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Is it normal that my boyfriend is mean to my son?
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I'm 24 and my man's 30. I have a son with another man, who I have no contact with and my son's never even meant. My new man and I had a baby together in August. I got pregnant the first time we had sex. I had only known him for 4 months. He was great to my son before I got pregnant and during the pregnancy. Now that our daughters born, he's mean to him. He says it has nothing to do with him having his own child now. He says my son-who just turned 2-doesn't listen and makes messes. (well..he is 2..) My son loves his baby sister very much and loves to touch her nose and rub her head and kiss her..sometimes a little rough but she doesn' cry or seem to mind the roughness to much.. but my boyfriend gets mad. He in turns does to my son what my son was doing to the baby (poking nose, rubbing head) only he does WAY to roughly. And he doesn't understand why any of this behavior bothers me. He feels I "baby" my son. He calls him a sissy, a crybaby, a moma's boy, "just jokingly" kicks him out of his house. I understand his fustrations with the messes and spirited behavior but I don't think he handles it in a mature or helpful way.
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Comments (20)
never leave him alone with the boy be open about the reason . and what mando said
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@: devilla
I also agree with devilla's post--good advice.
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Agreed with mando, this man isn't a man. If you are babying your son it's because he is a BABY. A baby that this grown man is picking on. I think you already know this isn't right.
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Valkeer
Somewhat normal but unacceptable. Drop his ass.
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You put two children into this world. Therefore it is YOUR responsibility to ensure they are treated fairly and not picket on by anyone. I second what Mando and littlelulu99 already said. A so-called "adult" like your boyfriend should not be picking on a toddler. If this continues your son may very well develop psychological problems. I'm sure you don't want that.
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If my 'man' treated my son like that, I would kick 'my man's ass, right out the door. Period. Suck it up and be a mom.
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Babys can be very annoying but its not their fault...
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Your number one responsibiliy in the world is the safety and care for your children.
That said it seems your man needs to grow up and he needs to get some help on raising kids. Because if he acts like a kid he cannot raise one.
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Thanks for all the thoughts guys.. I never will I ever leave my son (or even our daughter) alone with him. And I do confront him 98% of the time he picks on my son.. thats the cause of more then 1/2 our fights.. its almost like he just wants me to say "oh..i have a better child now, and this childs fathers isnt here so let me just give my son away" I know it isn't healthy..didn't know if it was normal..
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Personally, I think you are a fucking disgrace!!

NEVER EVER PUT A MAN BEFORE YOUR OWN CHILD!

Kick this w@nker out before he destroys your little child's happiness and self-esteem. Your son will grow up to hate you if you don't!

Even natural fathers compete with their first born sons but this b@stard has no right to put his hands on this child as he doesn't belong to him. He should not be involved in disciplining him and I can only pray to God that you don't live with this @sshole.

How stupid are you really?

Either get this b@stard out of your son's life or get your son out of yours. You are NEVER going to change the bully but at least your child is young enough to still have the chance to turn out a decent human being - which he won't be once the douche bag teaches him how to behave 'like a man'.

They say women would fight tigers for their kids and what do you do? Come on this fukin site to find out if you're normal - NO YOU ARE NOT!!

For fuk sake grow up and protect your kids before he hurts them both!
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whoa whoa whoa. i didn't know this would turn into me having to defend myself. I love my childeren more then anything in this universe. Every breath I take is for them, without them I would die. Don't get me wrong, there are times when my boyfriend and son play so nice and so cute. They wrestle and build blocks and play video games together (well my son holds a controller and THINKS he's playing) I honestly believe my boyfriend loves my son. I just think he A)loves his baby more and B)is jealous of my son and C)is a warped invidual. I don't want my critters to suffer for my mistakes. every situation has its pros and its cons. you don't know the full story. if either were my kids were in any danger, i'd get out that second.
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Don't lie to us!

So your son was about 8 months old when you took up with a new man! Doesn't seem you thought too much about your baby when you wanted a new man. You are very very young to be making life changing / threatening decisions!

1. Do not try to kid yourself that this man loves your child. He doesn't! Simple! A lot of natural fathers find it hard to bond with their sons. Yes he can sit and play a game, while conning a child into thinking he's playing too. Whoopy woo! Big deal! He's actually a spoilt baby who likes to play blocks / cars etc but for himself, not to enjoy your son.

2.Your son will grow to hate his little sister if he gets into trouble for touching her! That will give the douche bag even more excuse to abuse your son.

3. Remember what a newborn has been through to be born - they are tough little blighters and if they are hurting, tell that fool that the baby will cry!

4. You actually have the gall to tell us he is jealous of the child and is a warped individual - and you are still there! OMG! I wouldn't care if he was a multi-millionaire and I'd to live in a pop up tent with my kids I would NOT live with a psycho.

There's nothing we can do for you - you are obviously an idiot!!

If you only do one thing though for your son, do this.... Tell that w@nker that if he ever puts his hands on your son in a rough way again, you will phone the police and get a court order to keep him away from you all!

I was with my husband 16 years before my son was a toddler, and I told my husband exactly that when he carried my son a little too roughly (IMO) up to bed.

Otherwise post your address and we will inform CPS about the @sshole for you!

Now please go away - I can't stand stupid fukin women like you who talk a good job about how much they love their kids but actions speak louder than words, and you are messing your wee son's life up!!
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Dozis
It's normal. Most males and females have that tendency whether they know it or not. The whole 'blood is thicker than water' thing. It will eventually boil down to them becoming pals and praising your daughter for being such a cutie. Then your son will sleep with her and then he will get here and ask us if it is normal he slept with his sister. It's cool. It's all cool.
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galym
my moms boyfreind is mean to me and thinks i dont do enythingwell he is playing world of world carft all day so its normal
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galym
@: galym
he makes me do alot for him to like grabing him adriink or i half to go to the store
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@: galym
no its not normal galym....your mom's boyfriend, if he wants to be a part of your mom's life, should treat you better than that...and she should stand up for you and not allow him to treat you badly.
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this could be your future

http://isitnormal.com/story/is-my-sons-behavior-normal-96299/
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i do love my babies.
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This is a 2 year old post. But I hope to God you left this jerk. If you hadn't then shame on you. Its not normal and its not normal you stay with a man who is emotionally abusive to your child. Who the hell jokingly kicks a child out of the house. And your making excuses for him. They should haven taken your kids away from you....that is CHILD ABUSE!
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