I was raised in a religious household, to immigrant parents, and I strayed from my religion (had sex with 2 guys, decided I was atheist for awhile) And now I'm just confused. I have read all kinds of scripture from Judaism, Christianity, and Islam (the Abrahamic faiths)and it all seems to point to hell, and even when it says God forgives, it seems like its arbitrarily up to him. I always feel guilty but in my gut I don't believe. Actually, at times I don't know if I do believe but its just more comforting to believe death is just sleeping forever. Man, I realize this is a complicated question.
Basically, I feel guilt, religious confusion, and panic about what happens after I die. Is this normal?
Basically, I feel guilt, religious confusion, and panic about what happens after I die. Is this normal?

Just a pointer: I bet somewhere inside you MUST believe there is something greater or you wouldn't be in so much fear.
It's easy to make not understanding God a premise for not believing. A sincere prayer means much more than empty words: "God, I don't know if I believe in you or not. Maybe I'm talking to nothing. But I want to want to believe" That type of sincerity will give you more than all of the religious dogma and trying to figure it all out. It's okay to be confused.p