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Is it normal to not feel anything when a close one dies?
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TL;DR - I care about people and animals (am not a psychopath at all), but feel absolutely nothing when a close one dies.

***OFF TOPIC: Sorry about the super massive text; I'm on adderall right now (it's prescribed, stop freaking out), so I couldn't help myself.***

Okay, so a few days ago my uncle (mom's brother), who had been a constant part of my life basically since I was born (I am now 17), passed away. When I got home in the day he died my mom was sitting with my baby sister (almost 3 years old) with her eyes and face all red like she'd been crying for hours and had just stopped. Initially, when I saw her like that, I felt worried (though not overwhelmingly so); then she asked me to sit down with her because she needed to tell me something. She explained everything about the accident (he crashed his bike into a log that fell out of a truck in a highway) in the most careful way possible, as if to not shock me. Then she broke into tears again and hugged me for at least a couple of minutes.

Now onto my feelings during this whole thing: when she first told me my uncle had died, I felt what unfortunately can be best explained as a feeling very similar to that of opening a fortune cookie. Something like "huh... so that's why", and then it was back to feeling "nothing", since the initial worry/curiosity was gone. Then, as she continued to tell me and get more and more emotional with each word she was saying, I just felt awkward and could barely even pay attention to what she was saying because I was more worried about figuring out how I should "react" (or, to be more accurate, pretend to react). I think the whole time I just had an awkward "diarrhea face" (frowned brows, gaping mouth and slightly raised upper lip) and limited my reactions to some "neutral" interjections, so I wouldn't seem cold but also not being even more awkward by "overreacting".

Anyway, basically I spent the rest of the day (and week) thinking about what was going to happen next and trying my best to be prepared to act naturally. Stuff like "should I go to my room and pretend to be grieving in private or would that seem insensible?", "if I do go to my room, should I play video games and pretend like I was trying to distract myself or would that come out as extremely rude and inconsiderate?", "when I meet with the rest of the family, should I be extra personal and 'touchy', or just have a sad face the whole time and greet everyone with a discreet hand shake/hug (with the closest ones)", "should I give my condolences or am I considered to be within the group receiving the condolences, in which case giving my own would be saying I don't really feel affected by his death" etc etc etc.

By now, anyone who's reading this is probably thinking I'm either a heartless bastard or an "emo" kid trying to seem cold or whatever; but I'm neither. As a few examples I can say that I am, by far, the most sensible person I know when it comes to any animal; absolutely everyone says I'm way too concerned about my dog whenever we take him anywhere that's not familiar (I keep close to him all the time and police everything and everyone he comes close to, because I just can't bare the thought of him getting hurt). Also, whenever there was a party/barbecue/get-together in my house when I was younger, and especially when there were drunk jerks doing something that could harm my dog in any way, I would often take him to my room and lock us inside until everyone left; and if anyone ever hurt him I'd get so utterly sad and furious and anguished I'd just run to my room and cry desperately for hours.

Again, these are just a few examples, but no, I'm also not one of those lunatic, "hardcore" vegans/animal rights activists, who only cares about animals and doesn't give a shit about people. I also get pretty concerned whenever someone close to me gets sick or hurt in any serious way. For example, when my baby sister got hospitalized for about a week because of an asthma crisis, I spent almost the whole period in a state of extreme anxiety (I already have an anxiety disorder, it just got worse), and even had a couple panic attacks.

So, in short (if I can even say that after this wall of text), I do care about people -- and even more for animals and babies (like any healthy human being) --, but whenever someone close to me dies (besides my uncle it also happened with my grandma and a classmate a few years ago), I don't feel anything. It's like I read about some random guy on the other side of the world dying of old age. When you see some random person's death in the news you don't stop your life and reflect about that one human life that is now gone forever; I too am like that, but with all deaths.
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Comments (2)
You sound like a complete moron. You don't care if someone dies, but you care if they get "sick or hurt" you're "sensible" but you are way too concerned about the dog's wellbeing?

Another over medicated millennial that will have a horrible time adjusting to what the real world is. Stop taking whatever that medication is.
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I guess I didn't make myself very clear on that. It's not that I don't care when someone dies. I don't run around thinking "I'm glad that fucker died" or anything like that. I do miss the people close to me when they die and I do feel bad about their deaths and that I'll never be able to see them again and all that; but only on a "rational" level. I don't have that same strong emotional response of overwhelming sadness that I would have, for example, if instead of hearing about a certain person's death, I actually saw them on a medical bed too sick to get up or anything along those lines.

I guess you could say it's like my brain is incapable of interpreting the information that someone is dead unless I see them die or something. I don't know, it's not exactly like that but whatever, I hope you at least get my point here, but if not there's not much else I can do.

PS: Also, am I misinterpreting your comment or do you think that being "way too concerned about the dog's well-being" contradicts me being sensitive? Personally (and I think nearly any sane person would agree with me), I think it's the exact opposite. I empathize with people just as with animals. So, the same way you (and I) would be extremely protective of a human baby, because it's completely innocent and defenseless, anyone with genuine empathy would feel the same for any animal, since they're also completely innocent and defenseless. And especially a pet, since he's "trusting" you to take care of him. So that's why when someone hurts my dog (or any pet) I get so crushingly sad. It's like someone went into your home, lured your baby child with a candy, and when the kid went for the candy (think of being pet or playing, in the dog's case), that person, instead, hurts them. It's too messed up.
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