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Is it normal that I have urges to kill?
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I have urges and desires to kill someone. I want to kill my whole family (Mom, dad, sisters). I usually fake emotions. I want to see the depression and sadness on my other family members face when they are at funerals. I remember in grade 4 was when I first got the idea. I thought of bringing a hatchet to school and slicing everyone up. In the start grade 5 it got worse, I started thinking about killing people more and thinking why it would be a bad thing. In grade 6 is when it really got bad. I didn't see a problem in killing. (I still don't). I always cry when my mom and dad yell at me. My second oldest sister and I have a very fighting problem, we will fight constantly, I have scars from her scratches and she has scars from me biting her. I don't know if this are some of the reasons why I feel urges to kill but I did get abused as a child, I hear my friends and other people in class whispering when nobody around, I bite the skin around my nails until I bleed, I also have urges to cut open animals. But i'm scared to say to my parents that I have issues, and I don't want to get help although I have always wanted to have a therapist. I always want to hurt people but I always hate it when people get mad/disappointed with me. I also have a crush on a guy, but he has a girlfriend that disrespects him, I have been friends with that girl for longer than I can remember and yet I still want to kill her in the most cruelest way possible.

I need help, but I want to stay anonymous. Does anyone know a online therapist that lets me stay unknown?
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Comments (9)
Once upon a time there was a great evil. They were heading to earth in a spaceship to take over. There was one thing they hated about earth more than anything else they hated about earth. It was that they peed. The evil was called the Peeless because they did not pee ever in their life. At the end of their life they would pee when they died just one pee for all of their life. That is why they hated pee and why they were evil too.
It was luck because there was another alien going to earth. They were called Kira. Kira was a girl and she looked very very good. She had long straight hair it was golden yellow and shined in the sun. Her eyes were green like a nice grass lawn. She was not a Peeless because on her planet they did pee. They peed more than on earth because they did not have poop only pee. Kira was lovely and she was good. She wanted to stop the Peeless from being evil on earth because her people loved pee and the Peeless were evil to people who peed!!!! She was behind the evil so the evil got there first.
They went down to earth. People were wondering WHAT IS WRONG??? The Peeless laughed. They came down with evil masks on their evil faces. They shot guns at people. They blew up bathrooms with their spaceships!!! It was a deadly attack.
At Barstow High School they didn't know about the attack yet. They were just going to school and studying. Like Martin Free he was studying things. Then there were ALARMS even at the high school!!!! Martin and everyone else did not know what was wrong. The principal came on the speakers to talk to them. "HELLO there are aliens attacking!!!" he says.
"OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!" everyone yells.
"We don't know what will happen to earth maybe we will all die!!! So there is no more school it is stupid to have school when we all might die." the principal says.
Lots of girls cry. Martin looks confused. "Why would they attack earth when earth can't attack anything??" he says. No one says anything to him they just scream and run away home. Martin decides to go home too. He walks home and then he sees something in the desert. "Wow what is that?" he says. It sparkles and there is fire. Martin goes to see what it is.
There is a spaceship crashed and there is a beautiful girl near the fire. The girl is Kira. She coughs. "Please help me!!!!!" she says.
"OK!!!!" Martin says. He will always help a pretty girl. He carrys her away in his arms. He is strong. He carrys her all the way to his house. No one is at his house because no one has been at his house since his sister moved far away. Martin is the youngest in his family. He has two older sisters one older brother and they all moved away when they got old. So Martin puts Kira on the bed in his oldest sister's old room a guest room now and gets a blanket and some water. He leaves her and then turns on the TV to see aliens.
There are aliens with evil masks. They blow things up and explode things. Then there are people that look a lot like the girl he saved. They have gold hair like her. "STOP ATTACKING THE PLANET!!!!" they say.
"Ha ha we will keep attacking forever until there is no more pee anywhere in the universe." the evil says. They attacking the gold haired people and the gold haired people die.
"That is so bad!" Martin says.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Martin hears screaming. It is the girl he saved.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
"My people they are dead now. Who know they would be defeated so quickly. The power of the Peeless has grown."
"The Peeless what is that?"
"They are a group of evil aliens. They live with no pee until they die. They want to destroy all pee people in the universe. They are going to destroy your planet now because your people pee!!!!"
"WHAT???? That is so evil!!!" Martin crys.
"My people have chased the Peeless throughout the universe. At first we could stop them easy. But they have created new weapons that drain the life from all pee organisms. We are pure pee organisms so they killed us very easy!!!!!!" Kira crys a lot.
"It's OK. Don't worry."
"Well what happens is we had to make new weapons too. We created the Power Rangers Pee Force. We thought it could beat them for sure. But they still were defeated. My three older brothers were in Power Rangers Pee Force!!! They were defeated by the Peeless so badly they died. I was so sad." Kira crys a lot.
"So there is no way to defeat the Peeless????"
"No. There is. There was something that happened on that planet. The people were not pure people of pee like us but they still had some pee and the powers the go with it. One of then took a Pee Force changer. They transformed into a Pee Force Power Ranger and FOUGHT very hard to defeat the Peeless. The Peeless were so scared that they retreated and the planet was saved!!!"
"Just from one Pee Force Power Ranger???" Martin asks.
"Yes but if the Peeless hadn't run away he would have won probably. And now I bet they have more weapons to use against the Pee Force. I need five brave friends of pee. Tell me, are there friends of pee on this planet???"
"Well..........................................." Martin says. He tells Kira all about how he always loved Pee. Pee was his friend and always made him laugh. But everyone else made fun of him because he liked pee. They called him pee boy and king of pee. He made pee jokes and they would not be his friends anymore. He still liked pee but it made him so sad. Everyone else in his family hate pee but not Martin. Poor Martin he cried a lot but he still liked pee.
"Martin I have never seen someone from another planet so loyal to pee as you!!! For your loyalty I will make you the Yellow Pee Force Power Ranger. The Yellow Ranger is the most powerful and the leader of the group. You can feel the secret power in pee even if you don't know what it is yet. Because of that and you are brave and you are nice to save me you will be one of the greatest Power Rangers ever."
"Wow!!! Thank you so much!!! But who else will be in the team?? I don't have any friends to
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Watch the TV show Dexter and start rounding up the scum in our society, that way you can do what you want while still contributing in a positive way. Hope you can get rid of the child molesters and rapists.
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Go chop up your local rapists and child predators.

But keep animals out of it. Don't be a cockshit who cuts up dogs and cats, they don't deserve that. Stick to fuckin' with humans. Animals are pure.

Also, I, a medically diagnosed schizo, knows you ain't hearing shit.
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Too many words. Just do it.
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If this is true: GET HELP. This is NOT normal and you need to go to the psych ward. I know you might be worried about it, but this isn't okay and you might become a threat to people/animals (by the way what the fuck did animals do to you) around you. Please don't act on this impulse. Do something about it. Maybe you should see a psychologist. They won't chain you up or arrest you. They can help you if you allow them to.
If this is false: Please find something better to do with your life. It's short. Especially if all you do is sit on a computer writing creepy stories and looking at anime girl's boobs.
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Burn the mother fuckers to the ground!
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TLDR grow up.
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Kill me first
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To answer your last question, YES! There are websites that offer anonymous online therapy. Some are totally free, some offer some free services but charge for a fully licensed therapist. 7cups, blahtherapy, talkspace, just search on your preferred search engine.

There are also phone numbers you can call to talk to somebody anonymously. It depends on where you live, of course, but again look for them online.

It's good that you're willing to seek out help. I really hope you'll pursue that.
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