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Is it normal that I think my bosses are out to get me?
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I've been feeling like my bosses are talking bad about me. I'll hear them say my name or say something and think it's about me. I feel like they hate me and make me do things because they want me to suffer. I know they probably aren't and I can usually rationalize it but lately it's gotten worse. Numerous times I've felt like running out the door and never coming back. Not neccessarily because of my bosses but because of the anxiety I feel when I'm around people.

I have to do backup at the registers, and lately I've avoided going up there when they needed backup because I almost have a panic attack. I get anxious around everyone I come into contact with. I would compare my behavior to Pac-man. Every time I run into a customer I panic, say a quiet "How are you?" and rush off. I've even been unable to speak at all, which got me in trouble a few times.

I don't know if this is relevant or not, but I've also been hearing people call my name. I heard a man call my name in the afternoon when I slept in (I couldn't get up :(..) it startled me and I looked behind me and said, "What?" thinking it was my boyfriend but no one was there. Once in a while I'll here it at work or if I'm alone.
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Comments (5)
If you're hearing voices, then you need to consult a doctor. That isn't normal at all.
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in bustling places with lots of sounds, it's kind of normal to think people say your name. happened to me several times a day working in restaurants. if you perform all your other job functions well, then i would talk to the manager that i like best and tell him you haven't been working backup because you've had trouble with anxiety lately, and you were scared to talk to him about it, or just uncomfortable, you don't have to say you were scared. maybe you could do extra little things around there or specifically to help out the managers. they love that shit. i'm sure there's some task people don't like to do that wouldn't cause too much anxiety. if they see your making an effort and just have trouble in that one area sometimes, i think you'll be fine and they should work with you, unless they're dicks.
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p.s. you fuckers want everyone to be schizoid so badly, don't ya? leave the poor lady alone. psychiatrists telling you you're fucked and throwing zombie drugs at a person usually doesn't help them and is only necessary in extreme cases. that's enough to make a person suicidal that wasn't before, in my opinion.
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Sounds to me like you have a low opinion about yourself and a very negative paranoid mindset to back it up. I know this because a psychiatrist I buried alive once told me this about myself. I kid, it was a psychology major who moonlighted as a hooker. Seriously Ive thought the same shit starting new jobs that I actually did walk out and not go back many atimes. Its just a ceaseless thought in the back of my head that what I do is never good enough and that no one likes me. No mater the evidence to contradict the situation my mind is making up, those two things are like stated laws that my reality constantly builds by. Just try not to over think things and think more positive obviously.
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The first two paragraphs just sound like you're very nervous at your job, and have high anxiety in dealing with people.
The last paragraph where you describe hearing voices is more worrying. I'm no expert but that sounds like the beggining of schizophrenia, where the hallucinations are in the form of hearing voices that aren't there.
The one while you were sleeping could've just been a waking dream moment. But the ones at work sound more troubling.
This is a worst case (online from someone who isn't trained medically at all) diagnosis, so please don't get alarmed by it.
If it gets any worse I'd think about seeing a doctor.
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