My boyfriend and I are both 20 years old. We have been together since we were 15 years old. We have lived together since we were about 18. He is my everything and we can't be apart for more than a few hours before we start missing each other. I know he loves me with all of his heart. When we first started dating I found out he had been texting other girls and sending them pictures of his penis. We broke up for a few days then were back together. He then did it a few months later. We again broke up and got back together. I just figured that it was a boy thing, but it still broke my heart. This continued through out the year. The next two years were great. He never once did anything to hurt me. He acted totally in love with me. I asked him what caused him to change and he replied he respected me more. He recently went to the away to special school it was for boys for 8 weeks. He would send me text telling me how much he missed me and would call me crying. He has been home for about 4 weeks now and I recently discovered (2 days ago) he had text another girl and sent her a picture while in the academy. I confronted him about it and of course he told me the truth that he had indeed texted her. I asked him why and he told me he had been in the academy with all those boys and since I wouldn't send him anything he had to text someone else. (I will not send him anything because it gives me bad memories of what he used to do.) I also went out to his truck and found a list of about 4 girls numbers with the girls he had text in the academy on it. I also asked him about that and he told me he had text the other 3 girls trying to hook a friend up with one of them. Which I know this guy asked him to help him. I have cried for two nights and haven't been able to eat. He tells me he is sorry and that it will never happen again. I had it in my mind to leave the next time this happened, but I just can't do it. I love him so much and he isn't just my boyfriend but my best friend too. We don't do anything without each other. I know he doesn't want any of these girls. Its like a guy having a one night fling, but with sexting. He also says I don't show him affection or compliment him. Which I will admit, I don't. Is this normal that I am still with my boyfriend or am I just stupid?
Are You Normal?
Ask your question today!
There is always something better out there for you.
Obviously it's normal to stay with him if you love him and forgive him so easily. But if you keep being all sweet and loving when he screws up, he won't learn. A lot of men are like dogs, you can either be nice and tell them to stop doing something and eventually have it happen again, or you can get mean about it and they'll try to avoid you getting angry. Dogs really hate making their masters angry.
If you can or can't live with this is your choice, but I highly doubt it will stop. You could consider sending him pictures if that's really what he wants and needs in a relationship. If not you might have to go separate paths, your happiness comes first, and if you aren't happy then you can't possibly make someone else happy. There are people in this world who don't do these things but you really have to search and be willing to make and live with the many mistakes that people make to find one
The future is up to you. Can you live with a man like this, or will you take your chances with the unfamiliar hoping things get better?
Everyone has been socialized to believe that when you're with someone you should closet your sexuality to that person. In the end, you see how well that works out.
People werent meant to be monogamous. Plain and simple.
...No wonder he behaved that way. If you love someone you need to show them, not just tell them. For a healthy relationship you need to satisfy each other's needs. (Within reason, nothing that makes one or both of you uncomfortable.) If you don't want to send him a dirty pic borrow his phone and take one. He'd love to see that surprise. Hell, take more than one. He WANTS to jerk off to you, you shut him out so he just resulted to asking a couple whores. Of course he is in the wrong, but you need to take some blame too.
If he doesn't feel like you are loving him, if he doesn't feel appreciated, he won't be happy. And if he's not happy he'll act out in an attempt to get your attention and notice what you're doing. It's an excuse for him to bring up what he doesn't want to admit.
I dunno, makes sense to me though. Sounds like you need to think more about your relationship and if you guys are really right for each other. Or at least openly discuss your needs together and get on the path to a healthy, lasting relationship.
The classic line "im sorry it will never happen again"
Truth is, and hes proven it, Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater that should be a motto baby girl if you want to stay with him if you feel you have "invested" in him since you say you've been for 5 years, then be ready for the consistent red flags in the past, right now the present, and high probability will continue to in the future.
You are young just because he was your "first sweetheart" doesnt necessarily mean you should thus be binded to him to withstand all this in the future. No one forgets their first love blah blah blah yeah i know but its not "him or no one else" thats blind, and rather stupid might i add
This doesnt sound like a healthy relationship. Think of yourself do you really want to be like this asking IIN users and spilling out your heartache is this the kind of relationship you dream of
Sound like a bit of a fool to me, pet.
and yes i think its normal, relationships will ALWAYS have its up in down, and it seems like he really made up for what hes done.
i kinda think though you should show him more affection if u dont, its only right seens you guys do love each other.
Just out of curiosity what kind of relationship do your parents have? Did your father lie and cheat on your mother? Is your mother cold and distant toward him? Maybe you should see a therapist to help you through this and help you understand why you feel the need to put up with these unhealthy patterns? Understand you are powerless over his thoughts and actions and whether or not he is sexting other girls. You're not responsible for his actions. Leave him be and move on with your life. You're too young to be throwing your life away like this. I wish you all the best!
Also check out CoDA which stands for Codependents anonymous <a href="http://www.coda.org/" rel="nofollow" class="ui-link">http://www.coda.org/</a>
That shit spreads, ever heard of 'revenge porn' also he doesn't sound very remorseful at least break up with him for a bit just to teach him a lesson. Try getting with another dude when your out of the relationship, 'ok cupid' dating site is good for this and work on the affection thing with the other dude, best of luck also move in/ hang out with girlfriends and ben and jerry <3
love/dateing is hard babe xxx