Since probably middle school or so, I've had this fantasy about being forced to go see a psychiatrist. I'd be uncooperative and closed off for the first few sessions, but the psychiatrist would remain patient, kind, and understanding. And gradually I'd start to open up to him/her.
Sometimes I'll even briefly wish that something bad will happen to me and I'll have a reason to have to see one. (i.e. someone close to me dying, being raped, etc) Although the rational part of me does realize that any of those scenarios would be absolutely horrible and I would feel like an idiot for ever having wished, even momentarily, for it to occur.
Is this normal?
Sometimes I'll even briefly wish that something bad will happen to me and I'll have a reason to have to see one. (i.e. someone close to me dying, being raped, etc) Although the rational part of me does realize that any of those scenarios would be absolutely horrible and I would feel like an idiot for ever having wished, even momentarily, for it to occur.
Is this normal?
Maybe you need some sort of attention. Who do you want to get it from?
i think it's strange that your fantasy includes a horror that happens to someone else, death or rape, instead of you. creepy.
it does sound like you need some personal attention though.
poster - assuming you are under the age of 15 I would say this is totally normal. much older than that though and I have to agree with mtnw. as an older teen/adult it would be completely self-asbsorbed to hope something happens to someone other than yourself so that you can have therapy. although I guess it shows a high level of self-preservation...so at least you aren't suicidal. :)
2) perhaps i should have used "daydream" instead of "wish". of course i don't want someone i love to die, i just daydream about it happening sometimes and then i feel guilty for even daydreaming about it.
3) i do fantasize about my own suicide as well, but i really didn't think it was pertinent to the question so i didn't mention it
I approached them as I felt a little put down with my personality and i wish to change it.