Whenever I feel like I want something or someone or whatever, I inmediately convince myself it's never gonna happen. I tell myself I don't deserve to have anything nice or to have fun or to be loved. I struggle with these feelings constantly but I usually just end up hating myself for it. I never try anything anymore because I fear my subconscious will be right and I'll just be dissappointed. Why can't I just let myself take risks and be happy?