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Is it normal that I can't get too close with anyone?
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A little background info: I'm 21 years old, a commuting college student, and I don't think I'm particularly close to anyone except for 2 girls and my other guy friend. I do have friends, but I feel like my shyness and social anxiety inhibits me from making good friends as opposed to acquaintances. I wasn't really this way in high school though, which makes me dislike college even more.

Are you guys also the same way and is this something I should be very worried about?
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Comments (18)
Three people doesn't count as anyone?
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@: radar
It does. And I know this sounds foolish, but I see other people who are close to alot of people and I wish I could be that way too.
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I think it depends on the circumstance. The more you interact with someone, the closer you can possible be. Either that or you learn they're a total douche and disassociate yourself from them.

I'm a college Freshman, and my good friends live on the same floor, or near my premises. We're always interacting with each other, learning about our personalities, and getting into arguments.

There are 5 of us, and we're perfectly content. Why don't you try living in the college dorms? they kind of force you to socialize.
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That's true, but I'm a commuter and already a junior, so I'd rather just live at home.
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Yeah, I understand :) Well then, you're not the only one. There's nothing abnormal about you... socializing takes practice and time. Plenty of time in my opinion.
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It's not foolish.

You say you weren't this way in high school. Do you mean you were close to a lot of people then?

I think sometimes people appear to have more friends or be closer to more people than they really are. I wouldn't guess it's actually all that common to have a lot of truly close friends.
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@: radar
That's sensible, like maybe we're too hasty to put labels on people? Yes, I would say I was closer to alot of people back then and could connect more with others in general.
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Yeah, something like that. Can't find the words right now to explain further.

If you think there's a problem and it's that you've become more shy, then there's your answer as far as what to work on.

I do think three good friends is a perfectly normal number of them to have, though.
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People who are "close" to a lot of people frequently aren't close to anyone at all. Three good friends sounds perfect to me.
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Just move in a little closer.

Start off by sharing the same bench then keep inching towards them till they notice you and Kablaam either they will pull away or they will also move closer.
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Step out of your box. When you meet someone in class, ask them if they want to get coffee afterwards to go over material. Then make sure to follow up with that person if you like them to make more plans.

Some people you will automatically connect with, others will take time. But honestly, college is the best place to meet people, even if you commute. Find a job on campus! Or join clubs or go to meetings or attend speakers. It make take you some time to adjust but you will learn that most people are cool and at the very least talk to you. It'll help you figure out how to best approach new people and you'll find that making new friends isn't anxiety producing.
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I liked your post, makes everything feel more hopeful.
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Thanks! I'm a part of 2 cultural clubs and a religious association, and I feel like we do have meetings and bonding moments which I attend, but I feel like I haven't really gotten close to anyone. However, it seems like they all connected with at least a subgroup quickly, so I think I just need to keep doing what I'm doing. Thanks for the suggestions!
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dirtybirdy
Stay out of my bubble.
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Are you the bubble bird?
*leaves a present inside the bubble**
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hey, its strange, I feel the exact same way and just posted something similar.
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Really? It's good to know we're not alone in this then :) and things will improve hopefully! Are you shy as well?
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Its just change. Its normal :)
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