaware that it was an abusive relationship. I knew he was a bit of a d*ck because he threatened me for sending her a text at Christmas one year. They broke up about 2 years ago. We became acquainted once again. Got pretty close as friends. We started hanging out and reminiscing etc etc.
One night in the summer of 2010 we got drunk and kissed again and felt absolutely nothing and laughed and joked about it because we´re such good friends. One time over that summer we slept together in the same bed and cuddled. It was nice. I was happy that I could have a friend like that. Great girl.
In February this year she was on a date with some dude and I went out with them. The guy went home and she stayed out with me. She started complaining about how all he was doing was trying to get into her pants. Then after a string of compliments she kissed me. But she was drunk. A few weeks later I met a girl and I got really close.
My friend (we´ll call her Lucy), was still hanging with me and this girlfriend didn´t like it at all. Any time I had trouble with the relationship Lucy was always there to help. She´s an arts student so at one point she even made me a ceramic frame as a gift to give that girlfriend. That girlfriend dumped me after spending a lot of money to visit her when she was working abroad. She had also cheated on me several times and left me feeling like a right spare t*t. Lucy was there to comfort me.
Over the summer me and Lucy got really close. Spent most of the week together. Got to know each other even better. One night we got really drunk and told each other how we felt about being a couple. We woke up beside each other the following morning severely hungover and really happy. Walked her over to her grandmother´s holding hands and she went home. Within a couple of days, she started having regrets. I didn´t really want things to start like that myself but not much you can do when it had already happened.
A couple of days later we decided to call it quits and just be friends. She stayed in my bed and we watched movies together and stuff but it went no further than that. I was still satisfied.
Comment Hidden (show)
man i was in your situation. but tonight i was at a christmas party with her at my church and i pulled her away from everybody and told her "iv learned if you want somthing go for it" and then i leaned in for a kiss. im still waiting on her to tell me if she wants to go out but try it man!
Comment Hidden (show)
It just happened to me like a week ago, so im sure its normal. My only problem is that her ex and i are really close and he's madly in love with her and idk if i should do him wrong. =(
Comment Hidden (show)
Yes it's very normal and yes if you tell her you love her chances are the friendship will be weird. But I know how you feel. Maybe you should just ask her out and if she says no just play it off like no big deal. When you say it's painfully obvious though, do you mean just to other people or does she also know?
Comment Hidden (show)
-
This is not necessarily true. I went through 2 years of being in love with my best friend. I know how agonizing it is, but holding it in will only make it worse, because eventually you WILL tell her. When I confessed, I did get the response that she does not feel that way about me. It was rough, but because we were true friends we didn't let it effect that area of our relationship. If things are meant to be they will happen. When I decided to go into the army, we talked a lot about how we couldn't live with each other, and it seems like fate is now working to put everything the way it is supposed to be. I sincerely hope we end up together, but even if we don't I will still treasure her as a friend, and I will NEVER lose hope that one day we will be together. Hang in there, don't lose hope, and without coming on like a creepy obsessive guy, let her know how you feel, honesty is a very important part of any relationship. :)
Comment Hidden (show)
Her sister knows, so I'm pretty sure she knows too. But I talk to some third party friends about it.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
that's funny.i'm in love with my best friend sister..she was/is my friend too..i've told her.. actually i've put her an rouse for valentine..and...now we are toghether. try it.it might work.

i'm sorry for my mistakes...my english it's not so good.
Comment Hidden (show)
yeas it is as long as you are a boy! if yur a girl it may ruiin your friendship and a bit wrong!but follow ur heart and if it says tell her then do it !!! you dont know if u dont ask !!!!!! let us no how it goes !!! luckybabesxxxxxxx
Comment Hidden (show)
dude i am in d same situation except she lieks sum 1 else nd it pains me just thinking about it if u find any answer plzz lemme noe cuz dhisz pain just wnt go away =[
Comment Hidden (show)
-
does she come to you with every problem and ask you for help instead of her other boyfriend
Comment Hidden (show)
I have the same problem. I'm in love with my best friend, have been for about 2 years. To make it worse he has recently started going out with one of my good friends. We have both said we love each other and mean alot to one another. We have grown insanley closer recently. Now we hug tightly, hold hands, walk arms around each other, we even cuddle. This is very strange since only afew months ago we would barely hug. It's so hard and getting harder but i can never tell him. i can't risk what we have. So yes you are normal. You need to decide if you are willing to risk what you have for the chance of more. Always be aware it may not work out. good luck
Comment Hidden (show)
It's too bad your situation didn't end up like mine. well it took a course of 8 months for all this to happen, but... it was worth it. well i knew this girl, kinda thought she was a dumb bitch but i seriously wanted to bone her(i know what a pig) then somehow we became friends and then best friends and i grew to respect her.then i grew to really like her alot, but i would hide these feelings from everyone and even go as far as to deny them to myself. but one day i just went a barrage of sweet talk and admitted her love for me and after a series of mishaps not getting into detail, we started dating and we were in love to high points. but i made mistakes and she broke up with me, we still are best friends today and it's obvious we are still in love. as for advice, i would say try and have her see how awesome of a guy you are and get her to chase you. if possible.

but this happened only once for me and prior to that i had lost 4 best chick friends cuz i gained feelings for them. so it's some luck and mostly charm. and finding the right girl. good luck
Comment Hidden (show)
i had a crush on this girl for over a year in high school, but only through apperance.over summer holidays i got depressed, but i didnt think anything of it. when last year of high school started, we got sat next to eachother in a lesson, we had our first convosation, and talked for an hour every week. i soon had a proper crush, as i liked her as a person as well. my depression had also been getting worse over this time. christmas break started , all of my friends were on holiday, so i isolated myself in my bedroom, my depression worsening, just wanting to die. i went on facebook and at 11 pm, this girl starts talking to me. i found out she has depression, and i told her my case as well- difference is she was diagnosed and was soon seeing someone, we traded secrets, phone numbers. i even got her to stop cutting herself for a while.we text eachother everyday after that. all night long. i soon feel in love with her. we were similar people - i was a weird , quiet, loner kid. and she was a odd quiet lonely person. she convinced me to see a doctor so i did, and i also got signed up to therapy.school started again, and i didnt sit next to her anymore, and we NEVER spoke in person.
but we did text eachother the weekends. however i was extremely stressed- i loved her, she doesnt believe in love, i didnt want to loose my closest friend, she was going to a different college, i might loose her anyway. so after 2 months (feburary) i told her i loved her, however she couldnt understand why i told her, how i could develope these feelings so fast, and wished i didnt tell her, as i "know more then anyone how fucked up" she was. i confessed my feelings in text as we never spoke in person. she needed time.
a week later she text me saying its too awkward to be friends, we spoke about it and she didnt know if we could still be friends.but over a couple of weeks we're friends again. now (march) we're even closer, we ocasionaly talk at school briefly, and the other day i invited her to a concert of her favourite comedian/musician. she said she would love to go, but not sure if she can. im expecting a responce by tommoro.
i dont know how we're gonna end up. i mean i still love her, and keeping it inside might be what is dpressing me, and why therapy isnt helping. on the other hand we completely trust eachother, comfort eachother, and are there for eachother, and im the only one who is able to talk her out of suicide.may be she'll like m back, but right now she doesnt believe in love. right now she needs a friend, and thats what ill be. honest to god shes my only reason i dont jump off a bridge myself.hows that for messed up?
Comment Hidden (show)
unfortuanately sweetseventeen is probably right. Same thing happened to me a couple of months ago with one of my female friends. You can ask her out but if she says no don't push it and then pretend like it never happened. I completely took things too far with my friend and long story short, we're not friends anymore, you don't want that to happen.
Comment Hidden (show)
dude, go for it. if she is hot and she likes you. ask her to go get some coffee and let her know
Comment Hidden (show)
I'm in the same situaltion, What are you going to do about it?
Comment Hidden (show)
I've been in love with my best friend for 4 years. It's tough, and I told him I liked him once, and he was surprised- but he was head over heels for another girl. So, you can imagine how that turned out. Our friendship is just now starting to be the same again, so I'd be careful if I were you. But I definately feel you and I wish you the best of luck :]
Comment Hidden (show)
im the guy, 3 or 4 months out of a 4 year relationship, i think im fallin in love with my best friend, shes defnitly not the rebound ive had a few of those already, i know her for bout 6 years but we've been best friends for 3 or 4, she keeps getting into relationships with guys that dont treat her right, always there 4 her but the feelings are starting to get 2 me, , she moved to another state bout3 months ago moving back here nxt month, everytime we c each other its like we havnt seen each other in years, im not sure if she feels da same 4 me as i do for her, things she does say yes but sumtimes no, i could be reading to much into sum things but other friends think otherwise, but i dont wana ruin nething we have, but im 100 percent sure that if she would give me a chance it would b exactly wat were both lookin 4, i feel as if im everything she says dat she wants, she's been gone 3 months and it feels like forever im alwaz thinkin of her, we've talked bout us as more than friends once b4 but we brushed it off, but that was a long time ago and things were very different then, i really dont think i can continue seeing her as only friends
Comment Hidden (show)
-
A few months ago, I told my best guy friend that I used to be in love with him, all throughout the period he was dating my other great friend. He didn't believe me at first, but then promised not to tell anyone. It ended up being a sweet moment making our friendship even stronger. Now we're closer then ever, and I've realized I was in love with our friendship. Maybe you should tell her and just take a risk, you never know what will happen. And don't be odd about it either, find a good way to put it in the conversation...? Good luck.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
thanks heaps, really appreciate it. I'll try and work up the courage to do it. I just don't know if it will achieve anything doing it. But I can't live trying to cover up my feelings all the time. Funny thing is I have told her how the exact same thing has happened to other good friends in the past, just never confessed that it is happening with her!! I am not particularly good friends with the others anymore because of other circumstances, but this time its different cos I know it is a healthy friendship if I could keep it as that. I am really hoping that I am also in love with the friendship more so than her!! Cheers.
Comment Hidden (show)
hi, im jaybow. dont worry. this is totally normal! im goin through the same thing. my best guy friend n i hav been friends 4 like 4 years now, n i love evrythin about him. i no im kinda young 4 this,(im only like 14,) but i really no he`s the 1.(except 4 the fact that i`ve never had a `1`) if u really love her then boy, u go 4 it! if shes really the friend u say she is she`ll except it. and if she doesnt its her loss not yours! with honesty and guts like that she would be stupid not 2 love u bak b/c anygirl b lucky enough just 2 have even known u! well, i hope this helps and i hope everything turns out gr8!good luck n god bless u!

your grl,
jaybow :)
Comment Hidden (show)
i am in the exact situation but i havent told her. after rading everything i have desided not to tell her. but its hard to deal with the pain. does anyone know how to keep the secret but also take away the pain?
Comment Hidden (show)
yeah its happening to me too
since last year
its so hard, and the most confusing part to me is that he treats me really well
we hook up and everything but we never actually talked about it honestly and we never know what might happen
i wish i can just know . i dont know if i should say anything to him or just skip it
Comment Hidden (show)
ya it happened to me too. we were so close tho even when we tried to stop being friends it nevr worked. its been like this since for five years weve been through it all and all i can say is move on b4 everyone thinks ur a couple and completely ruins evrything.
Comment Hidden (show)
Ike
this sucks. i too love my best friend. when i told her we got into a huge fight and she hated me for a long time. then she got into a fight with her new bf and now its like before i even said anything. she gives off all the signs that she wants a relationship. everyone tells us we should be together but i have to ignore it. she flip flops all the time saying that maybe we should have dated then going back and saying it wouldn't be a good idea. i am afraid to be in a relationship now because what if she flips again. someone help all these poor people out, its insane how often this happens.
Comment Hidden (show)
I, too, am in love with my best friend. Tell her if you want to risk your friendship, but be careful. I'm pretty sure many people understand, but I will wait to tell him after he has moved on from 'her'. They aren't in a relationship or anything, and she treats him like crap (taking her anger out on him, breaking promises to him, ditching him to hang out with people he doesn't like, just being an over all bad friend), and he's too infatuated to see how bad she is for him. He doesn't realize how much I do to please him. I always think of him, as he does for me, but he still seeks advice from me as to get her to be his girlfriend, and it kills me. He and I spend so much time together and share everything... I mean, come on, we layed in my bed all day and played fear2, just talking about random personal things. He tells me he loves me, and I love him, too, but in a different way. He has no idea how much it hurts to remember that he says the same thing to her, even though she doesn't say it back. He's smarter than that, I know it... But he doesn't see what's going on, and it tears me apart inside.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
Man I am in love with my best friend too. Ive known her since last august which we went out once and after that everytime i asked her 2 do somethin she always seemed like she was makin a bogus excuse not to go out with me. so i stopped trying (now that i know her better i c they werent bogus excuses, she has a bad home life with her parents) but she kept callin and textin me so i thought she just wanted to be friends. I wathed her go out with some real jerks since then but this past febuary she told me we couldnt talk anymore cuz it was weird since she was dating someone, she also said that she had had really strong feelings for me and thats what made it weird well that and the fact i had started seeing someone else(at that time i didnt realize i loved her). Then a month later she called me wanting to hang out. I was drunk and drove over to her house at 2:30 in the mornin tellin her how i felt and that i broke up with the other girl cuz i cared about her too much to even look at other girls. I tried to kiss her before i left but she turned and said on the cheek u know im still dating johnathon. Well after that i was textin her the next mornin and i could tell she was worried that it was gonna make things twice as weird so i told her i was drunk and didnt know what i was sayin lol. But i knew exactly what i said and meant every bit of it. We became bestfriends after that and still are (we even tell each other we love one another and talk every single day without missin a beat), but im still in love with her and she knows it but neither of us wanna ruin our friendship for somethin that may not work out even tho i know without a doubt i could never spend enough time with her. I guess im just waitin 2 see what happens but its REAL painfull man im tellin ya if u r willin 2 risk tha friendship just tell her. Cuz every mminute of everyday i think about her and wish things had of went differently from the beggining. good luck man
Comment Hidden (show)
I think its normal I've known my best friend for 10 yrs n just a few yrs ago I realized that I lived her n we have this great relationship n the thing is I have no idea Wat she thinks does she even like me or not has she ever even thot about it n is say go for it n ask her cause I know if.it eats me up it has to eat others up to not know n even if its bad at least u no longer have to wonder just make sure u stay friends no matter what u never wanna ruin a friendship
Comment Hidden (show)
-
Mines suppose to say loved not lived
Comment Hidden (show)
I think it's normal....
if my best friend told me he loved me it would totally make me so happy.... I'd say go for it, tell her :)
Comment Hidden (show)
If you really are best friends and are as close as me and my best friend you would be able to tell him how you feel and have a conversation about whether or not he feels the same way. My best friend got drunk last night and finally told me that he likes me. I have a boyfriend and I didn't want to mess things up with us and with me and my boyfriend. but last night i told him i needed a break and i texted my best friend and thats when he told me.... he hasn't texted back since but i know he will.
We had just talked recently about us, and if we ever dated and we both didn't want to mess things up. But the truth is the best relationships come from friendships. The reason why some mess the friendships up is because they aren't close enough in the beginning.I trust my best friend more than i trust my boyfriend of 5 months.
Comment Hidden (show)
You like her because shes your best friend and she understands you and likes you for who you are (or else she wouldnt be your friend) so I think its normal.
Comment Hidden (show)
i fell for my uni housemate fairly early in my first year, and am now living with her and two other people in my second year. I really love her, and it kills me when i think other guys try to flirt with her. But i dont know whether to tell her. I feel its been to long, at first for some reason i thought we would end up together so i never told her how i felt, but nothing ever really happened. Im scared that if i tell her and she says no and it becomes weird then it will be horrible and awkward for the rest of the year given that we live in such close proximity to each other. I just dont know how she feels about me, shes a bit shy as a person so i dont know if she likes me but tries to hide it (as i do with her, quite a few people have asked me if we're together or if i like her in that way, and i always say no, so that they get of my case becuase i hate to appear vulnerable and insecure). But i always think that if she say hands me something then she touches me just a bit more than would seem necessary, but im not sure if thats just in my head. She also always asks me who im texting or messaging if im doing it for any slightly prolonged period of time, which makes me think she might be jealous if its a girl or whether shes just interested/little bit nosey. She laughs at alot of what i say, even if its not hugely funny she'l do a little chuckle, but again i dont know if its because she likes me or becuase shes being polite. There was also this one time before we broke up for half term when she and i spent the night (after a slightly drunk night) talking in her room and she cuddled up to me in her bed. I know a lot of yo will say go for it because of how i wrote this, but im just so unsure if she does like me, or its just me wishing she does, so i interpret everything she does as a possible signal? It hurts so much to be around her but bottling it up, could really use some advice, cheers.
Comment Hidden (show)
i was in the same spot. Best friends with a chick, liked her, confessed, got rejected. shes had a lot of boyfriends and ive never had one. it really hurt...
we're still friends but im always depressed. it sucks.
i say tell her. but be prepared just incase she doesnt feel the same..
i wish you all the best and hope you get from her, what i had wanted.
Comment Hidden (show)
i have the same situation as you do man... by the way me and my bestfriend started to get close to each other was in highschool... i courted her before but chosen the other guy(a friend).. that was OK i just tot of it as a puppy love... but 1 year had past and we got to know each other for awhile...and stated like going out together with or w/o other girl friends... i was always with him when she was alone and sad... time passed by..she got into new relationship...and i had new realtionship also...but before that i was hoping to have a greater chances of us together...we stoped communicating to each other for awhile..she got pregnant..got separated from his husband..and now every time we see each other shes always being nice and sweet with me.. and to think that all she was doing with me makes me feel like falling in love again with her..

my girlfriend saw some pictures of us together...
grabing my hands and making fun on me..
my GF got jealos...sometimes makes a start of a not nice conversation..
but before..we slept together but not made anything like gf and Bf do...
but im sill in a hunging position weather is it love or just friendship shes having in me. i dont know how to start a conversation with her to make my head clear..but years before we kissed..but since then we never spoke of anything like feelings of us was true.
Comment Hidden (show)
its totally normal. i secretly am in love with my best friend. hes always there for me and makes me laugh. i trust him with everything. but, like you, im to shy to tell him. but i will tell him eventually. so you should tell her. (:
Comment Hidden (show)
MrP
The comments and this question inspired me to confront my best friend (of 4 years + girl) over lunch today.
It felt so good to get the feeling of bottled emotions off my chest
She admitted we would be a fantastic couple
However due to her dating a friend of mine about a year ago (things with him aren't the same) she doesnt not want to loose me as her best friend.
This is true it would be a big hit to loose her.
Although i think alot of people on here don't think that they may just not be attracted to you? It's what I believe to be the case here.
Also girls being notoriously hard to please know when the right thing shows its head, yet they don't like taking the risk and going for it
I cant see myself getting over this in the near future
I wish everyone who hasn't confronted their best friend the best of luck and any others who are reading this
May it go better for you :) x
Comment Hidden (show)
3 years ago I met this girl. We became friends but never really hung out outside our circle of friends. We didn't even become really close until about a year ago but I always had a little crush on her. By chance we lived together during my last semester in college and it was amazing. We became best friends almost right away. I knew it would happen and like I thought I fell for her hard. It took a few months to find out she was just as crazy about me as I was her. We talked about the risks of ruining our friendship but knew that we would never be able to stay just friends. Now we are very much in love and I can tell you that it is better than anything I could have ever imagined. Basically what i'm getting at is if you really are best friends with someone of the opposite sex and you are single (something that really can't happen if your in a relationship) then you have to go for it. If you hold in your feelings and watch her date other people and talk to you about it I promise you will go insane. It will consume your life like nothing before. Be a man (or a woman I guess) and tell her (or him) how your feel or regret it the rest of your life. If you don't think it will work she is not truly your best friend. Me and my girlfriend have never had a fight after knowing each other for 3 yrs but I know that if we ever did we would work through it.
Comment Hidden (show)
I was talking to my bestfriend last night about how everyone always thought we're in love and still do. After a while we admited that we actually used to like each other but never said anything in fear of ruining our friendship. Later we relized that they're right and we really do love each other but we agreed we'd wait because she lives far away and neither have a car so we'd never see each other and my ex still has fealings for me I guess because when I asked her if she thought we loved eachother she like flipped out at me and still gets jealous when I come close to flirting with another girl and me and my bestfriend don't wanna make her mad/sad so we're gonna wait awhile and see how it all turns out :)
Comment Hidden (show)
For 5 years my bf had been in love with me and i knew it(he had told me). At one point I realised i was in love with him too. When we made up, HE realised he wasn't in love with me all this time...:/ He hasn't talked to me ever since.
Messing up friendship with love...really really hurtful stuff
Comment Hidden (show)
You should definitely go for it. Life is too short, and you will always wonder what if. I met my best friend at my internship and we quickly got along, and ever since that we got very close. We both have been through the breakups, the family troubles, the friend dramas, and we always lean in on one another for support. And one day we were at our internship goofing around and acting dumb and he just kissed me and it was magically. We got closer and closer till this past weekend he just looked at me and told me he loved me. I would have never expected us to be together ever and neither did he.
THINGS HAPPEN.
These past few days have been great for me.
You just never know, and its just a risk you can take.
Comment Hidden (show)
You should find out about it first. because if you find out that she is head over heels for someone else your heart will feel broken. I just recently have my best friend make me feel like shit because he told me that this girl is hot but that doesn't mean im not pretty. you don't want to here anything like that because when I heard that it made me thing he thinks that I don't compare to this girl. Now i will never be conformable around him again.
Comment Hidden (show)
god listening to you guys is totally making me cry. i am in love with my best friend, i want to spend the rest of my life with her but she is asexual (which does not matter to me) and probably aromantic (which is a problem cuz that means she doesn't date). i talked to her over a year ago and that's how i know that stuff but i haven't talked to her again... still hoping there is a way... she is amazing.
Comment Hidden (show)
Alright so this one is a bit of a doozy...if I could get any advice on this at all I would truly appreciate it. It's gonna be a bit lengthy, so bare with me. I am 20 years old now, almost 21. I met this girl (Sarah is her name) when I was 14. From the moment I met her I had an unusual feeling about her. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was playing touch football with my brothers and their friends. She was a mutual friend and just happened to be there. I didn't even know her, but right away we started teasing each other. Eventually we were introduced. I remember going to bed that night and thinking about her. Over the years we became very close. I had like her for pretty much all of my sophomore year in high school. However it seemed that my feelings were never to be returned, so I gave up on it and decided I'd rather have her as a friend than nothing at all. Now she goes to school an hour and a half away. I see her maybe once or twice every couple of months. She's home for summer so I see her more then. Recently we went out to dinner together, as we usually do when she's home. She sent me a text saying she wanted to see me etc. We went out and had a great time, as we have always done. We've always clicked very well, and have always had a special bond that I have never quite understood. There are many girls that I am good friends with, but the way I care about her is not the same. That I know for sure.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
Anyway back on track. We went out to dinner and had a good time. We talked about what we look for in people etc. On the way home the song "Let Her Cry" by Hootie and the blowfish came on. This song has always reminded me of her, and I actually learned how to play it on my guitar for this reason. I told her this, and I could tell that it touched her. She is normally a very talkative person, but she became very quiet. When I dropped her off, I went to hug her. It was in my car so it was one of those "over the divider" front seat deals. But instead she gave me a tiny kiss on the neck. I'm guessing maybe she meant to hit my cheek. The thing is, this is not something she has EVER done before. Ever. I would remember it. I kind of smiled like an idiot and said goodbye. She got out rather quickly and that was that. The next day I talk to my good friend Stephanie how is one of her best friends. I ask Stephanie about Sarah, and if she ever had feelings for me. Turns out there were several times, but it was never when I liked her, so nothing ever came of it. I was overjoyed and yet depressed to hear this. Sarah has a boyfriend at school who I know she really cares about. She has always said that she would never want to risk our friendship for a relationship in case it doesn't work out. According to Stephanie, she had felt this way several times. Stephanie is a good friend of mine, and an honest person so I know she isn't lying or anything.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
My question is what should I do? Sarah only has a couple semesters left of school...I'm thinking maybe wait until she gets out of school and comes back home before trying anything? I would never want to date someone far away. And I would never tell her while she's dating someone. How would you guys handle this? Any and all advice would be appreciated, and if you have any questions please feel free to ask if you think it will help you help me any more.
Comment Hidden (show)
My best friend and me told each other how we felt and it was good for a while we even had a relionship but he ended up breaking my heart because we had become to close... So jus be careful if something dose goon between you tat you still hav yourself because right now tat what is causeing you to fall in love with her.. And it normal because you are so close just be careful...
Best of luck ;)
Comment Hidden (show)
im in completely the same situation. i became friends with my best friend a year ago, we got on unbelievably well, everyone (myself) included thought something would happen. i asked her out, she turned me down, completely gutted. she still wanted to be friends, so i agreed, but for the last 11 odd months i still find myself completely in love with her. it is crushing to have to hear her talk about all her previous exs and new boyfriends, when ive never had anyone. shes absolutely amazing and i dunno what i would do without her, but i cant do anything at all, as if i tell her she will just reject me again. ive tried to move on but any other girls just dont compare or wouldnt go near me. right now she is out with a guy who she really likes, and it is destroying me. maybe one day things will change, but i really dont think they will. its a shitty situation for anyone to be in, reading all these comments has made me feel like im not weird or the only one who feels this way. i hope it works out for you and everyone else whos been in this situation longer than me, because it clearly isnt going to work out for me.
Comment Hidden (show)
I think it is normal to eventually fall in love with them. I mean, I have been in love with the same guy for 12 years, that's a long time :) I hope for your good will.
Comment Hidden (show)
don't ever tell him/her that you like them and it's ok, and try to endure! ever!! you will become dreppesed fores and that is NOT attracive! tell them and go for it! with all you have and don't give up easily! uderstand that there's no thing as compromising with being friends since you don't really want to; thus you will fail. don't be afraid that you don't succeed, and that you friendship will end because it has already ended. become a person you want, strive to admire yourself. and when you do, your other half will admire you also. and make them realise that it's completely normal for you to be together! do it your way;) all you need is will, and love is going to power it!
Comment Hidden (show)
Yeah, I am totally in a similar situation. Unfortunately, both of us are married and I am certain he doesn't feel the same way and that is fine. I have determined years ago that if the only way I could have him in my life was as friend then that would be how it is. Still though I hope that one day I find the courage to tell him. Even if he doesn't feel the same way, that way I will quit thinking all the what if's in the world. I think he was put in my life to help me grow as a person which I feel like I have changed so much because of him. He will always be apart of me no matter what and I am greatful for the friendship and opportunities we have had to get to really know each other. I am also very greatful that he has stayed faithful to his wife and that he has helped me to stay faithful to my husband. I really respect that.
Comment Hidden (show)
I told my best friend I had feelings for her about a year ago now. At first she said she didn't know how she felt, but we'd kiss every so often - i guess you could call it experimenting. But it was all confusing stuff, so over the summer I decided to get over her, of course i never got over her completely but just so we could move on without it affecting our friendship.

After vacation we were better friends than ever, she was always so happy to see me, until one point she asked me to kiss her again and told me she'd been thinking about me all summer. I knew this would make all my feelings come rushing back so I was hesitant, but still went along with it, and as predicted they did. The next night we went out with some friends, and she was telling loads of strangers that we were a couple, at one point she even kissed me on the dance floor. When we got back to the house spent the night together.

The next morning, as I feared she was being weird with me and ignoring me. I assumed this was because she was confused about what had happened. We spoke about it, i told her I loved her and she said she didn't know how she felt. We never spoke about it again, but my feelings never changed. Eventually because of my strong feelings, there was a lot of tension between us. Both of us got agitated so we had a fight and fell out. We didn't speak for 6 months despite being in the same boarding school. Even when we have spoken I am never sure if she likes me at all.

I'm so glad I've found other people who are going through the same sort of problem. I understand how difficult it is to deal with feelings that you have no control over. I acted on these feelings and although it was worthwhile short term it has ruined our relationship. The worst thing is, I still care about her more than anything in the world and would do anything for her even though we still hardly speak. Am i being pathetic and holding onto something that i should have let go of a long time ago?
Comment Hidden (show)
i'm in love with my best friend, but he's been with his girlfriend for 2 years and i been with my boyfriend only 5 months...we've been through a lot together in our friendship but never fight. i have always had feelings for him but i can't tell him and i probably never will because our friendship is so perfect. i can tell him everything except the one thing i wish i could tell him the most. i'm scared he won't feel the same so don't tell your best friend unless you know you'll hear what you want. its not worth loosing your best friend over, love can wait. he may not be in love with me like i am with him but i know he loves me as a friend and i can accept that, but they always say you fall in love with your best friend..i hope i can tell him one day :)
Comment Hidden (show)
I love him so much and I would do anything to be with him. He drives me to parties and hangouts all the time and we always talk and talk and i neverrr want to get out of the car. Even if I am with another guy I am always thinking about him. This has been going on for about a year now. The other day we were in the car and he said that he is going to tell his kids about me one day. I melted. I want to say something to him soo badly and tell him how i feel but the only thing that is holding me back is the fact that he dated my really good friend. What should I do?
Comment Hidden (show)
Hey there i an in the same ship i 'd say. in in love with my best friend 1 year now ... i even have her advises on how to do better with her boyfriend ... they broke up but she stills like him ... she gives of hugs and he even calls me 'my love ' some times . i really can't get her out of my mind ...the way she talks , the way she acts is just perfect... i don't want to lose her from best friend in any way ... but i love her so much :(..please give of an advise , what should i do ???
Comment Hidden (show)
I have known my best friend for about 3 years now, we met in high school as juniors. We'll say his name is James. This story I am hoping helps you out a lot.

For the longest time we both had no feelings for each other whatsoever, we were just super close. We hung out, drove to each others house, went on crazy adventures, smoked as much as we could ahaha. For the most part we were with other friends, but I felt like we were always the main attraction with everyone else anyway, they wanted to chill with us because we were both crazy haha. We hung out alone a lot too. His family loved me and accepted me as their own.

Eventually the summer of my senior year I realized he was the sweetest human being I ever knew, but he was emotionally unstable in ways, and often talked about his ex girlfriend. She screwed him up pretty bad. So I tried to ignore it, I told no one and tried to get over him. Then I went to college. I was in a new town and I wanted to start a new life. I tried to ignore my feelings because I didn't want to hurt our friendship and I thought he wasn't over his ex.

I started talking to this guy at school, who was a real sweetheart and a lot like me. I did like him, but I was more deluding myself that I like him more than I did my best friend. Which is a straight lie. I eventually told James about it, and the next day he drove up to my school and told me he's loved me for the longest time but never had the courage to tell me. I told him that I loved him too, but I was so torn apart thinking I liked this other kid at college, excited just to be branching out in a totally new place, that I fucked up and told James I didn't know what I wanted and I needed time.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
I knew I broke his heart. I was emotionally torn. LIterally I was depressed for days. I actually told the other guy about what happened, and of course our short relationship did not last long after that. I told myself I was content with being single and I focused myself on everything else around me. I still talked to James but there was tension no doubt.

Over time though our relationship got much better and we became super best friends. I lost my feelings for him for awhile in the turbulence, partly because I just buried it all inside. As were becoming best friends again though, we were always comfortable around each other, never judging, always laughing. One time, for his best friend who wanted to date this girl I knew, I agreed that James and I would go as a sort of double date. But it ended up being very romantic, and as the night went on we both knew what we wanted.

The next day, we were high and watching TV. We joked about life and whatever the hell else. He started telling me about his family issues and things that we bothering him so he laid his head on my shoulder. I knew he was too afraid of what would happen and too respectful to try anything. So I thought, "Would I always wonder? Why not just go for it and see what happens?" Because I knew from the first time around that ignoring it will only make the feelings worse.

So I held his hand, and looked at me and asked me if I was okay. And I just kissed him. It was the most wonderful kiss in the world. We stayed in each others' arms and just kissed all night and it was beautiful. This was my sophomore year now and I had to go back to school the next day. Of course he told me he literally had a panic attack the next day thinking he screwed up everything. I thought that was adorable. But now we are literally the two happiest people in the world, and we couldn't be more perfect for each other.

I'm sorry this is so long, but essentially what I'm saying is, don't ever just let it go. But don't push the subject either. Tell the person how you feel, but if they appear uncomfortable, let it go like it it wasn't a big deal. If it was meant to be it will most definitely happen, even if it might take awhile to get past both of your blindness. Just letting it get old will eat away at you forever and in other relationships, but pushing the subject will only push someone else away. Tell her, and if she loved you too it will happen. Good luck <3
Comment Hidden (show)
I recently broke up with my obessive, controlling ex boyfriend.
His tried to change who i am sence we started dating, i was no longer allowed to talk to any of my friends espcially this one person, which was my best friend.
I recently live with my father and my mother lives quite a long ways. My best friend lives where my mother is and i strongly miss him.
I visit my mom once and a while and whenever i was there i would get confused of who i really loved. My controlling ex boyfriend told me not to contact him in anyway because he was in love with me. He never told me he was until a couple weeks ago.
I've loved him for over a year now and i can't get my mind to stop thinking of him.I finely realized that his the one for me and not my ex boyfriend, I truly think dating him was a big mistake.
Comment Hidden (show)
I'm amazed at how many people are in the same situation, and how long it stems back for some. Like almost everybody here I'm in love with my best friend. I almost call it fate, because we should not have met the day we did. I was supposed to work, but got the day off from completing my job, and things just fell into place.

We met 2.5 years ago. We actually didn't hit it off right away, we talked most of the day we met, but after that we didn't speak again for almost 3 months, because I didn't think much of it, I thought I'd never see her again. However I was told by my friends that she was asking about me, so I decided to get in touch with her. Funny how it happens, after we reconnected I found her to be a little annoying, and found myself not wanting to talk to her.

But one day things changed and she started to grow on me, and we started talking everyday. It turns out we ended up hooking up (mutual, we both wanted it) but things kind of fell apart after that. After a short period we started talking again everyday, and I was told by my friends she had a huge crush on me, but I did not reciprocate the feelings. Fast forward a few months later and I start to realize I too have these feelings, but she no longer has them for me. I feel like I missed out on an amazing opportunity. I spilled my guts and told her everything, only to find out she decided she doesn't want a relationship at this point in her life. I know it's not healthy to wait, but I can't help but feeling she's the one. The physical and emotional connection is there, but I can only dream about her having those feelings again.

Here's to all of us that love our best friends, I hope that each and everyone of us gets what we dream to have. Good luck to all. Anybody have any success stories?
Comment Hidden (show)
-
Well mines kind of a success story... I had a crush on a guy and another guy who kind of hung around with us at school had a major crush on my friend. The guy who liked my friend (Jack)... Well... I had a mini crush on him, but not really, then he started asking me for advice about this girl. He loved her, and still does... We got close in June 2011 and I tell him everything, and we talk about this girl (he asked her out and she said yes but then she screwed him round and was a total bitch then dumped him and broke his heart) all these months, hes been going on and on about her... And my feelings for him have grown and I forgot about the other guy... It gets to end of September, and there was no doubt in my mind that I loved him, I told him I had a crush on him in early September and he didn't believe me. Before that we'd send hearts on Facebook chat and say 'I love you', but only as friends, though mine always meant more, but I didn't tell him. It got to early December, and I absolutely had to tell him, so I did. He doesn't have feelings for me because he still loves the other girl, but everyone thinks we're dating. He was totally cool with it, and he's trying to get over the girl to hurt me less, and hopefully he'll star having feelings for me. He's the most amazing guy in the world, and even after a breakup I know we woudnt break friends because our friendship is so strong. So it's a semi success!! :)
Comment Hidden (show)
i've been my bff best friend ever since we were 12.i realized dat m in love with him when i was 15 and m still now..m 21..going to be 22..we are still bff..he knows everything..every single thing m feeling but still he just cant decide..i told him dat i dont want to be with him anymore if he ever find his significant other..he just wont let me go..how m i supposed to live sharing the same man with another girl??..we shared every single moments,things in our lives and i do understand y he couldnt let me go but he himself couldnt decide..its almost 10 years of our bff-ship and the feeling is still warm and fuzzy seem as if it was the 1st time i realized dat m in love with him..things may seem complicated but m not gonna give up on him..i'll keep waiting for another 10 years maybe..so do u..please dont give up..we may cry and keep asking why but God shows us the way in his mysterious ways.so GO FOR IT! XD..*ps - so many touching stories of u guys being in love with ur bff..yeah,i've been there,and m still there :)
Comment Hidden (show)
I think at one point or another we all fall for our best friends. We see them everyday, they know our secrets (except for maybe the fact that we're in love with them), they know who we really are.

I'm also in love with my best friend. We've only known each other for a year but we've both said it's felt like longer than that. Similar to many of you, I fell in love with him when he had fallen for someone else. He said she was his ideal, the girl of his dreams. This was six months ago, and even though he says he's gotten over her, I know deep down he still has feelings for her. It hurts me when he's hurt, it overpowers my own feelings. I just want to be there to support him, to let him know he's not alone.

We're living together right now and the feelings have intensified. Sometimes I feel like if we weren't living together, would my feelings slowly fade? But at the same time I can't bring myself to let go of him.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
He thinks of me like a guy even though I'm a girl. Maybe I should be satisfied that he trusts me so much, that he considers me his closest friend in this city. Sometimes the things he does causes me to misunderstand. Even to people who don't know us, most think we're a couple by the way we act with each other.

However, he's stated time after time what type of girls he likes, what his exes were like and I feel like he knows my feelings for him and he's reminding me to stop falling for him.


Recently, he's been really stressed and is acting more and more distant. It's starting to feel like he's taking me for granted, knowing that I'll always be there for him. I don't want to play the game of moving away or ignoring him because I want him to realize how important I am, I think he'd get along fine without me.
There's a reason why people become best friends, it's because there's an instant connection. I've daydreamed about a future together, loving him I can't picture a future with anyone else.

We both have annoying traits that we can't stand about each other. But I can't stay angry at him ever. He disappeared last year for three months to concentrate on improving his work and to pursue this girl. I told myself to forget him, that crying over someone who could leave me and abandon our friendship without a moment's notice wasn't worth it. This failed, I couldn't do it. I pretended nothing happened, and this is where we are now: living together, seeing each other day, talking.

I came so close to telling him about what I felt during our vacation with some friends. But he would disappear again if I did, he's the type of person who would avoid this awkward situation, especially if he didn't reciprocate those feelings.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
We were discussing plans to leave the house we currently live in after our roommates leave and move to an apartment closer to work since it'll just be the two of us in the city. But I'm reconsidering it now. Living with eight other people, I can distract myself from thinking about him, but in such close quarters I don't know if I would be able to handle it. There's always the consideration too, of if he gets a girlfriend during the four months we'll be apart because of work assignments.

I don't want to risk our friendship, but I can't bring myself to push him away. I don't know what to do anymore.
Comment Hidden (show)
So me and my friend have been best friends for roughly 7 years. I say seven years but there was a period of about 2 years where we didn't speak. But I'll get to that later. So, let's start from the start. I was about 12/13 years old and had just moved to a new school. She was the same age and had just moved there too. we didn't instantly click or anything like that, this isn't a movie. But after a couple months of having lessons together we formed a decent friendship, which, over the coming years, culminated when I was 16 and she was 17. I was never massive on school and would skip basically every lesson but there was one lesson I'd go to with out fail, Wood Tech. And she was the only reason I went. She kept me grounded throughtout so much of my school like, it's unbelievable. We would spend entire days together just chilling, she had a thing for 'tattooing' me with a Biro. All over my back, chest stomach, arms, everything. We'd just sit in this park talking about absolutely nothing, listening to music and fantasizing about life. Then it all changed. She started seeing one of my friends and this was about the same time I joined the Army. I didn't kick off that she was seeing one of my friends, I let them do what they wanted but I pretty much didn't speak to her for two years.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
I know she didn't mean anything malice by it and I hate myself for being so jealous, but fuck it, what're you going to do? Anyway, that relationship lasted about a year and a half and in this time I had finished training and was posted in Cyprus. When I got back about seven months ago we started talking again, just, completely out of the blue. And for the first time in three years I felt truly happy. It was somehow like we hadn't missed a single day. We just managed to pick our relationship up and start off where we left it. But some things had changed. She had a job, I obviously wasn't around all the time. And she had a boyfriend, who, incidently, was also in the Army. Anyway, we were at a party one night and I met her boyfriend, he seemed nice and everything but he just didn't really treat her nice. Well, not the way I'd treat her. So I was pissed, but before I could even think about swinging a punch he left our party (Leaving my friend) and went to another girls party. And my friend just lost it. She started smashing bottles in the garden, throwing glasses and just broke down with her hands all cut and I found her all alone, bleeding and crying in the garden.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
It was seriously the worst split second of my life when I first saw her. Anyway, I took her home, cleaned her up and dealt with her wounds and took her to bed. I slept on the couch and the next morning I felt I had to tell her. Come the following morning, I wake up find her crying with a letter in her hand. I saw my backpack was open on her desk and instantly knew what she'd found. I hadn't told her about my Afghanistan Tour that's coming up in seven months time because, honestly, it's fucking difficult. So, now the time to tell her I love her had passed because we had to deal with this. ANYWAY cutting this long story shorter. I eventually told her how I feel. Unfortunately it was over a phone because I was miles away but I just had to get it off my chest because it was literally making me ill. She said stuff like 'I never knew there was anything like this between us, there was a time when I would have given everything to be with you'. Which as you can imagine hurt so much more than just saying it wont happen. But when I got back everything was the same. Like I hadn't said anything. But what hurts the most is that we always talk about marriage and kids and stuff and what we'd name them etc and we always tell each other that we leave one another but then she goes and says she didn't know there was 'that' between us? Then a couple nights ago, at a party, it was almost like I wasn't there. So I just got disgustingly drunk and broke my hand. But that's off topic. I dunno if any of what I just said makes any sense but I'm deploying in 7 months time and need this sorted before I go. Any advice and help would be a life saver. Thanks, guys.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
(Sorry about three posts, it seems I wrote a lot.)
Comment Hidden (show)
I have no clue as to what to do. I've been like best friends with this girl for almost 10 years now. She's the best and I love everything about her. I've always tried to be there for her and cheer her up when she's in a crappy mood . I've had some feelings towards her in the past, but I've usually brushed them aside. This time it seems different. Part of me wants to tell her, but the other part of me doesn't want to ruin a good thing. Its not fear of rejection, but fear of awkwardness or losing her.

I'm at a total loss and am beating myself up over it
Comment Hidden (show)
Of Course It's Normal. My Bestfriend got sent away and i was heartbroken, and now he came back. i've recently learned some new info. i learned that he has a child, and when i found this out i couldn't look at him. i wasn't mad about the whole child thing i was mad that he didn't trust me enough to tell me, because i've trusted him with everything. I've got to him for so much and i trust him with my life, but he didn't trust me enough. So about 4 Weeks ago i told him how i felt. that, i love him. i've known him for 4 years, and we've always joked around saying as we got older we would get married, and as years passed by i've gained feelings for him. That moment that i told him how i felt, things changed. Everything is some how different but yet still the same. He told me that im a beautiful women and caring and outgoing and he loves me too but he can't be with me because he wont jeopardize our friendship and what we have. I do understand but i still can't hold back how i feel for him. I think that him and i could take a chance and try things but he thinks otherwise, and i cant do anything to change his mind. So my situation with my bestfriend might be a little different than any one else's but who you fall for you can't change that, you love who you love. if you think its the best to tell him or she then go for it, but whatever choice anyone makes then it could end either good or bad. But in the end its as normal as going and getting some coffee.
Comment Hidden (show)
I met this girl. We began a conversation. We worked together and became friends. I fell for her, but never said anything as she was with another good friend of mine at the time. They split up but I couldn't bring myself to seriously move on her out of loyalty to him. We were all very close, you see. She got into all sorts of mischief, I still really cared for her but another girl turned up and I entered this lengthy 15 year relationship, which I sort of regret now. The girl I'd begun that conversation and myself, we lost touch.
After my marriage ended i met with my friend again, i found her via another mate. It's been a few years but I absolutely know this person is the most important person I met in my life. She's an inspiration to me, I love her so much. I tried to tell her this last summer and she said she didn't want a relationship etc, we didn't lose each other and I'm very happy about that. I thought telling her would clear the air, but in recent weeks I've fallen for her again. It's very difficult, but I guess I must live with it, as I love her enough to be able to try to live with this. I wish she would show me she felt different, and I know she cares for me, but my wishes aren't enough, and it gives me sadness. But she is still that special person in my life, and I console myself with that truth. Unrequited love. What a drag. But it's real, it's mine and I'm happy she's in my life, though I can't imagine anyone could replace her. She's the most remarkable person. I wish things were different, but love means accepting people for who they are, so I'm doing my best to care without demand. I'm a foolish romantic I suppose.
Comment Hidden (show)
Hello everyone,

I am in love with my best friend for a long time now and many things had happend in that period. Because of my insecureness I never got the balls to tell her about my feelings. After many ups and downs she met my other best friend... After a month or two they got a relationship. He knew I had feelings for her but stabbed me in the back. But still I was so glad for them because they were happy... After a while they broke up. And now she is single again. We had a very nice confersation after that, she told me that she loved me, but in another way... :( I don't know what to do, should I tell her? I mean she is everything to me. I don't want to lose her, but at the other hand it has been torture to hide my feelings for her... I am getting so depressed sometimes because of this. And she always notices that there is something wrong, but I can't tell her.... :(
Comment Hidden (show)
What I really need to do is get this off my chest. I've known this girl for about 4 years and when I knew her, she was in a relationship that was on the downward spiral. It ended, then rekindled for a little while. Then completely died. At this time I just viewed her as a friendly aquaintence, however, the last two years of high school, and this year in which we start university, I have become really attached to her, so much that I would call her my best friend. It was in the 11th grade that I began to feel romantic feelings for her, but I though it was just a little crush and that it would end in time. She then got another boyfriend, which was very serious, lasting almost 2 years, until she broke up with him about 2 months ago. Now, as she got with this guy, another good friend of mine, who I also suspected liked this girl, left the group for a very long while, and only rejoined recently (after hearing that she had broken up with her long term boyfriend). It was during his absence that my romantic feelings from year 11 came back, and lasted though my final year of high school all the way up until now, the month of the start of uni. With her recent breakup, my feelings strengthened with the hope that I may still have a chance, and for a while I was very happy.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
We talk, a lot, and while we don't really hang out a lot alone per se, at group gatherings and parties we always seem to end up being the ones each other talks to the most (at least on my end), and at school we were often inseparable. She texts frequently, not me, but her other friends and relatives, while I have never been a texter. She constantly calls me her bro, and best friend, and this friendship is one of the most important things in my life, and probably is the most important thing in my life in all my living years, but this feeling of love is overwhelming me. Recently, the old friend who left the group came back, and this girl and this guy, who is also a good friend of mine, have begun to re-kindle their friendship and, I suspect, more. Before his departure, the three of us were inseparable, the 'three musketeers' so to speak. With his return, and her focus on re-igniting this friendship (and perhaps more) I have begun to feel extremely heartsick and jealous. I've attempted to begin texting her more frequently, but I've never been good at it, so it has always failed. All I really want to do is tell her how I feel, but I don't want to ruin this friendship, one which has been a solid place to stand on in times of stress or anxiety. She goes out to town a fair bit and parties with her girlfriends, and is very open about her going over to other male friends places and spending a day with them, but I have always been pretty shy around a girl one-on-one, so I've never really had the courage to ask her out to hang or go see a movie together alone. But the vibe that we are best friends is there, and my feelings are highly unlikely to just go away, so I am in this position of wanting to keep the best friendship I've had intact, or telling her how I feel, getting the weight off my chest and hoping for a good response, or destroying the friendship entirely.
The only thing I know is that she is my world.
Comment Hidden (show)
I have been in love with my best friend whose a girl for about 3 years. I told her after she broke up with her boyfriend and after i did she said she was confused of her feelings saying if we went out it would be perfect but later that week i find out they got back together and it killed me but i decided to stay because i love her. After about another week they break up because he cheated. She then tells me she was stupid and she finally noticed the right guy was here all along. About 3 weeks ago she tells me they got back together and it kills me. Not just because she said she can't see me that way but because she went back to someone who hurt her. She said we need space and we still haven't spoken. Everyday i see where we had a memory. There is no way i can move on unless i move to a new city. I don't wanna lose her but it hurts knowing she is with a guy who hurted her. I don't know what to do because she really is everything to me.
Being in love with your best friend isn't bad it just hurts alot and is confusing -.-
Comment Hidden (show)
I'm not sure what to make of my own situation really. I am more than just in love with my friend. for the 2 years we have known each other, the longest we haven't spoken was for 3 straight days. we don't see each other often, but we speak daily (unless we argued then we skip a day sometimes). She knows how I feel about her but she gives me so many mixed messages I just don't know what to do.

I usually think I'm just putting myself through so much torture just staying friends with her but not talking to her is even worse. she's broken my heart so often, has said very clearly on many occasions we will never be together, that i just have false hope for nothing and she doesn't want me to when she knows nothing will ever happen between us.

I always try to give up, to move on, to be the friend she needs me to be but then op top of my own struggles with my feelings, whenever she's drunk, every time she was drunk she would call me, telling me she misses me and she loves me or truly afraid my family wouldn't like her or asking what if her family didn't like me but would be so drunk she couldn't remember most of what she said when she called. She got so desperate that whenever she went out she would leave her phone at home not to call me.

I recently visited her for christmas as a friend (we don't really see each other often at all), I was so terrified in doing anything wrong that I acted like myself but without touching her at all, sat away from her creating whatever distance I could because I knew she doesn't feel the same for me.
Comment Hidden (show)
we just hang out in bed (was a huge bed and we were each on our respective sides) watching a movie, during the movie she held my hand saying it was freezing and started running her fingers through mine which led us to cuddling just holding hands while watching the movie, I absent mindedly placed a kiss on her nose and forehead while watching the movie and just cuddled with her more.

At some point she started caressing my cheek with her nose/cheek, we kissed when I turned and looked her in the eyes and she told me she loved me four times that night (I counted plus she wasn't drunk). It was a perfect night, she nor I wanted to leave that spot ever, she was truly happy being there as was I.

But now weeks later, she's given me a song and told me we will never be together, she doesn't want to lose me as a friend and we would never work anyway and as much as she wants more she will not risk it. She is so confused, I love her so much.

She is very clear in her words I should give up. But her actions says so many things. She calls me late at night and falls asleep while talking to me because she wants to feel like I'm there. When she's sad she will ask to listen to me speak because it comforts her. She constantly says she will never leave me but am afraid I will leave her.

I just don't know what to do.
We got into an argument a few days ago, she wants me to date, and i said no and asked why she's pushing it on me to date (she's been trying to get me to date a lot recently). She yelled at me that I just don't understand.. not at all. And she's right I don't I wish I did.. we are just so lost, we will never leave each other but right now we are lost, I don't know what to do and it hurts so much.
Comment Hidden (show)
I have the same problem me and her have been best friends for a long time and she takes being best friends really seriously and she also always talks about boyfriends and she recently told me about her new boyfriend (who's name I cant remember) that I think is fake because I think that she would have told someone or me about it? But anyways its really hard to understand girls you never know what they might do or if they might lie or betray you for their girl best friends which always come first and the guys last its really sucks because a lot of her girl best friends hate me for no reason and I think that she actually lies a lot to me for attention...I don't know why I think that but I just do please someone help me im always thinking about her and she is also moving away to become home schooled and I just cant imagine life without her shes like that person that no matter how bad your day was you can always trust that one person to cheer you up and bring you joy she always trusts me with a lot of stuff...life is so hard when your in love with your best friend she just feels like the one someone please help me.
Comment Hidden (show)
I'm 27 and I have had a crush on (and in my older years, have loved) a guy I've known since I was 5. When I was little, playing make-believe "wedding day" with a friend, he was always the husband I imagined. He was the first boy I slow-danced with at 8 years old to Boyz II Men's "I'll Make Love to You" at a campground Saturday night dance (still my favorite love song). When I was 9, my family moved from VA to AZ. My brother and his brother are best friends so naturally, we kept in touch, and have actually become really good friends over the years. He is the best man I have ever known. He is honest, caring, trustworthy, loyal, he will do anything to help another person out, etc. He and my dad are probably the only men I trust implicitly because I KNOW the kind of person they are. I went to visit this last summer and we finally hooked up, after many long years of waiting. He's told me we'd be dating if I lived there again (but has also admitted he'd be afraid to screw up our friendship) and I've tried so hard to find a job in VA with no success. Now he's got a new girlfriend and things seem to be going well. I'm happy for him because he deserves to be happy but I can't shake this feeling that he and I are supposed to be together. It's driving me nuts.
Comment Hidden (show)
itll never happen..she looks at you only as a "friend"
Comment Hidden (show)
-
Making it a little more complicated, she's bi, just like me. Oh, and she bought me boots when she bought herself boots, same kind. She jokes about them being his and hers. Confusing, huh?
Comment Hidden (show)
Chances are she has feelings for you. Best friends often mean you tell each other everything and have things in common.So Why not
Comment Hidden (show)
hey im in love with my best friend and i went over her house tonight at a bbq and she gets out of the pool and sits in my lap does she like me back i dont want to ask her again i have before and she always says no but has she have a change of heart?
Comment Hidden (show)
I am in the same situation only I am a girl in love with my best friend, a girl. I am quite happy to cope with not really knowing whether I am gay or not because I have such a supportive group of friends and family. But its the most painful feeling to be in love with your best friend. She is actually a twin, and I used to have the same feelings for her sister too but she is getting married. I reckon my subconscious grabbed a hold of that and made me let go of one of them.

But still badly or madly in love with my best friend. I have never ever thought about telling her but she is on my mind 24/7 and it really hurts. She is such a good friend though, we are more like sisters. She knows I might be gay but just wants me to be happy. I have to do something about it though, cos whenever she talks about guys and having boyfriends (she doesn't at the moment) it kills me. My mind just keeps saying "no she still might be gay". All I want to do is let go of these feelings and go back to being best friends.

Would love to tell her but not sure about that. I have never told any one else either.
Comment Hidden (show)
It's hard to deal with it.I love my bestfriend so much,almost for 8 months. At first it was whatever ad we just talked but then months started to pass and I got a crush. Then I could not stop thinking about her in school, at night and any other time.The wierd thing is that when we first talked we talked alot and a lot.She then told my friends she liked me but i did not believe them so i ignored them and then she stopped liking me. Then a year later i like her. It's wierd and then a lot of my friends tell me that i should go out with her. I tell them that what if she doesnt like me, but they tell me that when somebody likes you they usually will always like you but i dont know if thats true?She is really cool and i text her a lot and i make her laugh a lot and she says im cool to hangout with.She also flirts with me but i do not know if she flirts to have fun or because she loves me???So i really dont know what to do?i try to keep it down but somehow my cousins and friends notice that i like her,even my aunt.They tell me that if i like her i should ask her out but i do not know if that will ruin our friendship. So like right now i dont know what to do.I also do things to make her see i like her but i do not know if she notices. I really like her because she is like me. She is funny and very cool and we talk a lot,but i do not know what to do.Also everytime we hangout we have a really good time and somehow i end up giving her a hug and she does not say anything she just looks at me and smiles. its really hard to tell everything. help?
Comment Hidden (show)
i am actually on the other side of a situation like this. my best guy friend recently told me he liked me, and things have gotten really uncomfortable, which depresses me because we had such good times together. and after he told me, i am still having trouble talking to him and seeing him the same way i did before. but i honestly still want to be friends with him, yet every time we talk the fact he likes me suddenly becomes this wall in conversations.
don't tell her unless you're sure. i know it kills to bottle up love inside, but for her sake, to spare her from losing a good friendship, don't tell.
Comment Hidden (show)
-
i kind of have to disagree with that. if u were such good friends b4, y b unconfortable? he`s still the same person he always has been except now u no he feels a little differnt. if anything it should bring u closer 2gether. u should have a sort of closure,(not trying 2 sound like dr. phil,) in your relationship so your both on the same key. being totally honest is your best bet. :)
Comment Hidden (show)
it is soo normal...u sound like a sweet guy but she prob doesnt like u.
Comment Hidden (show)

Sorry, you need to be signed in to comment.

Click here to sign in or register.