Since I was a child, I have been socially awkward. I had one friend every so often that would come and go. When I was 11 I had a best friend who tried to change that, she was popular and showed me how to interact a little more with people. We had been best friends for 10years and her friends were my friends but I hadn't really made friends of my own. In recent years, I am now 21, we realized we had major differences and had gone our separate ways and I have been almost completely friendless. I live in a shared house and the closest person to me is my boyfriend. The people in the house all drink together and get destructive which I am not too interested in joining. I just want to go out and enjoy myself with someone I can laugh with, and I don't want to depend on my boyfriend as my only social interaction. I had a close friend recently but now all I see of her is the millions of comments she make to her other friends on facebook, which I'll admit gets me a little jealous because I have been discarded so suddenly. Am I just simply that unappealing to others? Most of the time it makes me feel incompetent and I shouldn't exist.