Most of my friends and I are in our late twenties and have kids except for me. I've distanced myself from most of them on the guise of not liking kids. Really I don't like the idea that these people have kids at all. I can't stand watching any pregnant woman eat fast food on a regular basis or smoke which is something most of them tend to do. Then when the babies are born and grow up a bit their Mothers complain that their asthmatic kids only want to eat fast food, yeah hello it's because it's basically what they're made of. They only think they're great parents because their kids aren't hungry but if they really cared they'd step up.
I can't say anything either, I'll just the spiel on how I can't know and that I'll find out when I have my own kids. I can bring up any article, scientific study, etc. and even show it to them but they all just see it as me being ignorant. They'll say something like, "If you made as much money as you do now you'd feed your kids this stuff too!""Yeah, which is why you don't see me having kids right now and if I did I'd figure it out instead of throwing up my hands."
Many of them work shitty jobs that make it so they can barely afford to buy groceries yet still keep having kids or adopting pets. Their friends and family can see how badly they're doing but all seem to forget as soon as anyone says the word, "baby". Then it's all happiness until the baby starts to resemble a human being later on and they become a chore. I don't understand how anyone could be happy for them knowing that the kids they already have are going to be stuck suffering from their parent's bad choices, sometimes even having to take care of their siblings while Mom goes out which in my opinion is never OK.
Even my friends that are on their first kids only seem to be having them because they want a baby to dress in cute outfits, not something they will need to raise. I'm 28 now and want to have kids very badly but if I were to get pregnant right now I'd sprint to the nearest abortion clinic because of the kind of life that would be waiting for them; It would be selfish of me to only see my child as a motivational tool. I'm going to get ready to have kids, not just financially, but in every way. I just wish I knew someone that would do the same, to me that is truly a great parent.
I can't say anything either, I'll just the spiel on how I can't know and that I'll find out when I have my own kids. I can bring up any article, scientific study, etc. and even show it to them but they all just see it as me being ignorant. They'll say something like, "If you made as much money as you do now you'd feed your kids this stuff too!""Yeah, which is why you don't see me having kids right now and if I did I'd figure it out instead of throwing up my hands."
Many of them work shitty jobs that make it so they can barely afford to buy groceries yet still keep having kids or adopting pets. Their friends and family can see how badly they're doing but all seem to forget as soon as anyone says the word, "baby". Then it's all happiness until the baby starts to resemble a human being later on and they become a chore. I don't understand how anyone could be happy for them knowing that the kids they already have are going to be stuck suffering from their parent's bad choices, sometimes even having to take care of their siblings while Mom goes out which in my opinion is never OK.
Even my friends that are on their first kids only seem to be having them because they want a baby to dress in cute outfits, not something they will need to raise. I'm 28 now and want to have kids very badly but if I were to get pregnant right now I'd sprint to the nearest abortion clinic because of the kind of life that would be waiting for them; It would be selfish of me to only see my child as a motivational tool. I'm going to get ready to have kids, not just financially, but in every way. I just wish I knew someone that would do the same, to me that is truly a great parent.
I have friends that have gotten pregnant because "I didn't feel like using a condom" (Plan B is a myth), because the pill is a myth, because they were too drunk to remember the condom... one who did it to "feel like an adult" and the other who did it because all of her friends were getting attention...
To watch they drink, do drugs and smoke while pregnant just angered me. Their friends would defend them with cheap excuses like "she's depressed" or "I did this or that while pregnant and the baby turned out fine" well autistic, asthmatic and mentally retarded is NOT fine. They celebrate when the baby comes out in one piece but sometimes the damage takes years to finally show itself.
It's uncanny the way you say it... once the word "baby" is mentioned, they're excited but once the baby comes along they're a burden. It's true. I don't know why but it's true. It's upsetting to watch my friends act like their kids are just some money pit and mouth to feed, doing the bare minimum to be called a parent. I watch it and I hope I'd never end up like that if I became a parent, where I consider "parenting" to be naught but putting some cheap food in their mouths, putting some clothes on their backs, a roof over their heads and the occasional visit to the doctor for their asthma meds and shrink for their latest diagnosis.
I hope I never become that parent, the one that shoves sugary snacks down my kids' throat and wonders why they can't sit still in class, keeps them in the house all day and never spends time with them, only talks to them when I want them to do something and wondering why they don't respect me or respond well, socially... Maybe there's some chemical that's released that will turn me from who I am now to someone who doesn't give a fuck when I have kids, maybe I'll get worn out and give up. For fuck's sake, I hope I don't end up like them.
To be honest, it seems a little unnatural to me to start having kids when you're 30. I think at 28 you should be able to step up and be a good parent without getting an abortion and waiting until the time is right. You'd probably do much better than me, who had a baby at 20. If I had took more precautions, I would be playing that waiting game too, but i'm happy the way things worked out. I had her young enough to be able to remember what its like to be a kid and i think that had made me a pretty good parent (though i have my flaws).
And yes its normal to judge your friends who have kids. I still cannot fathom how an old friend of mine gave her kid away to her sorry baby's daddy's mom without a second thought. But remember, you are judging them, which isn't very good.
I think you'll be better prepared than most by the sound of it because you've had the opportunity to observe others' mistakes and learn what not to do. You will make a good parent. If you know for sure that you DO want to have kids though, be sure not to wait until it's too late.
see what i did there? i raged...dont see that from me very often.
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*hides pizza*
holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit.
*sprints to elevator*
im gonna deliver this fucking pizza!
Those types are details are not petty, they're the reason so many people these days are suffering from chronic health problems, learning disorders, emotional deficiencies, and things that will show up when the child is an adult. You know, an adult? The things babies grow into!? Are you going to take responsibility for those types of problems you ultimately caused or are you going to shrug it off because "all parents make mistakes"!
Your not living in the fucking dark ages, you're online, with access to information from all over the world. Anyone can know exactly where to find the best food, education, parenting techniques, and whatever else and instead they're not. Instead they're making excuses so they don't have to change, even if it's for the benefit of their own children that they claim to love so much.