So here's the deal, I,ve been with my bf for about 2 & a half years now and I love him so so much! But every time he talks to a girl I feel insecure and I get really anxious! And every time it happens I can't sleep and I start over thinking things - so anw there's this girl he s talkin to now, a realllly old friend from abroad and I'm kinda bugged which I know is absolutely stupid! Cos apparently they were only friends - but very time I read their mail ( he doesn't know I have his code - I think he forgot) anw every time I read their mugs I just feel insecure and anxious ! And I feel that I've become sorta obsessed over this guy ! And I need help, can someone Paz advise me:) thank you so much in advance x
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You've been so worried about him betraying you, that you have gone ahead and justified betraying him.
Live and learn. He will.
You should be able to trust the person you're in a relationship with. If you don't think you can trust him, then I'm sorry to say your relationship isn't working out.
2. Guys can have female friends, and I'm pretty sure you would hate it if he gave you trouble over your friends.
3. TALK to him. Explain your fears, let him tell you they are unfounded then move on... Try to have some parts of your life that ate apart from him so that you don't drive him crazy and smother him.
Example. My partner has mainly female friends, oddly I have mostly male. But we trust each other. Also, we both have our own interests to focus on so that we don't smother each other.
Good luck
Basically, the way you are acting, you are showing him that he may as well cheat as your not worth it.
So pull your head in, so to speak
However, just know that it is not a reflection of you not fulfilling his needs nor a determination of your inadequacy. He wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t want to be - you have to trust that. Furthermore, if you don’t feel fulfilled don’t be scared to recognize that.
Men are not objects like books or cups. You cannot just pick one up and stuff him in your pocket and walk off.
Meaning... you CANNOT steal a man against his will. You CANNOT make him cheat unless he WANTS to cheat.
However YOU ARE WRONG TO SNOOP.
If you snoop and dislike what you see you only have yourself to blame.
He has the right to privacy. Claiming your "insecurity" as your motive ... just means you're trying to justify actions you know are wrong. Don't lie to yourself like that.
Show him some respect.
Because what I said was true... he can't be stolen against his will. But treating him without respect and snooping in his personal mail CAN give him the motivation to leave you.
Lol your gonna laugh T this but most of my friends are guys! That's the stupid part , I dunoe I guess I'm not reallly used to him talking to girls much so whenever he attempts to I get insecure - butive spoken to him andi told him to make more girl friends u know..but he has to have a limit and know where they stand .. I mean there IS a limit to everything and yeah - but anyway I guess everything's better now and I don't snoop around his mail anymore I gave it a good thought and yeah..and mines jealous too lol! He 's reallly well not REALLY jealous but he's actually more insecure than I am , I was never really an insecure person tbh :) after being with him for 3 years I guess I turned out to be like him lol.. But if he does talk to girls and stuff I guess I'll be cool with it after a while cos eventually they know who they love and where they belong and if he cheats then fine , his loss! I'll dump HIS ass lol - but thanks for ur advise:) x
Look into your relationship and see how well you are doing. If there's too much tension between you, or if you cant trust him, you may have to end it.
And also, Snooping through your boyfriends personal stuff like that is a violation of trust, and If my girlfriend did that, id take it the same as cheating.
talk to him about how you feel. then listen to how he feels about it. it will be hard, but necessary. hopefully it will give you the chance to see where your at, and maybe, a chance to rectify problems, regain your confidence in your boyfriend, and restore your relationship.