I know this sounds weird but honestly after I admitted to myself, and everyone else, that I like guys I just don't know what to label myself. I know most of you are going to be like you don't need a label blah blah blah but i do. So, here's a little background info first. Well, every since I was little I was more feminine then other boys. I slightly blame my mom. She would tell me that normal boys things were wrong such as violence or certain "boy shows" like power rangers because they encouraged things such as violence. I have a fond memory of asking her what to draw and she would say rainbows and hearts. She also loved watching the girlier disney princess movies with me. And as a child I didn't know any better. My dad on the other hand was never into sports so I was never taken to a baseball game or played catch with, ya know, the guy things. I grew up closer to my mom only because my dad was just the money maker to me, always working. This kind of made me appreciate my mom more and in a way appreciate women more. Almost to the point where I have put them on a high pedestal. When I would have crushes on girls I was always be hesitant to make a move because I felt intimated. Almost like I wasn't man enough for a women. This lead me to stay single most of my high school life. My junior year I finally got a girlfriend. Not to belittle her or anything, but to be honest she was the town slut. I looked past that and dated her anyways mostly because she made the first moves and i really liked that. We on and off dated for alittle over a year and she took my virginity. The sex was great and I can't deny that she made me horny. I soon after broke up with her. The reason behind this was that in the back of my head I was contemplating my sexuality. I always found guys nice to look at but it wasn't until i met this one girl that i was opened to talking about it. She moved to Illinois from taxes and we almost instantly became friends after that. I confided in her and told her my secret which must have been slightly obvious because she's the one that brought it up. I remember her asking me if I would ever kiss a boy and I said no the thought of that repulses me but i like looking at the guy while watching straight porn. this was two years ago and now ive admitted that i like guys. ive even gone to 3rd base with one. I was definitely sexually aroused but while it was happening i felt as if it was just a buddy experimenting not like actual sex. I came to the conclusion that I have stronger emotional connections with girls and a stronger sexual connection with guys. Heck, i cant even get a boner from a girl unless im physically about to have sex with her or have been dating her for a while. Now im confused as to what i am. Sometimes i feel too gay to be straight and too straight to be gay. My last issue is that I don't like sports or video games or anything that guys like and i dont like fashion or gossip like girls do so i cant really bond with either.