Is it normal to be rejected by your own ethnicity in school?

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What you're facing is called "class envy".

They're excluding you because of socioeconomic status, and mixing it with racism.


It's a rather interesting subset of some cultures though, if you think about it... you're being punished for HAVING SUCCESS.

So the only way you can "fit in" is if you stop having success... ? Stop doing well?

You are being called "white" - as if it's dirty word - for doing better than them. So not only are they jealous they're mixing racism in with this too. That somehow you're not good enough for your skin color because... you're not failing?


Really... some of these subset groups have mastered the art of keeping themselves down. Sure other groups or races will be blamed for it... but when you have a subset culture that supports failing and punishes success, they're pretty much doing the bulk of the work in keeping themselves down.

That's not very nice of them, but it does sort of sound like you (yourself) have already set yourself apart from them and perhaps they are reacting to your confidence and pride. Nobody likes to hang around with a person who they think looks down their nose at them. You know what I mean?

Try showing them your playful fun side, show them you are not judging them for not being as intelligent or articulate as you. They should come around to being friendly with you if you are friendly and open with them.

Yeah, that's one way to ensure the advancement of your race in society. Reject people who speak intelligently (because only white people should be articulated) and who carry themselves with civility. Great

But now it's story time. I spent my early childhood on a military base where issues like race and the N-word didn't really surface and aside from learning about slavery in history class, as kids racism didn't really have bearing on our lives considering the majority of my school mates were asians and we were all used to that.

Then, I moved to a civillian neighborhood and the first people I saw were a group of black girls. I went to say hi and make friends and they told me that I am white therefore I am racist and my family owned slaves and white people shouldn't be friends with black people (By the way, my family didn't get here until slavery had been made illegal). I noticed that they used the N-word a lot but I didn't know what it meant ans the dictionary did not offer a definition that made sense regardin the context that it was used in

So I asked my English teacher what it meant. She was also a black woman but at the time it did not occur to me that it was socially unacceptable to ask her due to her race, she was an English teacher and I was asking her about English, right? So I explained to her that I had never heard the word before and asked her what it meant and she was not the least bit phased. She gave me the dictionary definition and I asked her... "But if that's true then why do they use it towards their friends and not get angry?

I'll never forget what she said and I didn't understand it at the time. Her answer was, "Because they are not proud of their heritage". For many years I struggled to understand the concept of racism and why race is even relevant in regards to what kind of person you are and whether or not you are to blame for your actions or the actions of people that you don't even know and I have just barely been able to wrap my mind around the rationale of the whole thing

I feel sorry for your classmates. Living with a closed mind is living a sad life.

I had the exact same issue as you when I went to school. My hair was long down my back and all real, I talked proper, I excelled in academics, and all the black girls rejected me and said the same things.
Some of those girls approached me years after we got out of school and explained to me why they acted in such a way. Their first misconception was that because I was raised in a middle-class family and made good grades that I was automatically stuck up. They figured I had a superiority complex and would look down on them. They didn't want to befriend me and invite me to hang out because they figured that their entertainment and their households were too low budget for my tastes. Assumptions that were far from the truth.
Some of the girls admitted to having envy for the things that made me different from them. It made them angry just laying eyes on me so of course they wouldn't want to accept me.
Those black girls also had a bond between them created from the similar struggles and obstacles they all faced. I couldn't relate.
I haven't quite solved this issue but what I did was stop caring about trying to fit in or gaining their acceptance. I realized that the people at school were only people at school and that I had an entire future to live. Don't stop making good grades and talking proper. Its a sad truth but what sets you apart from those black girls at school will also give u better opportunities to succeed as a black female. The other black girls are trapped in unfortunate circumstances so you are fortunate to be what you are so be grateful.

Girls at school use their words to hurt other girls.
They become an expert at basically being bitches.
Once they get older they eventually calm down and stop picking on other kids.

The only option is for you to ignore them. By showing them you are not affected by any hurtful words they say to you.

Sadly you just need to harden up a bit. And either knock one of them out! Or just walk past them without a care for their childish teeny talk. (Possibly the latter would be preferred, at least to begin with)

I also sense that you just don't like your school. Not so much the girls, just everything about it.
School is about conforming and getting you ready for being an adult one day. The 'social' lunchtimes are just as important as your A grade reports. Somehow you will need to get involved in actually playing and being a social member OUTSIDE class. Your adult teachers know the other students well, they will know how you can 'get in' to the crowd (ideally the good crowd).

Also note, you ARE different (at least in your class). And therefore most will alienate you since they don't understand you. Once you open up a little, they will see that you are just a normal teenager yourself.

If all else fails, DON'T put up with the taunts for months! Or for longer than you can bare. Harassment can wear a teenager down, seek support, or change class or school. You might like a co-ed school better anyhow :) Thinking you may be pretty and the other girls are jealous, but no guy is there to build your confidence.

Or knock them out, whichever is easier :)

While I did not go to an all girls school, I know all too well what you mean. I, myself, am a black female, and when I was in high school, I very much was not accepted by my own race. Infact, a majority of them bullied me, and I found myself more disrespected and bullied by other black females than any other race or gender. I believe the reason why this is was because I did not fit into the stereotype, and in other words I didn't "act black". On the side of that, I happen to be a light skinned, long haired black girl which immediatly stereotyped me as someone who was stuck up. Although I never felt I was better than anyone, and was much happier minding my own business, the other black girls didin't see that, and they saw everything with me as either competition or a way to humiliate me.

My advice to you is to ignore them. Ignorance is bliss, and there is nothing you can do to change their opinions of you. I say, just be yourself, and don't try to fit in with or be accepted by anyone. Love yourself for who you are. Just because you are a certain race does not mean that you have to act the stereotype of that race, and if someone can not accept that about you then they are drowning in their own foolishness.

People of all ages, races, and religions have for the most part always treat differently anyone that is different to them.

You may have heard of the "them and us mentality" or "social identity"... there are in fact many excellent works explaining this sociological phenomena...

The truth is... people do it.

The usual choices of dealing with it on a personal level are:

1. This is a good option called "suffering on up", which is a polite way of being yourself, accepting yourself, and deciding that those that don't accept or appreciate you, don't deserve your time or effort.

2. The other option is to "change oneself", it's not the recommended choice, but many people are happy to subjugate their true selves to fit in with their peers. It's sad, and very bad for you, and will never lead to true happiness in life.

THE TRUTH
1. Normal = What is PERCEIVED to be the Average/Standard. In truth there is no such thing.

2. Weird = Someone who is comfortable with being themselves in public.

May your path bring you happiness.

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| mightymouse |
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ps: If you want to read more on "Social Identity Theory":
http://www.simplypsychology.org/social-identity-theory.html

Yes, I was pretty much rejected by all of them, so I guess that would include my own ethnicity.

Bitches be bitches