Is it normal to dislike your wife?

49% Normal

28 Comments

I'm assuming you've talked with her about it. Asking is one thing, but telling her how you feel is another. Maybe she is going through depression.

The easiest thing to do is to run for the hills and pay child support. Just, don't forget the child support.

And make sure she doesn't eat any of them.

It sounds like you've lost this battle no matter what you decide on one hand you have an unhappy marriage on the other hand you have a divorce and all the crap that comes with it.

I would sit down and talk with your wife explain how you feel about things because the things getting you down don't seem that hard to fix.

However should that not work long term moving on seems to be the best bet to many people try to stay together for the kids and by doing this all they do is create a really uncomfortable environment for there kids to grow up in.

Long term (providing you spend time with your kids after you break up) I'm sure when they are old enough they will understand the situation and why you decided to move on, I would if it where my parents.

One thing I would do if you choose to move on is make more time for your kids than you already do now that way they wont feel like there loosing out, this and remember its not about buying there love with gifts and cash its about spending time with them.

Ditch the fat bitch!

Totally normal unfortunately.

you got to get out of that situation its not good for you

It's normal to have diffrences, but not to your extreme, although it seens saveable. Try a marriage counsler.

dont listen to this guy sounds like he is really a geek...Get out of there man i wouldnt listen to some moron name geekmaster...

My Wife is so nasty toward me; always miserable. She is always yelling at everyone in the home. She hates my puppy dog she cosigned on. She has a short fuse with my kids. Never considers others until the very last minute and then a scramble will unfold to patch things together... Obviously we are important enough here. She is always starting a new hobby or career and never sees a single one through completion; which means she basically bags on the family while pursuing her latest dead end time consuming act of selfishness %u2013 how about enrolling the kids in something without me. She sleeps a ton. She is always late for everything. Doesn't clean up after herself around the house; you know the deal, opens a microwavable meal and leaves the box on the counter which leads to snowball of crap/clutter. She doesn't take care of appearance. She doesn't dress nicely. She doesn't exercise. She has a new self prescribed illness weekly. Instead of spending money to look nice she spends it on take out/fast food. She likes to put me down in front of family and friends while sensationalizing stories; basically she puts my shit out on the street from her fantasy perspective. She doesn't know what pleasant is our how to fake it. She's confrontational and always has to get the last 3 paragraphs in before ending an argument she usually starts; she will become physical and mentally abusive if I don't listen. Waiting to discuss what's on her mind until later is not an option regardless if the young toddler/pre-k kids are in the room. I've come to find we are on completely different intellectual levels without similar interest. She gives the kids whatever they want so they won't bother her lazy self. Now they are difficult to manage and show signs of emotional issues due to mom acting out. Just looking at her make me sick. We don't sleep together. Sex occurs bi-monthly. Things would be so much better if she left, I have asked her to go, but she refuses!!! Am I a saint %u2013 no! Just tired and worried that I will do to my kids what my parents did to me if I try and leave to pursue happiness. Not sure I know what that is anymore. I just know I am happier and a nicer person when she's not around breaking me down physically and mentally.

My friend i wish u well.Leave her its not worth it.All these other people are full of crap,I know what its like there is no answer but to leave just try not to abandon the kids..

I cant believe the amount of people on here telling you to leave your partner of 10 years.

Now i would agree with them if this was a persoanl attack by her, but you said it in your message that she is unpleasent to everyone, which should make anyone realise it isnt a personal attack.

Was she always like this?, or is it something new within the past 2 years or so..

Alot of people still dont know this but simple things can cause drastic mood changes. to much suger/caffine (as in coke) can make people really nasty. to much chocolate makes people lathargic which in turns makes them a little self loathing..

Best thing to do is sit down with your missus and tell her you think shes becomming a little agressive and you think you both need a lifestyle change, ditch takeaways and junk food for about a month and see if that changes her attitude. most of the time it will..

If she is unwilling to change her diet you can do it sneekily, like when she ask's for a coke bring her a smoothie and say "hey love i just made this for myself, why dont you try one its amazing"...


Hope this helps buddy..

You want my HONEST opinion? She sounds like she has Borderline Personality Disorder (my wife has it and your story describes her pretty well). Differences are my wife is VERY attractive, beautiful, does her make-up and hair and takes care of our daughter and lately has become WAY less-lazy around the house. Google Borderline Personality Disorder and tell me if that doesn't describe her, and then try to bring it up to her in some fashion so she might get on medication for it. Also if this does describe her to a "T" get a book called "Walking on Eggshells". It's a book written for people in relationships to help them deal with BPD significant others/family members. Hope this helps and if you have any questions let me know :)

I would be more worried if you DID like her.

i wonder if your wife is depressed?

Hey man, I'm a doctor and I see lots of people like your wife. You are describing textbook ADHD. I have it myself. Trust me, chances are she doesn't want to offend you. Check out the book, "Delivered from Distraction" by Edward Hallowell, M.D. It's a great resource that I recommend to my patients. If she's anything like me, you may want to get the audiobook. Just get the one narrated by the author. This next book helped me out a lot also.

http://www.amazon.com/What-Does-Everybody-Else-Know/dp/1886941343

Please be compassionate though.

Dude I'm sorry you feel that way, but Marriage is War. The last thing you wanna do is give up and run. let her know that you care for her, stick by her and always be sure that anything you say to her comes (or at least sounds like it) from a place of love.

Don't think that it's her job to make you happy only you can do that and anyone that tells you otherwise is lying or just plain wrong.

If she point blank refuses to change its quite simple, maybe she's happy the way she is and if that is the case what right have you to stop her. Perhaps you need to look at yourself

Keep your chin up my friend.

Half end in divorce, half are silent failures, and the other half are highly successful.

You should tell her exactly how you are feeling. If she puts no effort to make your marriage work, so you can still be with your kids and have a happy marriage, then you should get a divorce. It may be very depressing for your children at first, but be their for them every time they need you and continue to be an important part of their lives. Besides you have only one life, and why should you be miserable for the rest of it.

ok i love my husband but i do everything for this man i work i clean before work after i get home from work an before i go to bed i cook all his meals even make his lunch for work everyday i lay out his work clothes as well as his towel and bed clothes he never takes me anywhere and bitches more than any woman on this earth hes a I I Me Me person he never cleans after himself never takes out the trash an he always says hes too tired for sex i'm not fat i'm 105lbs and i make sure I look good everyday what gets to me is if i have a headache or just plain tire an forget to lay out his clothes or what have you he will yell an scream an put me down i know people are thinking what the heck is this woman doing staying with thi man well i couldn't tell you all I know is if anyone is in the same situation with or without kids please don't turn out like me truely a waste of life

Unfortunately it is normal in most cases to not like your spouse. I have been in the exact same situation as you...and I can tell you that your wife resents you. She resents your health, your work ethic and everything you do that is positive around the house or in the relationship. This resentment is what makes her be the opposite of you... Its a hard thing to live with I know, but the only thing I can suggest is that you focus your thoughts on other things. I would also be willing to bet that she has or is going to make the kids be more like her and less like you as well. Truth is she hates you just as much or if not more than you hate her, only as a woman she can never just come out and say it, because it will reveal her jealousy of you. The sex thing is also sadly a normal thing, and it really makes me laugh when I see Viagra commercials and read magazines that talk about how a man can turn on his woman. As if its men who are lacking emotion and sex drives. This is a true womans nature to not except responsibility and put everything off on men. Fact is that by a very wide margin men want, enjoy and perform well in sex and have a healthy sexual desire. Its the women who are lacking in almost every way, that is once you marry them. I would also suggest that you start squirreling some cash away and prepare to leave when the time is right. Make this work for your advantage. Keep doing the things you do, try not to get upset or end the marriage too early. It is worth it in every way shape and form to stay married until the kids become 18. Keep yourself in good shape both mentally and physically, and when you are ready just leave without looking back.

Yes. Wonderful. Lets pull out the 'textbook' on the non-existent catch-all disease for disciplinary problems. Good move doc.
duckfart77

Stay together for the kids. But I think she needs to change. Maybe you should talk to her?

Then again, don't listen to me, I'm too young to even get married XD!

I can relate to what you are saying I've been married three years and my wife and I don't really have the same interested but you have to find the good in every situation. Communicate how what she does makes you feel, and maybe get some good marital counseling. She sounds depressed maybe you two could talk to her doctor about temporarily putting on her on some meds. Be encouraging though.

try seeing a marriage councilor. if she wont go with you, go alone. she might be clinically depressed and you two can work it out.

Do you even care about her? I don't get that impression. Little compassion. You dump on & judge her but are not concerned, except about your self. Something to think about: is she sad about living with a selfish man?

you guys need to revive ur marraige. sit down and have an actual heart to heart with her. its not hard to care about someone again if you really want to. everyone gets in like a slump area but you both have to realy want to get out of it without getting defensive

it's not fair for her to act like this. it sounds like she is taking advantage of you. just because you're married doesn't mean she should get comfortable and stop trying. i don't think it's normal.

omigod dude

I'm totally cool with stuff like weido-fetishes and party-drugs but when it comes to animal torture it just crosses the line
sick sick sick DAMN FUCKING SICK MAN!!!!