Is it normal to have conflicting feelings about going home?

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Yeah man, I know what you mean.
I was in rehab for about 11 months, and near the end of it I had ill feelings about going home.
But when you realize that you are going to have to eventually you end up doing it and it may take a little while to get used to things again, but it happens.

yes he is right.

why dont you try being the one that makes the decision to leave. When its your decision its more respected by you, and not so irritating.

what is the positive side of all this?
you are alive, have some bank, and realized that you are totally independent when you need to be.

those a great things to achieve for yourself.
Youll be back soo enough if you want.

ask yourself, when is it long enough to be gone?

how long is long enough?

what do i enjoy about my current environment?

can I compromise and take some situations from my current environment back home?

like your routine, your alone time, etc

you can take it with you. you don't have to be emersed in society all at once, you can be in germany in a house and it can be like you want it to feel your in control always.

yes i can relate.

If you read "Im Westen nichts Neues", you'll find a war full of people who can relate to that. I don't think it'll bring you much solace, though. I'm really sorry you're in this situation. Good luck.

Probably one of the most normal feelings on this site, especially if you've been living by a strict schedule for a while. When you live for several months or years with the unfailing knowledge of what you're doing next or tomorrow or in a week, diving back into an unscheduled life can be hard. The uncertainty that's supposed to feel like freedom can just seem daunting. This doesn't mean you don't love & miss all of your friends and family, it just means that once again you're venturing into unknown territory; except this time, it's not SUPPOSED to be unknown, which can make it even harder.

I know I haven't really suggested anything to help with this conflict and I'm sorry about that. Good luck, and you're not alone.

"whatshesaid" took the words straight out of my mouth, I too was in the forces for. 4 years and had exactly the same doubts and concerns that you have, it was a very daunting prospect with all things and routines "burnt" into my head,but within days of coming home I was completely happy, take care you'll get there.
Joe