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Is it normal that I have depression and don't do anything to fix it?
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I have genetically passed down severe depression and anxiety. Although, I am a generally upbeat and happy person on the outside. I have a few friends and a great family. No serious health risks or illnesses. I should be extremely grateful to have the life I have, but at the end of the day I feel a huge dark cloud come over me. I can sink into a deep deep sadness and over think everything that went wrong throughout the day. I also have add. This makes it hard to plan my day or even have any kind of routine. I wish I had the motivation to exercise and eat right but I just don't see the point. I read that is supposed to help with my problems but I just can't get out and do it. Instead I sit in my apartment and stress out over stupid stuff. I just need to find the motivation, however, life seems so up and down for me that it doesn't seem worth it to even try. I truly care for other people but when it comes to myself i couldnt care any less. I know I sound pathetic to you and I'm sorry. I just need any kind of advice to be able to get out of my head. So in conclusion, is it normal to be so depressed but not be able to get off my ass and do anything about it? Any help would be truly heard. Please don't be mean, I am a very sensitive person.
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Comments (11)
It's easy to overwhelm yourself with thoughts of everything you need to do to improve your mental health and general well-being. I've found that accomplishing small goals helps manage this, anything that is totally doable but you've just been putting off because of lack of motivation until it starts to feel like a big thing. It's ok to take baby steps. It might not feel like you've done much at first, but if you keep on keeping on, in a couple months you will look back and see that you are capable of accomplishing these things. You will likely still have days (or a week or two) where you fall back into the bad habits, but that is okay because these things take time, just keep your goals in mind and remind yourself that if you didn't eat that salad or take a walk today, tomorrow is a completely new opportunity to do so and just keep pushing yourself until you do what you need to do (but don't dwell on what you haven't done, that can be toxic). Failure is not the problem; giving up is.
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Wow thank you! You pretty much nailed it.
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I suffer from depression and anxiety. I have OCD which manifests in obsessive thoughts. Mostly about reality, or, what people think of me, if my friends really care about me, etc. It's a lot to handle sometimes. My worst days are behind me I hope but it's still a struggle to move forward. It's a balancing act. And while I'm on this beam, I'm trying to juggle, juggle my happiness, and I know I will drop it. If you try to juggle, you will suck at first, but you can only learn from there.
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Great reply. Thank you so much. I'm only 23 and have been dealing with this since I can remember. Relating it to a task such as juggling really helps put it in perspective. I'm a work in progress. Practice makes perfect so they say.
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No kidding. I'm 23 too.
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Very normal. Many people with depression can't find the motivation to do anything about it.
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I feel you on that one.
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Of course that's normal if you're depressed, it's part of the depression. You don't say if you're on anti-depressants: personally I don't recommend them, I've never had one which didn't make me even more lethargic and apathetic.

Those dark thoughts at the end of the day CAN BE CHANGED: you already have a good list there of what's good in your life, write it up as a big sign, keep a smaller one near you and when the dark thoughts come repeat all the good ones out loud and drown out that evil invading devil of depression.

I often do the "gratitude game" last thing at night in bed: out loud I say thank you for all the good things in my life: that I have a roof over my head; clean water; nourishing food; no-one is shooting at me or blowing anything up in my neighbourhood; my dog; nature ......

Not saying it's easy: some days I wake up wishing I'd had a second heart attack in my sleep because the day ahead seems pointless. I have a list in my head of small positive things to do when I feel like that: walk the dog near the river; eat well; do my stretching exercises; meditate; stay away from negative people and seek out positive ones; achieve small, even tiny goals and celebrate them. Some days for me it's as ordinary as having a shower & getting dressed & eating well, whatever I can manage I congratulate myself and build on it.

It's a hard battle but IT IS WORTH IT: what's the alternative, a wasted life?

You're 23: I so wish I was that age again and hadn't wasted so many years in depression and anxiety before I learned how to get through the bad times and enjoy life again.

I hope some of that helps and I wish you well: depression sucks but IT IS MANAGEABLE and you CAN change your life - get to it my friend, don't waste it!
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@: Ellenna
Thank you so much. That's an incredible response. I am not on any medication. Used to take prozac but it just made me really dramatic. At least now that I don't take anything, I learned to keep things inside better. I don't have dramatic breakdowns as much however I am more internally sad. When you said...."Some days for me it's as ordinary as having a shower & getting dressed & eating well," that is so me. Those things are daily struggles. I used to dress up all the time and spend an hour on my hair and makeup but now I can barely shower without thinking what's the point. I'm not living in plaid pj pants and ordering takeout daily depressed but that's how I feel on the inside.
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You can change this, you know! Not saying it's easy, but it's almost like breaking a habit or an addiction, you do it one day at a time or on bad days, one minute at a time. The alternative is to live the rest of your life depressed, and you definitely deserve MUCH better than that!

Do you have access to good counselling? If not, could you at least google Cognitive Behavior Therapy and see what you find on the internet? There are also books available, sorry I can't remember the titles right now. Mindfulness meditation is good too, but when depressed is sometimes to begin on your own.

My personal favourite book which I've recommended many times is "Man's Search for Meaning" (forgive his sexism, it was written a while ago so I forgive him) by Viktor Frankl: he was a shrink who survived a concentration camp but lost his whole family in the Holocaust, but was still able to come up with the concept that we all have one freedom no-one can take away from us, the freedom to choose how to respond to our circumstances. That's got me and many others through some hard times, so it could help you too: I've stopped loaning mine because I've had to keep replacing it, friends keep it!

I think you're right about the anti-depressants, I've never found them any help, in fact quite the contrary.

Take care and stay in touch, eh? Love your name by the way
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Steve2.0
Well, depression often saps any motivation to do things, so not doing anything to fix it is pretty common.
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