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Is it normal for men to feel the need to look at other women?
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I am female and committed to my husband 100%. I love him so much and would never do anything to jeopardise us. I can honestly say I don't look at other men as in my opinion have the man I want.

Would men kindly tell me why they feel the need to look at other women when they are in committed relationships and the thoughts that Run through there mind.

My husband who is 14 years younger than me always looks at other women and I know men do it because it's apparently built into them but what they don't realise is that it hurts.

So why do men look. What goes through there mind??????

Please help!!!
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Comments (49)
Don't worry about it if he's just looking. As a male, personally I just check out girls to see if they're hot or not. The thinking never goes past that.
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It's called being human. People look at attractive things. As long as he's not making obscene gestures and vulgar comments it's a natural thing. It's not like he's asking them out or sleeping with them. Maybe you're not confident in his feelings for you? My boyfriend sometimes looks at other women and damn, if her jugs are all hanging out I'd probably look too. But I know who he wants to go home with. :)
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My grandma used to complain about my granddad doing this back in the day. He told her, "I gave you my heart, not my eyes." :))
Men AND women check people out. Maybe people check you out? Never know...
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You should talk to him about it if it bothers you.

But having said that, you really need to understand that the way that men think is very different than the way women think. Often times when a woman looks at an attractive man, she wants to have a long term relationship with him. She might think of marrying him or having children with him. This is completely different than the way men think. A man can look at a woman, think she is attractive and have no interest at all in having a long term relationship with her. No interest at all. He could just be looking at her because she is pretty, pure and simple. This is especially the case of a man who loves his woman. I have been in love with one woman, and I see another woman walking down the street. I may think the other girl is hot, I may have thoughts of sleeping with her, but am I actually going to act on this? NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. The fact that I check her out means NOTHING.
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Uh I'm a woman and I look as well.
If its bothering you tell him and he will probably be more considerate. Other than that it doesn't really mean much at all usually, just...looking~
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thinkingaboutit
Omg grow a backbone. Look at other men if you want to? You cant expect another person to live by the same "inner rules" and principles that you do. Just because you think that looking at another man is somehow deceitful to your husband doesnt mean you have the right to try to make him feel guilty. Obviously, if his blatantly checking a woman out in front of you, thats grounds for having a serious conversation. Besides that YOU CANNOT HELP BUT LOOK AT A WOMAN OR MAN YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE. I know you know this very well. So what? You are actively looking for another explanation as to why people look at other people? There is none. If he wasn't with you he would loooove to fuck another woman; deal with it. Obviously you stole his heart and he loves you more than his carnal desires. SO just fucking be happy.
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You should join in - it can be a fun thing you can share together!
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wigsplitz
Yeah, right...why do women have to make all the compromises? That would be like me telling my man that he should look at hot dudes with me, and that's not likely. But-it's only fair, right??

Besides, that's a road she WON'T want to go down if she's already got a problem with the guy just simply looking. All it will do is put an idea in his head that it's OK with her (when it's clearly NOT), that she likes it and that there's possibility of a threesome or some crap like that. He'll start talking about it all the time and going too far with it, pretty much guaranteed.

Bad advice.
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I was kidding. I guess sarcasm doesn't translate well. ;)
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I tend to attract bi girls (I have no idea why, but am willing to listen to anyone's theory). I'm not much of a gawper but I'm definitely a glancer. The girls I've been out with more often glance at other girls than boys. It's always seemed natural for us to compare notes. I like the honesty of it.
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wigsplitz
@: dappled
Probably because you seem like a liberal type and most likely you attend liberal-leaning social events and attract the same in friends. I mean, you don't likely hang out with uber-religious, intolerant or stuffy people.
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I recommend breast implants If ure worried about him checking other womens tits. I'm pretty sure he'd like the idea and they'll spice up ure sex life and he'll prolly know he's got awesome boobies just for his eyes only at home Just an idea
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I have the girl of my dreams and I still look sometimes. Its out of habit mainly. There's no meaning behind it other than to look. I never compare her of anything like that.
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Tylee- CHILL OUT.
Every man looks. It's just what they do- our brains work differently than theirs so we won't ever understand "why"
...just keep telling yourself that he chose YOU. Not those other women.
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Gems
Poor you! Unfortunately, as a straight female, that is your cross to bear. Most men are preoccupied with sex. That is just the nature of the beast.
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I think you are going to get extremes of opinion here because personal opinion varies so much. Whilst some may see it as complete cheating others see it as harmless. My view is that it's just something men tend to do, they are very visual creatures and half the time seem to do it without thinking too much of it. Does that mean you have to like it? No! I must admit that even being in a very stable relationship myself I still admire the male form from a distance if a good looking specimen walks by, I think it's just natural and doesn't really mean anything if the relationship is committed. As you've said you have self esteem issues it can be very difficult to feel at ease with a partner whom blatantly does eye up other people, you need to give yourself more credit :) afterall it's you he's committed to and everyone tends to be harsh to themselves when they look in the mirror. Oh and ignore age related comments, older ladies can pull off sexy way better than some teeny tramp :)
Now as far as the problem itself goes your best bet is to talk to him and ask him not to stare at other women when you are out together, or surprise him with a sexy outfit when he gets home from work, spice it up and pull his attention back but I suspect you will have to accept it to a degree.
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Gems. Please don't patronise me. I'm not out for sympathy. I just hurt ok which I thought was a normal feeling and emotion when you love someone.
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Jackblue
LOL i like have read all the comment for like the last 5 minutes and some make sense some are dumb.
Dont get implants if u dont want too. if u onley get then becuse it will make ur husband happy hell no!
its normal for guys to look. WE onley look nothing else. if he likes you then he would do nothing else then look.
i look at like everyone. my gf doesent care. but thats another thing.
what im trying to say is that even tough he looks, thats all he does. for example he doesent go and say" HEY BABA WANNE GO TO MY PLACE" all he does is look. it shouldent be a big deal. and u never said why it hurts??

p.s
when i said my gf doesent care its becuse shes BI. she actully checks out some people herself but she doesent do something CRAZY like GO and make out with HER/HIM.
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cocobeanz
My husband does the same thing...an I think it hurts cause you wonder why he couldn't just look at you and then you conclude that you are not good enough...which is a lie that women make up in their heads... My husband said that he does not even realize that he does it! I told him that I notice every time looks at other girls and I don't like it. He said that it's like a dog when they see a squirrel or a ball is thrown...it's an instinct!! If you think about it, at the end of the day, do you think he's going to even remember any of the girls he looked at...? No. He's not cause he's married to you and in love with you...And if you think about it, he prolly checks you out a lot too when you two are together. at the end of the day, he's in love with you! End of story! :) hope this helps!!!
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^ that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Getting implants in the first place is a stupid idea. But to get them just to make your man happy? That is even stupider.
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Yah its coz guys are retarded and can't just be happy with one woman and I'll never understand either
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Ok looking at women is one thing but making a fb account to compliment his ex and some other girls? Heck no that's not cool. If he makes u feel like shit now it's only gonna get worse. Your probably brush it off but you'll regret the time you wasted. Your gonna believe everything he tells you and I don't blame you but if your a strong woman you need to leave asap. No one should make you feel like crap all the time, let alone your husband! He's not gonna change so except it or move on
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My husband knows I don't like it and yes I'm very insecure due to an incident when he was drinking and I was feeding our 8 week old son in bed he was downstairs and set up a fictitious fb account and contacted his ex that he says he hates and sent her two messages saying she was well fit. Plus he added two other women that I know of and sent one of them a message too saying she was well fit. It has knocked my confidence big time. He also joined a group saying likes girls with the biggest tits. His ex has big ones where I have lost mine due to breastfeeding. I'm always starring at women when we are out and looking at there bust then glance to see if he is gorping. It hurts so much. All of it. He knows it has but said he was doing it to make the other women apps as he put it. It should have been me he was paying the compliments and attention too. It's caused big problems in our marriage and left me feeling like shit. I guess it's something I will just have to learn to get over.
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That's really awful, your husband should be ashamed of yourself. You're the mother to his child and this is how he treats you?
It's one thing glancing at other people (I can't help looking at other men whether I'm single or not) but if I were in a relationship I would NEVER gorp, compliment, or even start chatting to a new man. You just don't don't do it.
I feel for you but don't let him do it to you, you deserve better than that.
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You are a clingy psyco bitch and you area lier, as if you've never looked at another man hahaha
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girls look at beauty too tho but in a different way you might have to nudge him
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It's instinct, men always want to be aware of their surrounding.

When i was last in a long term relationship i was still looking, but it meant nothing more than rating what i'm seeing.
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just because a man looks at another woman doesnt mean he wants anything to do with that woman. i mean, if a woman likes to talk to other men, should their boyfriend or husband worry about it, No, not unless he notices that she is flirting alot or has any intentions to date and/or sleep with any of them


Now, if your into "Sharing" your wife with other men, just make sure she has your permission first. and vice versa.
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Doesn't mean anything. They just can't help to look.
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I think it's supposedly normal but it doesn't make it okay in any sense. I never look at other men because I have what I want in my bf.
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Thats a bit harsh. I don't wanna look at other men thanks. I've got all I want. There is such a thing called respect you know and being deceitful is not something married couples should do to each other. your obviously happy with yourself and never had you confidence knocked. If for one minute I thought I was the dogs bollocks then I wouldn't give a shit who he looked at but when you have low self esteem and depression it ain't what you wanna see your man doing. I think there are probably more women out there that feel the same as I do they just don't admit it. Thanks for your kind words not. Talk about knock a person when there down.
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JohnyBravo. Thanks for that. It was his choice to marry me and have a son with me. I put all that to him before we married and had a family together. He said he loves me for me. Age is just a number but I guess only time will tell a. If that's the case I might as well give up now and save myself from any more pain and heartache and try move on and live what life I have left raising my baby son on my own even if I am old enough to be his nanny. I'm only 38. Thanks for that.
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I agree with buddah
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Well you could ask him to not do it in front of you but, too stop completely would mean he would have to stop doing something that has been 2nd nature for a lifetime. which i might add is probably the way he was looking at you when he first met you minus a thousand. If something looks nice were gonna look at it. Not trying to be mean and im sure every guy is with me on this one (please be with me on this one guys) The way a woman cant not look at jewelry of any kind or shoes or any of that stuff you girls like, females are all those things plus alot it would be kinda tough not to look... #justsayin
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Jackblue. It hurts I suppose because I want him in a selfish kinda way to only have eyes for me as I do him. I don't rate myself at all and have a very low self esteem and since losing my boobage makes me feel less of a woman as I'm not used to it. I've always been the jealous type. I really honestly don't know why. Perhaps it's because I feel I'm not good enough.
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Well I just said breast implants because I belong on the itty bitty titty committee so just be glad u got what u have Consider u know how it feels for us girls that are in our early twenties and wear little girl bras still least ure blessed with boobs be greatful
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Jackblue
women! have confidence in youreself. i bet youre a Great girl in both personality and apperance. and ask urself this does he like u becuse of ur personality or apperance? if its apperance then maybe he is'nt the right guy? and for the selfish part. i learned at a very young age(14) that being selfish is not good! i actully had a summerjob and donated a third of what i was making to save the pandas.(but now these days seemed they are doomed). Try out not being selfish. it feels thousend times better and lasts better then selfishness??

Sorry from spelling, what can i say im from sweden!
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I'm not a physcho nor a bitch or lier nor selfish. I put everyone before myself. Always have done. I'd give someone my last penny and the clothes of my back if I had too. I'm feeling like shit because a seed has been planted in my brain and it's very hard to overcome.
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why do get offended if he looks at other woman?its normal if brat pitt walked passed u and he wasnt famous i bet u would look but that doesnt mean u going screw him or anything.aslong as a man doesnt touch theres no harm.and u been jelous will only couse more drama.next time he checks some1 out u check her out 2 and say something like: yeh i would tap that" and lol about it.relax
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im a man well teen .ive got the girl i always wanted but i look it doesnt meen anything it just meens hes attracted to beauty
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yeah its normal and means nothing. But still it kinda sucks lol. If he doesnt have any other intentions then i wouldnt say anything. (im like you). You wanna pretend you dont care and your confident! :)
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why does it hurt? im just not seeing it, i wouldnt care if my wife looked at other men as long as that was as far as it went, which in these cases most of the time thats all it is. we look at women to compare them, because its like being a food critic except, the food doesnt get hurt or pissed off when you try the spaghetti instead of the salad. its just looking i know this sounds a tiny bit harsh but get over it, unless hes hitting on other women or groping women as he passes them on the street then you do not have anything to complain about, its just looking.
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I'm a woman and I look at other men all the time and if I see an attractive man walking down the street or one of my boyfriend's handsome male friends is hanging out with us I usually imagine what he looks like naked or doing naughty things.

Not sure why everyone on here is making it sound like all women either don't look at men or see them in a romantic way.

Not the case here.
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u know i have o bf too and thats my problem..its rily hut evryday im always thinking maybe he will look another girl or he will invite another girl to go out and take to his apartment.u know im always checking his mails and messages and i found something not good too..of course as a woman who loyal and truly love his man its rily hurt..i was thinking that i must to leave im asap.so that i will not hurt my own self to catching and looking whom he is chatting but i cant i dont know why..?its rily hurt to be like that i feel what u feel..i understand u..only thing thayt we can do is..just let them do what they want and maybe someday they will realize that we will make by our own way to forget and not to hurt so much.try to not contact him,..take a vacation without him,,then when u will going back u should show him that u are not affected even yes..hope that my comment make u feel better..)-
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I read a study that said when a man meets an attractive woman for the first time, he thinks about fucking her in the FIRST FIVE SECONDS. No matter who he is with, or how much he loves his wife, he will be thinking of fucking the new girl as he shakes her hand.
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My husband always says, "A man's eyes are attracted to beauty." I don’t like it either but I'm guessing it's normal. :/
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I dont want to be fake. I have what I have and lost what I did through giving our son the best start in life. I don't look at other mens manhood or give my husband a complex about his so why do men want something on a woman that ain't even got a personality. Surely it's what's inside that counts.
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If it hurts you, talk to em about it! Let em know it hurts you! It would help you understand a lot more and prevent you from possibly being hurt!
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JohnyBravo
"14 years younger than me"

You wonder why he's looking...He will leave you some day no one wants to be around a grandma girlfriend
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