I've been living in my own apartment for almost a half year now as an university student and naturally I've dipped my toes in the typical student life. I honestly thought that if I would take this leap I would grow in personal strength, find real friends, I thought that the world would open itself up for me. I took all the necessary steps, only to be disappointed. What I found out is how selfish people are, I found out nobody cares about anyone else if they can't benefit in some way from you. I grow empty listening to people that refuse to talk about something meaningful, to watch people only care about fucking as many people as they can, from whatever gender they're into. Nobody cares about meaning, about making a real connection, and if they appear to it's just a facade to get you to notice them. I'm not ugly or anything, I take a considerable amount of time to look decent, not perfect but decent. I sometimes hear people complaining about how they haven't fucked in a week, it makes me genuinely mad that people can be so shallow. Of all the problems I have, of all the mistakes I've made and things I've fought for, I have some kind of doubt that maybe I'd change it if I could, but not with this. I am twenty years of age and still a virgin, and I honestly don't care what anyone makes of that, but for some reason society just revolves around sex because apparently some people think I'm not a real man until I have done so. I become more and more distant to my peers as I don't just hate this mentality, I hate everything about our animalistic nature that leads some of us to only care about fucking and fucking... and I envy them. I envy them because their lives must be so unbelievably simple, as long as they have something to fuck they can be happy and whole. It is obvious by now if you've read this far into my post that I'm not happy myself, so I'm too biased to think clearly. As a final note, I would like to emphasize that I don't hate sex itself. I think sex can be a beautiful thing if it's not abused like this, only if there is a real connection between the participants. Strangers or people that barely know each other however, I can never understand that.