Its been almost a year since i had sex with my boyfriend. We used to have sex all the time in the beginning of our relationship, now it seems like our sex life went down the drain, at least for me. He begs me to do it with him or give him something on the side (bj's) but i'm just never in the mood with him anymore. He tries his heart out to try to get me in to have sex but i just can't. I'm not seeing anyone else nor have i have plans to do so. I love him very much and i never cheated on him. Anyone know why?
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While there is a chemical outburst in the beginning of the relationship that makes you behave like rabbits, which eventually ebbs away, you should still have a regular sex drive.
It seems your libido has been put into a casket and thrown into a hole in the cellar.
I assume you also never masturbate?(that is, you are not in the mood at all, and not just not in the mood with him?)
You should go and see your doctor about this. While a low libido may be normal, the total absence of any kind of libido is kind of unnormal for young females-
As for your boyfriend, unlike us, they have physical needs. That is, that stuff NEEDS to get out, one way or the other. If no sex or masturbation, nightly discharge. Their hormon levels increase and make them do pretty stupid stuff to get that release.
If you REALLY love him, you should go and buy some lube. So yeah, you are not really in the mood. Who cares? I'm also not in the mood to go to work on monday morning. Still do it. It may feel a bit weird and inconvenient to let him fuck you when you are not in the mood, but it will make him so incredibly happy. And if you really love him, you will want to make him happy, see it as a regular gift only YOU can give to him. Whats 15 minutes of being a bit uncomfortable to the happyness of a person? Heck, maybe you even learn to put on a bit of a show *shrug* Make him feel he did a great job there, giving you 2 orgasms in a row.(i am usually not advocating faking it, but if you just lay there like a log of wood and let him "do his business" only more problems will arise)
And to be honest: There's a good chance he will eventually look elsewhere if you deny yourself to him.
This absence of a libido thing happened with my ex. Ruined the relationship too. We had both been under some strain in the relationship but this certainly didn't help.
Make SURE he feels loved. Even if it's not through sex. Just make sure you show him you care and aren't losing interest in him emotionally.
Another trick i use to get myself in the mood when im anticipating having sex is that i read literotica or watch some porn. That way im turned on by the time i see him ad he doesnt have to try too hard to get me on the mood, just how he likes it. Men can see a half naked body an get turned on, but for girls it takes much, much more than that.
Unless of course if you just dont think hes good in bed, thats a whole different problem.
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I suggest you do something to boost your sexual appetite soon or he will likely leave you or cheat.
i don't believe someone is obliged to put out but... if you're taking from him and not giving anything back ... maybe it's time you let him go so he can be with someone who WILL love him completely
if you need to leave to answer the phone, just say "down boy, down" then come back later.
whats the big deal
If your BF wants sex and you don't want it, then just tell him no. If he throws a fit, come up with a aggrement. Sex only works if two partners want it.
You may love him and if this is true you should respect his natural urges to have sex with you. Go to the chemist and get some lube, if you want go to the doctors and try some alternatives eg. horny goat weed. (this does not invove goats, sorry)
Or you could have some repressed psychological issues which turn you off from your boyfriend.
Sex is only fair if both partners want it.