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Is it normal that I have feelings for my gay best friend?
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3 Comments

I met my best friend a year ago. He struck me to be funny, charming, sweet, and extremely handsome. We have pretty much everything in common; and I mean everything. He couldn't be more perfect for me, except for the fact that he is gay. A month before he told me he was gay he told my sister that he really liked me and wanted to ask me out but was to nervous too. He would say to her how much he liked me and how perfect we were for each other. Finally one day he messages me saying that there is something that he wants to tell me, I thought that he was going to tell me his true feelings for me but instead told me he was gay. I was supportive yet upset with the news, I had a hard time holding it together. I felt like an idiot, I fell for a gay guy. Four months have past since he told me, he has a boyfriend now and yet I still have feelings for him. Is this normal?
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (3)
Murasaki (29687)
2009-11-05 03:24:07
Firstly, yes you are perfectly normal! Believe me, guys like lesbians. A LOT. So for a girl to like a gay guy, it's not uncommon. They're still guys and you had a connection and friendship with him. To me it sounds like he was only going through a period of finding out his true sexuality when he told your sister he liked you - he is almost certainly gay and you shouldn't hold any hope for a relationship outside of a platonic one with him.

However, it's perfectly all right to have a bit of a crush on him, but don't get hung up on "what could have been" or you'll only drive yourself insane and eventually drive him away. If you need to talk to someone about it, try a friend or family member, but don't burden him with it - he may feel like he let you down and cause him to attempt to try a relationship with you, confusing his sexuality even more.

Getting a boyfriend can't hurt, but whether it's a guy turning out to be gay, or someone you can't have because he's married or dating, you're always going to have people throughout your life which you can't have - you'll learn to deal with it as you grow older.
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callo (3023)
2009-11-06 04:34:21
grab him on the rebound. make him bi. take control
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Ollieo (19003)
2009-11-06 05:31:35
I agree with the above. You could have a great friend for life and that may be a whole lot better than a boyfriend for now.

I don't think he would mind if you shared your feelings - he would probably be flattered, and acknowledge the spark between you, despite being gay. You could even joke that if he ever switches teams, you want to be the 1st to know.

He wants to be your friend and I think its fine to talk but that the above commenter says don't over do it. Be a friend & honest, and ask for his help to move on. I think he will be good to you and for you. But, of course, he can never be your lover romantically.
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