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Is it normal that i genuinely want to murder my girlfriend's ex?
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I'm in love with a girl. She's in love with me. Everything would be like a dream if it wasn't for her ex. He is the most toxic, evil, manipulative man on earth (think rape and violence). I can handle this guy. I'm itching to punch his eyes out of his head to be honest. She was married to him and has kids with him.
But his continued presence in our lives is making me crazy. Whenever she goes round his place to see the kids, he will take a shot at trying to stick it in her or persuade her to go back to him. He sends her texts at 3am, he tells her he wants a piece of her, he bought her a valentines present a week ago. My main problem is that my gf seems unable or unwilling to sort it out. She's scared of confrontation and likes to keep the peace. All i want from her is to show some balls against the tactics of this prick, so i don't have to keep doing it.
What i don't need is 'she's with you don't worry about it' or 'just ignore him' or 'she's got kids with him so deal with it'. I would love some genuine advice about what to say to her and what to expect from her, how to minimise his influence on us, how to move forward with our lives with this guy's ghost following us around. Thanks folks xx
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Comments (16)
Forget about him being an ex for a minute, this guy is harrassing your girlfriend. You need to get up in his face and warn him that if he tries it one more time he will be sorry, then if he does you need to simply kick the shit out of him.
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I feel that she has already been through enough drama with him and would rather not ignite more. You need to have a sit down with her and make her realize how much unwanted stress he's brining into your lives. She could easily get a restraining order. She can't expect you two to be happy together in the future if this guy is lingering around messing with you two. He's absolutely insane and should get help. I've been with his type before and it only ends when you make it end. One day he might snap and hurt her.
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Don't get with people who have kids with others, or whose baby mama/daddies are still in their children's lives (at least), problem solved.
Not only does this solve your baby daddy problem, but it solves a problem of being with someone who made such a great mistake to get with that particular type of person in the first place and have kids with them, which tells me there is other things wrong with her as well.
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Well, she's going to want to get custody of the kids. If she can file some police report, hospital report, something proving that he is abusive to her, he can be deemed unfit and unsafe to raise those kids. That seems to me like the only way to get him out of her life as much as possible.

Otherwise, aside from doing something stupidly illegal which will probably make her life much more difficult and complex, you'll just have to accept the situation for what it is. She's going to have to be the one to take the action. I can understand why you hate him, but you need to keep things civil, otherwise he can go to court and prove that SHE shouldn't have the kids around because of YOUR behavior.

In the end, he is the man that she chose to have kids with and unless something happens to them, she is bound to him forever so you'll have to learn to cope with this.
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Do you think your girlfriend would be willing to go to counselling?
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its wierd that ur gf doesnt want to confront him...maybe she's cheating on u
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Bro, if your chick wants to cheat with on you, she will. There;s not much you can do about it either way, so try and just chill about it. If he's harassing her, document it all, take it to the police, and file for a restraining order.

Personally, I would say that no women would be worth enough to have that much drama in my life, so I would just ditch her and find someone else without all the "baggage" etc... But that's just me. This guy isn't going to go away because of the kids thing, and short of whooping his ass, there is nothing you can do to stop him being a cunt. I'd say either try and tolerate it, or just say fuck it and find someone else without all the fucking drama. You don't need that shit in your life man!
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Sog
I agree with this. Even if you kick his ass, he will never be out of the picture completely because of the children.

But look on the bright side - you have no commitments with this woman. You can walk out tomorrow and never look back and there would be no issue (legally at least). It's time to sit down and think it though. Is it really worth it? How long are you going to allow her and her baggage to put you through this?
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Why the fuck does this guy have her kids? O.o what's wrong with ur gf that she can't even have her own kids...
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Sog
I read "has kids with him" as meaning that there are children and he was the father, not that the kids actually live with him.
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She should do the move And stop him. Talk to her. Tell her the long term consequences!
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Thanks folks, some good stuff. I have said to her that she isn't going to be alone with him again, full stop. I've sent him a text telling him to back off. I'm going to see how it goes and if there is a single fuck up from now on, i'm gone.
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They share custody. As far as i know he's never done anything bad to the kids, he reserves the bad stuff for my lovely lady. I saw an old mate last night who said 'You've given him enough chances - its time to slam his head against the wall and let him know the rules'.
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Just don't do anything illegal dude
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GeneralFelix
I would beat the living daylight out of him if I were you. Sounds like he's asking for it.
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If I were you I'd take a stand! She obviously doesn't know what to do, she wants to keep the relationship with him civil, so her kids can see their father. YOU on the other hand, have every right to rough up a guy who's making moves on your girlfriend. I'd give him one of those menacing warning things when you're alone. I'd push him violently against the wall, get in his face and say something like "You lost your chance, stop hitting on MY woman, or you'll be dealing with me." If he flirted with her or made a move on her in front of me, I might actually give him a good punch to the face lol He obviously doens't know his boundaries, and you're probably the perfect person to teach them to him lol
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