I have noticed that even during sex I have a difficult time even getting aroused unless the girl lets me be rough with her (choking, hitting) and even still I often want to be even more violent. This has begun to bother me however because I realize I cannot have a healthy relationship with someone I respect because sexually I feel a need to degrade women. Normal sex and normal pornography just do nothing for me. I realize that my thoughts are sadistic, I just dont know what can be done about it. I want to be able to enjoy healthy sexual activities but feel unable too. I feel like Im unable to have both sexual arousal and respect for the same person. It is also near impossible to find someone to argee to participate in all my sadistic fantacies.