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Is it normal that i wish my teacher loved me like a daughter
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13 Comments

Well, it's like this. For awhile now, me and this teacher have become close. She's always there when i need her, can talk to her about anything, really like her as a person and just generally look up to her. However it's becoming strange, sometimes i stay behind just to speak to her, catch a quick conversation. Also i may feel secure or comforted when i see her around school. I just generally love her, and hate to be away from her. Only it's not that i'm in love with her, it's just i want her to love me as a daughter. I'm not insane and i know she has her own children and it's an inappropriate thing to think, i just can't help it. She has always been there through my darkest days, i can't even begin to explain what she has done for me over the years. It just seems whatever time with her i get, or whatever attention i get just isn't enough, isn't ever enough. This leaves me feeling hollow and empty. I'm really not looking for anyone to leave any nasty comments, really just want someone to relate to, who feels the same? Please leave your mail if you do.
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (13)
tygeronherbed (31297)
12/15/09
That sounds really hard, it sounds like you are missing something in your life, do you have a strong mother figure at home? its ok to have a genuine respect and even love for teachers who help you through hard times and who you feel like you can relate to, but they can't, and should not be expected to take on parental roles.
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MisguidedApril (32869)
12/15/09
I think it's not abnormal. I've been in a similar situation, it just means you're looking for an older role model, and you see a parental figure in your teacher, especially if she has been there for you so much.
For me it was my youth leader. There where times I wanted to run and hug him (quite childishly) because he was such a father figure to me, but I often felt like it was inappropriate. In the end I thought for a while, then approached him and told him exactly what was going through my mind. After that it felt different. He accepted me as more than just one of the kids. Telling him what I was thinking, and knowing he accepted it, made me less desperate for his attention.
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tangledtash (32458)
12/23/09
Yeah, it is hard. Oh, i totally understand that they shouldn't be expected to take on parental roles. However she actually does do her best, she knows everything about me. I don't have a good relasionship with my mother at all, well i don't have anything with her really. She's mean, spiteful and down right annoying, i don't wish to either. :(
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Ollieo (19003)
12/23/09
I think you are lucky to have such a special and nurturing relationship with your teacher. And it is obvious what that has meant to you.

But I do agree with the above comment in that you must regard her as your teacher - albeit one for whom you have great admiration.

I am sure you could talk with her about your feelings.

And do you think the reason you can't get enough of her & feel empty might be that you are expecting a bit too much? I do. If you agree maybe you can tone it down a bit & just enjoy what you have with her more.
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tangledtash (32458)
12/24/09
I already have talked to to her about my feelings, i've talked to her about everything over the past three years. We meet up in the term break (it's all cleared with the school and my mum) just so she can check how i'm doing, that's off her own back- i don't ask, although i am glad. She's already said she'd be really upset if we didn't keep in touch when i left school, so we've decided we're going to. I think we both realise it's not really a pupil-teacher relasionship we have. Well, that as well. She is very professional though, she was my teacher a few years ago, for awhile now, she's been my form tutor.
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Foxy101 (36050)
2/16/10
@: tangledtash
I feel exactly the same. I haven't told anyone about how I want my fav teacher to treat me like her daughter. If you want you can email me, and we can talk about it properly. It's good that you get to see her outside of school, I would give anything for that to happen to me.
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CynicalParadox (37950)
3/3/10
i see nothing wrong with it however a teacher might be a little bit difficult to maintain especially if they have they're own children. The biggest problem in my mind is that is the problem of finding some one else that suffices. from your description i's say you have a past with this person so it would be extremely dificult to find some one else. just by the way i don't really have insight into this thing as im only 13 but whatevas
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charmedluv44 (38571)
3/12/10
@: Foxy101
you guys remind me soo much of myself and i have no one to tell about it . like my fave teacher has no kids and she always tells me im her favorite and we talk outside of school , but i dont want to come out and say i wish you were my mom because it feels like i would be obsessed with her , but shes like the most amazing person in the world and i loveeee her sooo much because i dont have that type of relationship with my mom and she knows about by my mom and that means that much more to me that shes there for me <3 and i havent seen her in a year so it makes it all the more sad
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Tlou (40239)
4/4/10
@: tangledtash
Hi, I just wanted to say that i really understand what you are saying, I am leaving school soon and i have a great Teacher that i get on with, she is lovely and i absolutly love her, in the proper, friendly way. I am going to make sure that i can keep in contact with her when i leave school as i would be really sad if i didnt. Could i just ask... How did you arrange it with the school so that you can meet up with her during holidays and kepp incontact etc? As this is what i'd love to do too.
Thankyou.
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darmin (43778)
5/9/10
Im sry u feel lonely. Do ur parents help u?
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:)xxx (38128)
5/10/10
well i have being go threw this kinda except i believed she was my mum untill she well found out and told me that it was so not real cos if it was she would have had me when she was 1. well it only happened today and i feel lonely again and miss the feeling i had keep the bond you have cos if you dont you will realy miss it
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:)xxx (38128)
5/10/10
@: :)xxx
*12 years old
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bronte_91 (38682)
7/11/10
I know how you feel. I graduated high school two years ago and I have kept in touch with this one teacher because she has been such an important part of my life. I still see her from time to time for coffee and whatever. I also wish she was my mum. It's weird because there is nothing wrong with the family I have, I just want a reason to be closer with this teacher.
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