Last night my husband and i were having a nice conversation then i dont know how we got onto the topic but i said that accidents dont happen, that everyone has a choice and they choose not to do things or do things which causes "accidents" and i started talking about rear end accidents. for example, if someone is tailgating or talking on their phone and they hit the car in front because they werent concentrating then that is their choice to not concentrate therefore its not an accident. he just blurted out that i am stupid and uneducated to say that.
he has never called me names before or said anything like that, he has always said how smart i am and for him to say something like that, well it really cut deep.
is the way i think normal? is what he said normal? i just dont know what to do and i cant find it within myself to forgive him even though he hasnt actually apologised for hurting me so much.
he has never called me names before or said anything like that, he has always said how smart i am and for him to say something like that, well it really cut deep.
is the way i think normal? is what he said normal? i just dont know what to do and i cant find it within myself to forgive him even though he hasnt actually apologised for hurting me so much.
The word accident literally means "without intent." even in the example you gave your husband, the intent wasn't to hit the car in front of them....therefore accident.
I don't really know your intelligence level based on this question. The fact that he tells you you're smart is odd though. It almost sounds like he was placating you and got tired of it.
Either way he's your husband...you're stuck with him...get over it.
Abbeyroad is right it means an unintentional act. Lots of things happen without intent. Knocking over a glass of milk, tripping on something, losing something. Sure you can argue cause....but you CAN'T argue intent....unless you're stupid. Which is probably where the husband was coming from.
Then claim it was "an accident"
I mean if he wished to put his view forward, he could have done so in a mature manner whilst being polite.
Let him know he's hurt you and if he doesn't give a crap, leave. You deserve someone who cares and won't call you a name just because you express your own view, which you have every right to do.
Btw, I agree with you, it's not really an accident if they were at fault, intent or no intent.
I have a cousin of mine who was an "accident" child. They didn't plan on him but he happened anyways. He doesn't know and he's probably too young to understand... but if he finds out he'd probably be pretty pissed off.
But yeah, accident probably meant a lot more to him than it does to you. He may have done something accidently that has scarred him which made him react harshly. Yes, it is normal for you to be hurt by this comment as he's never said anything like this to hurt you before - but I'm sorry, I simply don't blame him to.
Is your thinking normal. Yes. I just think you were not able to articulate what you were trying to say very well. There are "accidents" all the time, we can all look up the definition. I think you were trying to say that people need to take more responsibility for their actions. You were questionning the legitimacy of calling something an accident (even if there was a lack of intent for the intended outcome) when there were things the person could have done or could have stopped doing to prevent it. I think you were talking more about liability. Another example of an "accident" - unplanned pregnancy.
However, this isn't really the issue. You need to explain to him how his words made you feel.