My mother is older and not healthy and she lives in another state. She always talks about who will take care of her, bath her, so she won't have to go to a nursing home. My brother lives in the same state as her and helps her with shopping and stuff. I go to visit when I can. So anyway, the other day I was speaking with her over the phone,like I always do. And this time I just happened to ask her what her favorite soap is and she didn't like that question. I have sensitive skin like my grandma on my mothers side, so I wanted to be sure, just in case she has sensitive skin. I was just showing concern and she said; "Fuck You". Well she can go fuck herself. I'm living in constant guilt, feeling bad that I should be their as she grows old. She was not there for me when I was younger. She did not give a rats ass about sending me to college or preparing me for my future. So I chose my future on my own with no parental guidance. There are alot of times she should have been there for me, but she was not. Now that she is older, I feel guilty about not being there for her because that is all she talks about, getting older. I told her I would be there for her as she ages, although I never took care of an older adult. I don't know the first thing about caring for an aging parent and she did not prepare me for this, especially financially. But nevertheless, I do not say that to her. But when I ask her what her favorite soap is she says Fuck You. I that normal? What shoudl I do stop talking to her because frankly I am sick of her headgames and bullshit. No matter how nice I am to her it doesn't matter.
Are You Normal?
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You could maybe in this situation, ask her if she could write a list of what she need. At least it gives her some form of control over her day to day activities. Never tell her what you want her to do but offer assistance.
Some speak that way because its in their 'normal' vocabulary of everyday speech. Others just seem down right mean and selfish!