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Is it normal that the youth pastor at my church is RUDE?
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A few months ago, we got a new youth pastor at my church. I didn't seem to mind since I'm too old for youth group, but I've noticed a few things. Hes got to be the rudest person I've ever met. A few things have happened here. Now, these are simply observations, not falsely judging him.

We were helping at the fall festival, me and my family. I fell and sprained my ankle. This guy (we'll call him Sam) didn't even acknowledge it or offer to help me up. He was standing within arms reach.

Later that same day, my grandma said he yelled at her over the stupidest thing. And that's when I lost respect for him. Another lady in the church said he yelled at her kids for helping her instead of helping him.

I'll be sitting in church before it starts, and he sometimes feels the need to walk by and pat me on the shoulder as hard as he can. Honestly it hurts, it startles me and he doesn't know me well enough to be doing that. I jerked away and just kind of looked at him.

We recently did this event/play for Christmas and me and 3 other women put together the WHOLE thing. We were in there for days working on it and setting up. In a meeting before this, he was leading it and seemed to want to control EVERYTHING. However, any of the times we were working, he was nowhere to be found.
During the event, all he did was run around screaming at people. Prior to, it was his demand that EVERYONE be in some sort of biblical times costume. My grandma has health problems and told him "I don't know if I can" and he barked "oh yes you will!" We get to the event and hes wearing a black tshirt and too tight jeans. He said "I ain't wearing no costume."

Later, my grandma and some other people were serving hot chocolate in the dining room. They were talking, getting into character and actually acting out their part. He ran in there and screamed at them "HEY be quiet, there are people still here." When he was the one that told them to get into character and act out their part.
When we were taking down the props and everything, this woman yelled "I NEED MEN TO TAKE DOWN THE HEAVY STUFF!" I got extremely ticked off and proceeded to move the heavy stuff myself. It was clear he still wasn't doing anything but ordering people around. I guess he thinks he can do that since he's 7' tall. Other people were looking at me saying "Oh you want a man to lift that?" And I said "No im not feeble. Its a box of fabric for gods sake."

Any youth pastor we had prior to that NEVER acted like he does. I've even noticed the attitudes of people in my church changing. It was never sexist like it is now. Previously, they would say "anyone can help carrying these things." And people did. My sister and her friend were carrying a table to be put away and he snatched it out of their hands. It was a lightweight folding table.
Hes just so rude. Everything he says to anyone about ANYTHING comes out sounding like a smartass remark. Hes got 1 time to say anything like that to me and I'm gonna call him out. Not going to make a scene though.

Its funny because when he moved here, everyone looked at me like "OOH hes young and single like you! Jump on it!" And it irritated me. SO? How do you all know I'm not a lesbian? Besides, there are thousands of other single guys my age. Now, my grandma says "I don't wish him on you anymore."

I know this was long and ridiculous, but I'm curious, does anyone else experience this with a leader in their church? Somehow I got a feeling this happens more than I think it does. Its to the point I don't even want to go to church anymore. Should I leave?
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Comments (7)
Place a formal complaint with the senior pastor if enough people have a problem with him. One would think that the senior staff would be aware...but depending on the size of the church, that's not always the case.
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You'd be surprise how many types of jobs "rude" people can have. They're literally everywhere.

I remeber my preist from a younger age being kinda pervy no joke. But he would also act kind. So I've never experienced a preist like the one you have.
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A "youth leader" isn't a priest
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@: Ellenna
Mine has the same role, I just assumed.
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No, It's not normal...Trust your gut instinct. The guy is obviously a narcissist and lives by the Old Testament and not by Jesus standards. If it comes down to it punch him or kick him on the genitals as hard as you possibly can & When he comes down to his knees kick or punch him in the nose to stun him and then go ape shit on him if you have to.
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Your church doesn't have a minister or pastor or priest you can talk to about this?
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here2help
Is your pastor Nicolas Cage from "Face-off"? But seriously though, next time you see him say hello and go for a handshake but when he reaches for your hand undershoot and grab his balls as hard as you can. perhaps you could train for this scenario by doing forearm workouts and building up your grip strength.
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