Ok so my dad died on the 2nd of feburary, 2011 of throat cancer. My mother and father were divorced and lived in seperate houses. I lived with my mum because it was closer to everything as my dad lived in the countryside. I would visit him every fortnight and stay for two days then go back to my mums. I loved my dad very much, he was my bestfriend, my role model and my mentor. I was at the hospital for two weeks straight with the occasional going home for clothes, I would shower at the hospital and eat their disgusting food just to make sure my dad had company while he was in the hospital. The day he died I went home to grab clothes, At first I declined when my mum asked me if I wanted to go home then I thought maybe I should we'll only be gone for about 15 minutes. When I got home i packed some clothes and then the phone rang, My mum came into my room and said my father passed away just after we left so we went back to the hospital to say our final goodbyes. At his funeral At least 50-60 people were crying when we has taken away in the Hearse with bagpipes playing as he was taken away, I stood there the entire time not crying. It's been a year and although I'm still sad and still cannot believe he's gone and that I'm going to grow up without him,I still can't cry.... Am I a horrible son?