Are You Normal?
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Indian man exclusively attracted to White women
I'm a 26-year old Indian guy who feels exclusive attraction to White women but worried about the consequences of going ahead.
To put matters in perspective, I'm from a fairly conservative background and majority of the people I deal with happen to be South Asians. Arranged marriages are the norm here. Most South Asians are still endogamous.
Having had extensive exposure to White women, I just can't think of anyone else. They're pleasing to the senses, have a sweet attitude and, I like their strong sense of independence. Indian women, in contrast, are deep-down conservative and do not satisfy me the way White women are able to.
I don't want this to be a transitory flame. But, any decision will have serious consequences. If I don't marry within my community, I'll become ostracised and my kids will find a hard time connecting back to Indian culture, the language -there's a whole world of differences. Besides, they will face constant racism while growing up and not have a stable community environment which is essential for success in life.
My attraction for White women has become so strong that I simply wouldn't find the same level of attraction after a traditional Indian marriage. This can hamper my marital life if I do fulfill my family expectations. They're sending me tons of pictures of prospective brides -even though most are very beautiful, I know I can't get along with them for too long.
It's just a matter of time before I plunge ahead as either end of the pendulum swings.
To put matters in perspective, I'm from a fairly conservative background and majority of the people I deal with happen to be South Asians. Arranged marriages are the norm here. Most South Asians are still endogamous.
Having had extensive exposure to White women, I just can't think of anyone else. They're pleasing to the senses, have a sweet attitude and, I like their strong sense of independence. Indian women, in contrast, are deep-down conservative and do not satisfy me the way White women are able to.
I don't want this to be a transitory flame. But, any decision will have serious consequences. If I don't marry within my community, I'll become ostracised and my kids will find a hard time connecting back to Indian culture, the language -there's a whole world of differences. Besides, they will face constant racism while growing up and not have a stable community environment which is essential for success in life.
My attraction for White women has become so strong that I simply wouldn't find the same level of attraction after a traditional Indian marriage. This can hamper my marital life if I do fulfill my family expectations. They're sending me tons of pictures of prospective brides -even though most are very beautiful, I know I can't get along with them for too long.
It's just a matter of time before I plunge ahead as either end of the pendulum swings.
Do you think it's normal?
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I'm just wondering if you marry an Indian girl like you're expected to, and the marriage falls to bits, seeing as you're not happy. Will you be frowned even more upon?
I don't think your children will recieve that much racism just depends which community you live in, because the amount of mixed children is growing rapidly, and you can teach them of their culture from what you know. If you want to marry a white women then you are going to have to give up most of your traditions because an American white female is going to want to live the way most Americans do. The difference with your culture is most people from India don't believe in love at first sight they believe in growing into love.
Good luck to you, but remember you should never marry for lust or just physical attraction it is more important what is on the inside then what is on the outside.
To the author: I'm white, and I love asian guys. It's just the way personal preference goes. But let's put it this way - either you can do what your family wants, or you can do what you want. If you do what your family wants, there is a very high chance that you will be very unhappy. If you are unhappy, your wife will be unhappy and if you both are unhappy, the kids probably won't be so cheery either. On the other hand, if you do what you want, you will be technically disowned by the people you love very much ( I assume ). The decision is very big, and no one can decide for you. However, you could always move far away from your current residence. There are many communities in the United States that are very accepting of multicultural families and such. Perhaps it would be better to do what makes YOU happy, and find a place where the people will love you for it.
unless you're talking about sexual attraction, but by the looks of your story, i guess not.
In the meantime though, I'm going through something very similar. I'm ethnic chinese living in the UK and I really admire white women for their independence and their ambition. Subconciously though, I know that my parents will object to my going out with a white girl.
I decided sometime ago that I will do as I like that I know will make me happy. Because ultimately, my parents will be even more unhappy if I marry the wrong person and end up getting divorced later on. You should do the same too. You might break a few hearts, but you'll be surprised to know that some of your friends and family back home will ultimately respect your decision.
It sounds like a serious conflict though. If you're afraid of being ostracized, perhaps you should continue exploring your options with Indian women.
I assume that you're living in Western country if you're surrounded by White women all the time. Perhaps you should try to meet some Western-born Indian women... I'm American, and in my experience, the cultural standards are frequently different between American-born foreign women and foreign women born in their countries of origin. I knew a number of American-born Indian girls in college who seemed more American than Indian, culturally speaking at least.
Maybe it's possible to have your cake and eat it too... find an Indian woman whose values and habits are a bit different from the Indian norm, and you might end up finding happiness but also avoiding social ostracism in your own Indian community.
As for your original problem, I must say that whatever makes you happy is what is right. Don't worry about your children, mixed race is so common now.
I myself am in a relationship with an Indian guy for over a year now. I'm madly in love with him but just recently found out that he doesn't think he could ever marry me due to cultural differences, his family, etc. Call me naive, but I didn't know this would be such an issue. I guess I didn't think it would matter.
For me, I would have no problem embracing his culture and learning all I could about it and raising our children according to his culture and traditions. I must say it's heartbreaking to find this out now.
Good luck to you and I hope you have the strenght and courage to do what's in your heart.
India, porn has not even been legal,but there is underground market of foreign porn...it's depressing...can you imagine us Indian girls seeing white male penises our whole life? this is what you have undergone, except of course women are not as porn stimulated as men...
before you make your decision, atleast first respect Indian culture vs non. Type in Google celebrity nipples (find Popcrunch link)...can you imagine as a whole culture your own Indian women walking in underwear in public? being famous for doing nude dances in every city for $20? Respect your mom and sis for the upbringing they have had....and that they would never be so shameless to have only their "pink nipples" to define their culture or beauty, or white skin..
If you agree with Victorias secret for their underwear ad, that "pink is prestigious and priveleged" then you should atleast also know the beauty that is perceived to be that is not the case at all. Go to anvari.org and type stars without makeup. Women have thinner skin, and white women have no melanin. By 40 they are completely aged (melanin is the #1 protector of skin and sun is the #1 cause of aging)...also type in Google twenty celebrities that have aged miserably.
then walk into an Indian Hindu temple, and see how beautiful the aunties still look well into 50's, 60's..
if after all this, you still don't respect the beauty of yourself, your own Indian women, the minimum divorce rates in India (the cherishing of all family values & religion) then by all means go for it.
Type in Google, why Indian men like white women...I wrote in immihelp.forum..
sometimes guys or girls just like what's different &there's nothing wrong with that, but you should realize as well: that your own Indian girls would never make it a whole culture to "be Girls gone wild" for $10...they are for the most part raised on nothing, and the ones that are have the same pride in carrying on their own Christian or Orthodox religion or genes with fellow kind...the ones who will marry your kind are the ones who have nothing to pass down, no tradition, religion, culture, customs, and definitely not what an Indian girl will give you (fresh delicious Indian food daily as all our mothers did growing up).
I definitely would not want you to be miserable with a fellow Indian girl...her life would be cursed, and it would be a horrible fate.
Before you make your decisions, atleast look at some beautiful Indian girls in their nude glory as you have been force fed white girl porn your whole life even as a teen watching Die Hard or Terminator, they put her tits for you and your brothers and sisters to say "oh.." force feeding her porn is dozens of movies in a row featuring it, something Bollywood has never done... only one movie Kama Sutra has it, in last 70 yrs of Indian film making.
see desipornmovies.com and masalapornmovies.com...and if you still "prfer" the brainwashing you have had and actually think Indian girls are any different personality wise, then please, by all means, marry Sue or Jane...the Vidya Balans, Priyanka Chopras will be grateful. There is no greater curse than being an Indian woman whose own Indian husband has jungle fever :( even if she did not know, she would always sense it...Indian women in our modesty do not walk in public in their underwear, or fully breasts revealing tops...white women do, teens especially...you are force fed their porn everywhere no one can blame you sweetheart, and if you do marry foreign, perhaps she will grow to love India as much as you do...have her visit my tube channel www.youtube.com/user/BunnyBambiBambi
some of the best Bollywood songs are there..also..1/4 women has herpes here (not a lie)...most of these women you are attracted to have been having sex from 15, 70% have drunk from 15 on....the culture is porn & drinking...I hope you ever find has some values & is capable of raising your daughter and sons to not be monkeys :) 1/6 teens are pregnant as of today...it takes Orthodox mothers especially to instill values in their children, even if they stray they come back. Also have the discussion about whether you're going to send your parents to nursing home. There are no nursing homes in India...and majority of population sends their parents to these homes (for us, our parents stay with us).
Love your Indian sis,
Priyanka
priyaraixx@yahoo.com
think carefully how many Indian families you know are divorced after kids (women play a big role, particularly Indian women :)) or have stepparents situation
there's alot you don't know...how different we are as cultures.. we did aarti every night, went to temple every week, what will your life be like after the sex? mcdonalds? porn? horror movies? isn't there more to life?
it takes that conservatism and religion to make relationships work, the devotion to family (all), the fresh meals we ate everyday..our Dads even helped our moms! What will your foreign wife feed you everyday? turkey, cow, chicken, liver, ham burgers?? frozen food? how will you raise the children? atheists? and do you realize that all of your Indian ness will be gone within 2nd 3rd generation? your kids if they don't have Hindu mother and raised on nothing "Indian and all relevant traditions from puja attendnce to Raksha Bhandhan" will marry foreign?
anyway...good luck :)
You know yourself best. If your parents are opposed to someone ask them why.
I love white women too. I spent 7 yrs in US and Europe but my parents wanted me to come back to India. I am back but have decided to be with someone who is white. Just because I feel they are more fun to be with and unlike what Priya says, they are not always disloyal.
I won't classify this as fetish, if you long to be with someone...if you have a picture of your wife in your mind, that is the purest thought anyone can have, by no means is this a fetish.
by all means, if you have a fetish, then go for it... :) and glad for you that recognize it & if you care about "your Indianness" then perhaps your future wife will have the same level of love you have for it &obviously unless she is cooking fresh Indian food as thousands in our communities did that married within & doing all the relevant "Hindu" traditions, then of course, expect your kids to be very "non Indian" and if that's fine for you so be it.. :) most families that we know where the parents only approve of Catholic, Jewish, or Muslim marriages have a reason for it. We know Christian families that took sons out of wills, broke off the relationships..&Kids born from multicultural families tend to be alot more confused and not as well adjusted. It is an easier upbringing over all, especially since the kids are interacting with one community, their cultural & religious identity is solid.
The good news for you marrying white woman or Chinese woman whatever, is that every family we have seen this to be the case: the kids every single one look very Indian :) :)
"C.B Davenport in 1913 discovered that skin color in human beings is controlled by three genes. So even Micheal Jackson has all the genes dominant(which simply means he is dark in complexion) and marries a white or fair colored women there is at least 1 in 64 chances of his children being fair." (p.s. MJ used new technology of gene therapy-isolating his genes."
Dark hair, skin is usally very dominant...but oddly enough when it has been white male with Indian female, the kids have more his skin color...
&last re read how successful the last marriages are (white male & Indian female)- the males we know completely accepted Hinduism & all relevant traditions & cultural norms :) so the kids are not confused nor raised on just popular tv culture (empty) which a majority of atheists are raised on.
The few families we know where it is foreign women, 2/3 families the kids are all confused, divorced, and lost overall. The last family a Jewish woman adapted to all things Hindu &their 2 very Indian looking sons married Indian Hindu wives :)so that one was successful.
so if Indian culture means nothing to you *though Jewish, Muslim, Catholics also care very much for their own and their respective communities abroad & in India....what your mother stands for, your father, what values they raised you with, what culture you were raised with:: then great:) atleast they won't be missing out on anything if you lack the love for what your parents raised you with &how &why that was so.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Am89rl05T6g&feature=channel_page
& less than 5% of you have "yellow hair" it is a recessive gene!! the sh** you put in your hair dye is bleach & ammonia!
:) See http://priya-priya26.blogspot.com/
see how aged you are by 35...then walk into a Hindu temple & see the Indian Hindu women& mothers in their 50's 60's with no wrinkles!! your aged & haggard looking by 35 even!
if you're hot it's because your pathetic culture has been doing this: killing 100 million South Americans during time of Columbus, enslaving blacks for hundreds of years, then having a whole culture of being retarded exhibitionists doing nude dances for $10 for whole populations of men - you're pathetic, not hot. Indian girls would never be that pathetic to have whole culture "gone wild" for $5! you're raised on nothing!!
and Indian women would never be so classless & filthy nor that pathetic :
see celebrity nipples in Google! See Popcrunch link.
Every last diamond was taken from India including Hope and Kohinoor! India's GDP was 24% of world market prior to British coming, then 3%! Good for nothing skanks who have 70% HPV problem and 1/4 Herpes!
and your own men love you so much they divorce you 50% within 7 years and 80% after even with kids!
Do you see pathetic Jewish Chinese Russian girls begging for Mexicans or Anglos or Africans..no only you, beggars in their underwear on the streets and every city & rural area for $10!
hot til 20 then gross by 35! and fat by then, on your big macs and your turkey, liver, ham, chicken, pig sandwiches. :) Indian food and Indian Hindu women are more delicious and more beautiful- your an atheist and pathetic on your Gimme More strippers for teens culture..you have no lines, no lows, just your horror and porn tv. The few respectable classy "white women" are the Christians and Catholics who love their own men & their own religion, in same way Muslim women love their own or Chinese or Mexican women! trash!
You can not judge all white women being this way. I would not judge all Indian women having an aggressive attidude and walking around in low cut tops showing cleavage. I have known some to even do drugs. As a white women I will not be around those who do so.
Having wrinkles is more so in the genes and part of it is in your life style. I know an Indian women who is my friend and is 8 years younger then me, but looks much, much older then I do. Go figure that one out.
Yes, there are many cultures and the way we are brought up, I was brought up in a stable happy family and wasnt able to date until I turned 18 years old!.
So, do not judge by color or race, we all have our good and bad in the way we live.
Only God judges.
When you generalize all white women to act or look a certain way, it makes me question if all indian women dwell in such a narrow and bigoted view of other cultures.
I definitely see why the Indian man starting the post wants to marry a White Woman- and I don't blame him if you are indicative of what he has to deal with. I am proud of him in his wanting to escape the self-righteous culture that you exemplify through your words.
When I think of the woman I want to marry, I don't see a woman's color of skin- I see that her ideals and values match my own. I see someone who above all respects others as she does herself and interacts with others through the same dignity and respect.
I guess I wont find her in India. Please stop your hatred priya. It's absurd.
they are all insults at Indian women and culture....usually if there's some $ to be made because a given ethnicity's mom & dad worked their asses off to give their kids a good life after losing majority of it's wealth from UK colonization...well, other women come running for their piece of the pie to be stay at home moms &wives. Not one of our Hindu moms was a stay at home from coming to this country.
Indian women have to take alot of insults especially frm the foreign women on forums & real life. I don't take it personally because I know how difficult it is to find a very religious husband like the Baptist and practicing Christians in US. Hindus are the same...so I"m not offended nor are the millions of Indian women that get insulted by foreign women who want "Indian boyfriends" so neither should you be...on that forum we are referred to as "promiscuous, gold diggers, unattractive, entitled, easy, too traditional, blah blah blah." p.s. we're not Indian, we're Hindu in same way most of you are Catholic or Christian or Muslim :)
and it is a fact we keep our age alot slower as a majority & don't need botox much younger, it's science behind the melanin & skin damage...unless you & your friends are stay at home moms well, then there you go, your skin was protecting from uva & uvb damage (melanin skin damage in Google)I know us Hindu Indians are supposed to be sheepish & terrified of the white majority here...soooo sorry I am not especially with the history of killing natives & S. Americans (Columbus genocide danielpaul.com)
Everyone has a right to defend their religion, culture, genes, and you should be stronger about it to not be so offended! 99% of us marry within anyway as do most ethnicities/religions so really a response is unnecessary.
i mean choice of ethnicity of women
i like brunettes not blondes,black women,and a bit arabian women too
its totally perceptional..
i don't see why parents should take away the liberty of choosing ur bride
thats the problem the common indian male faces..and hell it really is a gr8 pain in the ass for a man of ur age with a good job
-parents hurrying u up to get a "bahu".
damn it the empty dogmas of society and culture bullsh*t i don't like this only about my country's culture...
we're slaves to the indian culture and societal restrictions-we can't fking enjoy our lives leave that,talk of indian girls! its even more a hell for them!
well perfect example of someone who isnt like this is my darling mother- shes a natural blonde 47 year old woman & she looks about 25 :) shes not fat, not unhealthy, not wrinkly, not a w****, not a begger (all the things u described white women to be) & most importantly- shes not half as rude as you are!!
your tryna talk indian women up, but your going the wrong way about it- by putting down white women..
sure there are some fat ugly bleach blond white women out there, but theres also fat unhealthy ugly indian women (probly more so). & from what youve said- seems like theres alot of jelous ones to:)
and yeah there are lots of hookers & sl*ts etc, but thers also alot of respectable white women out there aswell.
& at the end of the day- id rather be a wrinkly 40 year old than a black one with a red dot on my forehead!
i can see why the guy who started this post doesnt want a indian women if your what most of them are like!
@ priyaraixx
You are no better than the people you are generalizing either. You are a racist yourself, dnt assume that every women in India is so white and virginal.And if they are it is just because they are not given a choice to make most of their life choices. At least the western woman choose to wear clothes that they prefer quiet unlike the Indian woman who fears the society condemning them if they wear revealing clothing.
What is so holy and pure at the fact that India bans porn? Do you think people in India do not watch porn, btw the whole act of condemning porn come from Christian ideologies(no offens thou)and India has the oldest porn book written 'kama sutra' have you visited khajrao temple- a temple which has sex positions depicted in its walls. The hindu religion 's original ideas never saw sex as a sin!
Also you talk about the high divorce rates in the west, you must understand that most of these people have made choices regarding what sort of partners they want in life. In India on the other hand women are brought up thinking that they belong to some man.Married off at early ages they live see woman sacrificing their entire lives for their husbands and children and so think nothing of it. They are condemned by the society if they get a divorce and thus they fear it. Marital rape is still Legal in India and up till the domestic violence act 2005 was passed domestic violence was still acceptable by law!
Hindu amendment act 2005 was when woman could official inherit property to which they had no legal rights prior to this act. Do you know the amount of violence that take place every year against women and how fragile the Indian legal system is.
Am not condemning India, am an indian myself but dnt go all high and mighty before understanding wht is really going on.
There is nothing to brag about femininity and the fact that Indian women are so docile whn all they get from it is suffering. Maybe we should take a leaf out of the western culture's progressiveness and try to accept the fact that woman should be strong!