Are You Normal?

Curious how others might perceive your situation? Submit your story today and find out what others think...

Home > All Categories > Relationships

Is he becoming abusive?
19% Normal
11 Comments

I've been seeing this guy for almost a year now, but recently his behavior has changed. He's started saying sexist things, but insists he's joking. ("You're not where I put you--get back in your spot!") He lit his lighter and ran it over the heel of my foot (it didn't burn me). A while later he put his lit cigarette an inch away from my stomach and stared at me. When I told him to stop he said, "Don't whine, it didn't burn you."

When we first met, he always talked about how much he hated it when men abused women, but I'm not sure I like where this is going.
Do you think it's normal?
Does this story fit one of these flags? If so, click it! [Best Of] [Funny] [Interesting] [Weird][Lame] [Off Topic] [Innapropriate]
Comments (11)
sjaomn00 (20607)
2009-03-08 18:55:28
well, i cant say i approve of his behavior...but maybe he is just playing or joking. My boyfriend messes with me sometimes like that and if i think hes crossing a line, i tell him aout it and he stops. I think you should just tell him if he scares you or whatever. If hes a keeper...heel stop, if he dosent stop or is insensitive about it...time to let him go
Reply
Jim_Pfoss (19247)
2009-03-08 20:50:37
People can only put up a front for so long. You are finally seeing the real man in the clown suit. Get out now before he hurts you.
Reply
butterflygal (20171)
2009-03-10 21:14:58
Unfortunately, playing can get out of hand real easy and turn in to extreme abuse. Talk to your boyfriend and explain to him that you know he is only joking, but it makes you unconfortable and would like him to stop. If he is a good guy, he will understand and respect the way you feel and stop. If he keeps it up, then he is definitely not the kind of guy you want to be dating.
Reply
fingersandknuckles (21004)
2009-03-16 02:11:56
I think you're feeling uneasy for a reason. I suppose you could say this about every question on this site (or anywhere for that matter) but if you're asking, it means that you know something is wrong here. Go with your gut and get out of there, fast.
Reply
dinchuckdinchuck (22777)
2009-05-07 22:29:09
Try sticking up for yourself and have a long chat with him about his behavior. If he still does it, it's time to dump him and move on.
Reply
lemon (1677)
2009-05-15 12:53:15
Maybe he was only saying that when you first met to test your reaction to it. If you weren't too offended by men who hurt their partners, then he knew you would be right for him?

It does start very slow. Looks like there's a lot of testing and watching your response to see if you'll take it. Abusive relationships usually do start out okay and get worse and worse.
Reply
Ollieo (19003)
2009-05-17 08:03:10
"Becoming" nothing - he's there - says sexist things, says he control, plays with burning you. Leave. If you want to talk to him about it, tell him why you are leaving & that he needs help.
Reply
bookworm006 (23351)
2009-05-27 19:14:58
He will eventually hit u or something! The SAME EXACT thing happened to my bffs mom GET OUT!
Reply
bitethebrat (24493)
2009-06-21 00:54:26
If you don't like it, talk to him and tell him how you feel and your worrys. If you are feeling something is not right with it then it prolly isn't. Trust yourself. Be safe.
Reply
xmegwoodx (25155)
2009-07-07 01:34:33
Sounds exactly like the beginning of an abusive relationship I was in.
Reply
generalknowledge (19813)
2009-07-20 13:46:21
if he so much as raises an eyebrow in a way you don't like, beat the crap out of him. put him in his place. don't end up like one of those suckers that get into it, but are too scared to get out
Reply