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Im in love with my best friend Is he gay/bi?
82% Normal
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I am a 22 year old male in love with my best friend of 12 years who is also a 22 year old male. I have never had any feelings like this for another guy, but I think now I might be bi. He claims to be straight, and this is why I am writing to you. We have been best friends forever, and have always been extremly close with each other as normal friends, but I think I might of had a crush on him for several years. I never paid too much attention to it, so it was not a problem. I would do anything for him, and he says the same about me. I always had a sense that he could be gay, or bi, as he has only had one girl friend, and I have never seen him talk about girls, or sexual things. He is a very closed quiet person, very to himself. I have been his ONLY friend for as long as I can remember. Anyways, About 2 years ago, I asked him to be my business partner, and thats when I really started having heavy feelings for him. Whenever we worked, we would
use the same computer, and sit very close to one another on the couch. As time progressed, I started putting my hands on his leg, and then his inner thigh, and so on. We both never said
anything about it, and just acted like nothing was ever happening. One day, it progressed to me rubbing, and playing with his parts. I could tell by how it felt, that he was enjoying
this. This kind of thing went on for quite a while. It was always the same, him just sitting there, and letting me do this to him. He never returned the same kind of action to me, and we never said a thing about it. I started to try to be more aggressive, and trying to build my self up tp kiss him. We were constantly cuddling together, and we would tell each other "I LOVE YOU" Several times we almost kissed, but it did not happen. Then about 2 months ago, I wanted him so bad, I could not take it anymore, and I asked if I could kiss him, because I was sure he would be cool with it. He freaked out to my suprise, and was acting like we had never done anything remotly gay, and told me that he is completly straight. He did not talk to me for several days (the longest sense we met). He said he was freaked out, and he might never talk to me again, as he did not feel like he knew me at this point. Like I was a completly different person. After a few days, he decided he wanted to be my friend, and he would try to forget about it. Well, now we are closer than ever , and we were all over each other tonight, and almost kissed. But like always he pretend like this is normal, and he is straight. Please let me know what you think about this. Is he gay?
Should I confront him, or just take it one day at a time? I know how lame I must sound, but I really love him, and I feel like I will take it as slow as I need to, if I can be with him at some point. Am I wasting my time? Please help
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (24)
sisophous (3738)
2007-01-06 19:58:15
From your story, sounds like your friend is attracted to men otherwise would not be a willing partner to your touching. If someone says no, best not to force it. Likely he is indecisive and apprehensive about his own sexual orientation and is reluctant to admit his attraction towards men. Whether he is gay or bi doesn't really matter, that he says no does matter. Let him resolve his own issues, not for you to do or to pressure him. A lack of communication and honesty from the both of you is a hindrance to your personal fulfillment and likely his too. I don't play games with women, but that's just me, so do as you please.
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crazyme (4954)
2007-01-06 22:06:49
Some of the guys like other guys to touch them or even kiss. But they don't want to return the favor because they are straight. That maybe their fantasy and they only want other guys to do it. I know a friend that is straight and his friend is gay. The gay guy always give him bj or let him do it but this straight guy dont do bj back. They both may like the feeling and the straight guy may be bi. But he never admit he's bi. From your story, this guy really like from what you're doing. Why don't you just take time to do more stuff while doing it, like kiss. Let's see how he reacts for a few times. If you tell him now. He might not talk to you again and maybe loose a best friend. I think he's wonder about being with you and enjoy that. From what you said.. he got mad then he came back and talked to you again... and you guys continue to do it...i think he wants to have the feeling from a guy do it for him, but not want to be gay or bi. Why not ask him to do it to you???? TO see what he will say
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arktik (5136)
2007-01-06 22:33:06
you gay nigga
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expiredlastjuly (5146)
2007-01-07 03:33:47
i think that you should continue in the cuddling/fondling and see how he reacts or if he begins to return the favor. also, instead of ASKING to kiss him.. just wait for an opportunity to come up itself. i think he is confused and scared and doesn't want to admit that he wants you so he tries to act like nothing is going on and denying it. wait until you two are "canoodling" and when you're getting really into it just get your face really close to his and hold it there. see if he looks away or not. if not.. just kiss him and see what happens. if he tries to get angry with you for it talk it out with him and explain that he had given off signals that he was in to it and you care about him more than anything.
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sparky84 (5044)
2007-01-07 08:52:54
i think you need to get past this, youre friend really doesnt know what he wants and you do. I think you might be invading his personal space so just be cool and let him do the moves not you if you think hes bi/gay. also i think hes obviuosly not ready for this type of relationship if hes still adament he straight so just be a friend to this guy if you cant stop being friends and try to move on for youres and his sake.
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hiker (11794)
2007-11-19 03:39:17
Wow--this story is similar to mine. My best friend and I sometimes sit close and I give him massages. He has allowed me to pull down his pants and seems to enjoy it. I also have seen him look at me in the urinal and he has angled himself so that I could see him. He likes to spend almost all of his free time with me. But he never reciprocates. I get very turned on by him, but am unclear as to what he wants. He absolutely denies being gay and talks about women, but never seems to pursue them either. Any thoughts?
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imromanian (12133)
2007-12-08 16:31:35
wow... first... i'm from Romania and sorry for my language... i am 15 years old... this is like my story... i have a best friend, i love him, but i don't know if he's gay... when we are sleeping, i grab his **** and he's excited, i hug him, i have almost kissed him, but good things never happend... but, he's returning the work except grabbing the ****... i put my hand on his ass, i hug him, i'm putting my leg over his in sleep... and he's making the same thing to me... when i'm "sleeping" with him, i can't sleep... and he can't too... i hear his eyes opening, looking on the window... when we are waking up, he starts to say me that i'm gay, or other things, but he's looking like he's joking... he never said that to other friends... he always talk about girls but he's neveg got one... i saw him looking at other boys, but i've never said that... when we were sitting in the same desk at school he was always looking at my underwear... but at highschool we have been separated... i've decited to tell him next time when we will sleep toghether when he is sleepy, sometime after 1-2 am when the game is on... but i'm afraid... what happends if he's leaving me??? we're not so good friends... :(( give me an advice please!!! it's he or not gay?
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falloutsuit (12358)
2007-12-22 00:20:25
@: imromanian
nice english, seriously only a few gramatical errors, anyway, i think he might be gay but i know how you feel im gonna post a story soon about it but i am so afraid of telling my friend that i love him cause i dont wanna lose him, its hard and when it feels right just ask him, if you have AIM, MSN, or any instant messanger, I'd joke around on that first, say like "Hey i love you" or something like that and see how he responds, if its negative say "jk" or something like that. lol if anything didnt make sense let me know, good luck man
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blah13 (12805)
2008-01-10 00:39:10
whoa, its good to see im not the only one with this problem.
i honestly dont know what to do anymore.
i have the same thing going with my best friend..we just recently started talking again but it was for different reasons.
anyway he already knew i liked him, and it turns out he likes me too...or so he says.
he loves it when i rub him, massages ect. and he actually made the effort to kiss me once.
it seems like it would be fine right?
well when i confront him about it he says he doesnt know what to do, because im the first guy hes ever been attracted to.
it pisses me off because i have really strong feelings for him, and he says stuff and then hes not sure. i dont know what to do and it really hurts. :/ any ideas?
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faith (17315)
2008-10-31 09:02:04
@: blah13
ok so i am reading all of these stories on here about how you don't know if your straight guy friend is gay...well I have a situation where I don't knwo if my gay guy firend is really gay. We have known eachother for about 7 years and we have been bestfriends for about 4 years. when i met him i knew he was gay cuz he was so open about it. about 4 years ago i moved in with him cuz him and his bf broke up, so we became reallt close. we spent all of our time 2gether, did everything together. about a year after that he made a move on me and we slept 2gether. i didnt think much of it we were drunk and i figured it was curiosaty. but then it happened again and again and it went on for 2 years. Now, not only do we sleep 2egther but we also act like a couple. we have the fight and break-ups and make-ups. when theres something wrong im the first person he calls we cuddle we watch movies, and when i go and do things with my friends or other guys he freaks out and gets mad that im not with him. these are just a few examples i could go on 4ever. the point is im in love with him and i know he loves me 2 but he wotn admit that hes bi and he keeps saying that he cant have a relationship with a girl yet thats exactly what we,ve been in for the past 4 years a relationship without a title. is he gay or bi? and how do i go about this? this is more a question for the gay guys out there..is this normal guys? what should i do? thanks
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sub111 (18511)
2008-12-13 21:03:36
Hi I'm 17 years old, I'm so glad and surprised that theirs other guys that have the same problem I have.....I'm in love with my best friend, I think about him all day, I want to be with him 24/7, I cry when we argue....anyways, he claims to be straight but I'm not sure if he is, hes never had a girlfriend, he never talks about girls. When I get mad at him, he gets sad and makes-up with me. I go to his house like once a week and we wrestle, we get so close, he gets on top of me and I get super erected. I grab his ass while hes on top of me and he doesn't complain, I also slowly rub his face and he doesn't get bothered by it. I have tried kissing him, but he turns away, also when I hug him, he pushes me away (sometimes he lets me).....I'm super confused, I don't know what to do, should I stop with all this? should I continue?.....the thing is, If he really doesn't want me like that, I'm going to be emotionally destroyed...
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dasnic0 (19243)
2009-01-07 21:02:16
good to see i'm not the only one who's going through something similar. unlike most of you who have commented on this story, i've only known the boy i'm crazy about for 5 months (since school started). we have only just recently started hanging out (the past 5 weeks or so) but i know we've noticed each other since the beginning. on countless occasions (before we started hanging out or even knew each other) i would catch him staring at me and he would catch me staring at him. sometimes i'll look away and glance back at him and he'll still be looking at me. i think a normal straight guy would've already deemed this "gay" and would not have even wanted to hang out with me. most things about him come across as gay as well. the way he composes himself, how he says certain words, how he walks, etc. he claims he's straight (that's why i have yet to approach him about my feelings) however he never talks about girls with me when we hang out. when we're with friends he is often quick to turn down the subject of girls. it's mainly the staring that has me confused though. i've lost count of how many times we have caught each other looking in to each others eyes. when we watch movies i can feel his eyes burning a hole in the side of my head. we were on a set recently in class and i happened to look over at him. he was looking directly at me and the lights lit up his eyes. i stared back at him for about 30 seconds and he eventually just looked away. i just want to kiss him once but i'm afraid the rejection would be too harsh. i'm aware that he "likes" a girl in our class but he won't do anything about it. he's very shy and does not speak much, but i think his actions are speaking louder than words. when he looks at me and smiles i just want to melt. it's driving me crazy! perhaps he's bi... i can only hope :(
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dan778899 (19761)
2009-01-27 19:08:29
OK its weird how we all have a similar situation. I met a friend online and ever since we have been very close. We talk online all the time and play game alot. He has other friends but is only goofy around me. He says things to make me feel good and talks to his parents about me all the time. Every day I talk to him I feel happy and warm. We can talk for hours about anything and feel so comfortable around each other. He does sweet little things such as send me a little text throughout the day among other things. He does not like to talk about girls. I am gay but wonder about him. H e does things that make me think he is. But it could be that we are that close that he can joke about these things. He does look at me then look away when I look at him. He did have a girlfriend but they did not work out at all. Its hard not to tell him how I feel but I am going to do it because I need to know how he feels.
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canuplease (20521)
2009-02-24 12:07:56
This is very sureal..no idea my situation is shared by soo many...mines a tad bit more complicated. So I was 13 when i met my younger friend 10yr. We met at the local skatepark and i have had strong feelings for him ever since...we see eachother only at the skatepark and we had a few sleepovers in the past when we were younger (just cuddleing)...since i work full time and go to school full time my social life is almost non existant...im 20 now and hes 17...we dont see eachother much or hangout like we use to... i think he wants to be closer with me but dosnt know or is afriaad of his feeling for me. what the hell should i do?
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Aussielove (21894)
2009-04-12 19:34:47
I so know how you all feel.
I meet a very amazing guy last year and we have become like brothers since.
We live in each others pockets and share a room together.

He sayes he is stright but you would never guess and many people tell him that he act gay.

He does have a girl friend but he hasnt seen her in ages due to College.

Since meting him I have fallin for him more and more everyday.

On 2 different nights and must admit due to Alcohol & Drugs. We have done some things
1. He got undressed and lied next to me in bed, he let me touch him a few tims and even got the biggest hand on. ( he is huge LOL) Told me he really didnt feel unconfortable.

2. Was a lot more. He was in bed and i pull his tool out and gave him a Bj. He told me he liked it and let me go for ages. But than sort of turned away and feel asleep ( very drunk)

The next day he was so cool about it all, as for me I thought i would lose his friendship. Even to this day he hugs me, kisses me, tells me he loves me and thing have not changed at all with our friendship. But im so confused is he gay, bi or just likes to have fun.

I know he has been with his girlfriend for 3 years but WHAT DO I DO

Can any1 give me some advise please .
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conech (29029)
2009-09-27 01:48:04
@: Aussielove
I understand your feeling.

About me, I consider myself as a bi but I prefer to be considerd as a questioning guy.

I am in love with my best friend and he knows that. ( we talked alot about my sexual orientation before and I just came out with him last week ).

I and my best friend are really close. We do every thing together and never hide anything from each other ( even when i have strange feeling with him, i just came up to him and told him that). We had sex many times. The first time was when we were both drunk. After that we just do it for fun bc we are both single.

Actually, I really hit on my him at the very first moment i met him. However, I had to tell myself that it 's sth really wrong. In the end, i can not denny it so i just told him that and begged him to love me because we do everything for each other.
But he did not love me, he told me that he is totally straight.

We are still best friend but I don't know what to do. I am not confuse about his orientation bc I really believe that he is straight since he has no reason to lie to me.( we already had sex, if he is gay or bi he would just tell me ).

Our friendship is kind of stucked on that now ( even we are still very cool with each other ).

Can any one give me a suggestion?
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mattyowen18 (30520)
2009-10-30 01:55:14
Im In The Same Boat , Me and Me Mate have Been Friends For 10 Years , Pritty Much The Same story i dont know whather hes gay, bi or straight. Hes Only had one g/f witch was the other week. then he split up with her about 2 weeks later but never done nowt with her. where my story changes is that i have done stuff with my mate and plenty of times. the first time we were only kids and id didnt think anything about it but he kept on asking. then it stoped for about 2 years untill the other week on the monday, once again he asked me to suck his c**k i dont know why i did, but i couldnt help my self. we never gone anyfurther then me giving him bj. but there bout 3/4 times a week

My advice to You Is Let To You Is That admit ur Bi or Gay , for some reason that works. after the 2 years i turned 18 and admitted ive done stuff with other lads and i don't know y it just turns him on. and we been doing stuff ever since. I Reckon if he is straight like they all say but most of them are curious to see wants it like to get head , kiss sex of another man. also he keeps asking me what it like to have sex with another man stuff like that. also we've nearly done it. He sed what's it like , i replied ill show you, just the he jumped up and sed away then, his brother walked in. and after that i waiting for him to say, you don't want to jump in you might scare him ... GL

Matthew
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mattyowen18 (30520)
2009-10-30 02:00:01
@: conech
same ere. ive just waited for him to make the move always worked for me , but i didn't tell him that i had a crush on him or that i love him . i am scared incase i do that ill lose him or hell stop asking me to bj him. witch he really likes .

so im stuck really.

I was thinking about getting a b/f maybe to rub it in his face but i don't know how hell react to it.
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D1doluv (33559)
2009-12-28 02:06:53
ok so i'm in a similar situation but the thing is he's got a girlfriend and they are both my best friends. i always hang out with both of them and i've slept over with them several times. they're usually really affectionate and it turns me on to watch them makeout but i don't wanna be a pervert. a couple time during our slepp overs when they thought i was asleep i heard them fucking on the bed next to me and it was so hard not to jump in and join them. also they shower together when his parents are out and they don't care that i know and seem to think i can't hear what they're doing but they're really loud...
like i said they're both my close friends and both of them are attractive at first i fantasized about double teaming her with him but i've begun to realize i'm really more attracted to him than her neither of them know i'm bi but i think they suspect and they all always joke that i am gay but i deny it
he likes to wrestle and he's stronger than me so when we do he always wins every time he pins me down he gives me the most amazing "there's nothing you can do now smile" and we stare at each other for a long time....
he rarely drinks but one time he did he started kissing everyone (before they were dating) and when i woke up he was spooning me and another time we had to sleep on the floor and he dryhumped and fondled me a little in his sleep
every time i see him i wanna throw my arms around him but i'm too afraid to say anything because i don't want to ruin my relationship with either of them...
what do i do?
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D1doluv (33559)
2009-12-28 02:17:47
also somewhat unrelated but i get the impression sometimes that they would like to have a 3sum with me because of the odd joke or how comfortable they are with my presence but this could be wishful thinking
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Hollywood (34353)
2010-01-07 18:53:18
OMG! So many people are in the same boat as me. Me and my best friend have been friends for years. We do everything together, even work. We have been drunk alone alot of times. But on New Years we hooked up. It started out with us holding hands amd later whenthe lights ere out we started kissing. After making out, we started touching each others cocks. After givinghim a bj we held each other. We slept in seperate areas but the next day at work, he pretended nothing happened. I told him we needed to talk, and ee never did. Later that night Itxted him and asked if he remebered what happened, he said yea and it zhouldnt of happened. He said we were not gay but we were just drunk. We havent talked about it since, its been a week and I want to tell him that im bi. I also want to let him know I like him. I really think he i bi or gay. He doesnt come across as straight and has only had two girls who he never hangs with or really talks to. I am so confused. What should I do?!?!
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jkm69 (36152)
2010-02-04 16:59:29
I see that everyone has the same problem. Ive met my best friend in my freshman year of high school we got close quick. We started hanging out and day by day we just got closer and closer. The closer we got the more and more i started to fall for him. He was and still is my best friend i can tell him evrything all of my secrets i told him, all my rough past evrything. I never lie to him he is the only one of my friends that is close to actually knowing me...but there is one thing that i have kept from him and that is that im bi and that im in love with him and it is crazy i still get butterflies when i think of him...during the freshman and sophmore years i just keep falling for him...i remember him being in my physics class and just by looking at him my heart would race. In the halls we walked together he waited for me by my locker he texted me just to see how i was doing and if i could hang out with him. Just the little things that just made me really happy but i
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jkm69 (36152)
2010-02-04 18:41:01
didnt want to question him cause i was scared of what he would say. During the time passed we started to do things a couple would do but hes straight. I kept questioning it but never to the extent of him beign gay or bi. Until one night we went camping when we were sleeping i felt something but i pretended to be asleep so i turned to face him. Him thinking that i was sleeping he got closer and closer until our lips touched he started softly kissing me so i wont wake up i was shocked i turned back around i knew now that he has feelings for me but i fell asleep and nothing happend. The next morning i wake up and he is spooning me his arm around me i couldnt believe it This actually happened. i couldnt talk to him because i suppose to be asleep so i let that go and pretended nothing happend. At first when i started sleeping over his house i slept in a different room . Nights passed and he eventually asked me to sleep over to his bed i agreed. At first we slept in shorts and pjs and now we sleep in underwear. the time passed and we got more comfortable with each other and we sleep all over each other but we never do anything well a hand job but that was a while back. We care and love each other but i feel like he is scared to be wirh me because he is from a christian family like myself but the signs that he sends me makes me want to tell him but when we are with our friends its completly different. So its like a secret thing and its so confusing and hard to talk to him. its even harder now that he started smoking pot and we got in a big argument about it so we havent spoken for 3 weeks and it hurts because we hang out literally like evryday and now that i havent seen or talked to him i feel depressed and now i dont know if i should tell him or give him time. I called him and he didnt respond so now its even harder to talk to him...
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jkm69 (36152)
2010-02-04 18:46:28
I personally dont kno when to tell him or if he just playing with me all these questions and confessions that i want to tell him but i dont know when it would be a good time to... we have been bestfriends for 5 years and with the smoking thing i dont know if he is goin to talk to me..
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