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Is it normal to be sexually attracted to trees?
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My uncle had a tree in his backyard and I spent hours sitting on a branch and masturbating on it over many years when I was growing up. I knew the tree was alive so I started to masturbate on it. Then things got more sexual over the years.
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Comments (19)
MissSorel
1 year, 6 months ago | pl
Dendrophilia is what the term is. You'd be surprised that people do actually get sexually attracted to trees.
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RubyCane
1 year, 6 months ago | pl
@: MissSorel
Wow, this sh*t really exists as an actual term?! I thought he was the only whacko that could date Pinocchio! XDDD
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MissSorel
1 year, 6 months ago | pl
@: RubyCane
It does, I honestly can't remember where I came across the term for the first time but it exists! XD And if he were to date Pinocchio, it would give a whole new meaning to "getting wood" XD
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AngryDude
1 year, 6 months ago | pl
@: MissSorel
Pinocchio looks like a little boy. I might be a dendrophile but I'm not some disgusting pedophile.
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MissSorel
1 year, 6 months ago | pl
@: AngryDude
God, dude, I was making a joke, not at your expense... and he's a wooden toy, so that wouldn't even equate to pedophilia.

I wasn't saying you were a pedo, I was just making light humour. If I wanted to make fun of you or call you something, I would do it straight up, as it is, I didn't.
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AngryDude
1 year, 6 months ago | pl
@: MissSorel
I know you didn't mean anything. Neither did I. I was just saying I am not one.
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RubyCane
1 year, 6 months ago | pl
@: AngryDude
But when you dream about him you get some serious... "Morning Wood" when you wake up, right?! LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! XDDD
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flutterhigh
1 year, 6 months ago | pl
I feel like you ended your story at sort of a pivotal moment.

"I used to kill puppies, but then things got REAL fucked up. The end."
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AngAnders112
1 year, 6 months ago | pl
I think you know that having sex with trees is not normal. splinters?!
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AngryDude
1 year, 6 months ago | pl
@: AngAnders112
Some trees have maple syrup you can use as a lubricant. There are many beautiful things that can be done with a tree.
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AngAnders112
1 year, 6 months ago | pl
@: AngryDude
But i don't understand ... bark is rough and wood can splinter. Not fun.
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AngryDude
1 year, 6 months ago | pl
@: AngAnders112
Not every dendrophile sticks their penis in it and has intercourse. There are other things you can do like kiss a tree or sit on it and masturbate. Or you can get a woman to come with you and you both make love in the tree while the tree holds you with its branches, like a loving arm welcoming you.
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AngAnders112
1 year, 6 months ago | pl
@: AngryDude
ooh okay, i see. i wasn't expanding my thoughts to see all of the possibilities.

so did you really find a tree large enough to fool around *in*? and what is it about the tree that attracted you to it in the first place?
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paul45
1 year, 2 months ago | pl
And all this time I had thought I was the only one who found trees sexy. Nice to know one is not alone.
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Avant-Garde
1 year, 1 month ago | pl
Trees are beautiful creatures, but I'm not sexually attracted to them. Aren't you worried about bugs or that someone will see you?
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jondoerandom
10 months, 3 weeks ago | pl
So that's what them damn hippies are doing in the woods. I thought it's smoking dope, but they bone trees... gotta tell the cops. cheers, buddy.
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1000yrVampireKing
5 months, 1 week ago | pl
Odd.
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RubyCane
1 year, 6 months ago | pl
I got the perfect match for you, boy! The name's Mokujin and she's one super hot baby tree! You'll blow your hot jizz in no time when you stick it in her holes...

Here's a pic of her (fighting Kuma the bear, you see she's a tough tree-bitch to tame...):
http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110831173049/tekken/en/images/1/12/Mokujin_(Female)_versus_Kuma_(Tekken_5).jpg
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