In that case, tell him, but don't force him to have to pay for the child or be a father figure. If he wants to, he will. If he doesn't want to, you should respect that decision due to him doing his part to make sure you don't get pregnant, while you didn't, and so you were the main cause of it happening when he was taking the only protection offered to men was that you didn't use any form of birth control.
The kid is both parents' responsibility. I don't know why you're trying to guilt her into thinking this is her fault. They used a condom! A child's future shouldn't be determined by a blame game. The kid deserves to have a father in his life.
Also, about your profile: what's the point of smearing blood over your mouth like that? Is it a desperate cry for attention, or are you just the kind of guy who loves his gf every day of the month?
No, "he" done all he could to protect her from becoming pregnant, and she done nothing to protect "her own" body from pregnancy. Because "you" done nothing to protect your body, the pregnancy happened. Once again, a man does all he can to protect himself from being trapped in to parental responsibility, yet the woman done nothing to protect herself, yet he has to suffer from "her" not making sure "she" doesn't get pregnant. It "is" her fault this happened. If "she" used forms of brith control like "he" did, then the pregnancy wouldn't of happened. So you're telling me it is not her fault that "she" did not think to use protection she could use unstead of relying on "him" protecting "her" from pregnancy? Pathetic. Once again, men have to look after women's bodies because they can't take responsibility. And so the man's future can be changed completely in to a father role, in which he didn't want happeneing, because "she" couldn't use protection and relies on men using protection? The woman doesn't use birth control methods, the man does, the only method of birth control he can use, yet he has to take the responsibility because "she" "chose" not to use any form of birth control herself? Yeah, fuck what men want, fuck if they used birth control methods and the reason the pregnancy happened was because the woman didn't use protection for her "Own" body, fuck his choice in the matter, right? If that is the case, and she needs the child to have a father, then she can either find a new partner to father the child if he's willing, or give the child up for adoption to a more stable family.
Also, the picture is just a picture. A lot of genre of people do that type of pictures, and if you're trying to say that they all do it for "cries of attention", then that's your choice to be ignorant.
P.s, don't assume to know why I would post pictures or do anything, you lack the knowledge of me to know anything about why I would post things.
I am not telling people to click on my profile, so if I was looking for attention, I would of directed you to it. You went there with no reason other than your own choice, so where in your rational thinking can you can say I am just in a "desperate cry for attention"?
I don't expect a reply back from you, but if you do, expect one like this showing you wrong.
Actually, my friend gave me the condom. I had it in my pants pocket on the ground. As he picked up my pants and took it out to put it on he said "I usually don't use these, but since you brought it in here". But thanks. I really didn't ask for a lesson on responsibility. I asked for ideas on how to let people know what happened. Being more responsible now, and seeing a doctor about birth control isn't going to change the fact that in about 8 months I'm bringing a child into this world. Thanks for your absolutely unneeded input, I'm sure it didn't help at all.
You're not a bad person for not being on BPC's, you still used protection. Is there some rule written down somewhere that says you're irresponsible for not using multiple forms? No, it's just a reccomendation to be extra safe, but putting foreign chemicals in your body is a personal fucking decision.
Don't worry, I respect that, shade_ilmaendu respects that, and I bet that a lot of other people do too. :) Don't let Crazy mcBloodface upset you too much. I think he's trolling. Hell, I hope he's trolling. If he means all the shit he says, then... wow. Just wow.
Lol his opinion really doesn't effect me. He's just some loner hiding behind his computer trying to make a point that doesn't make any sense to anyone but himself. Personally, I feel bad for him.
Yeah, but I think it's scary that this is a real person talking. He really needs help about his mental state, but he just fails to notice. Let's hope he's only hurting himself, and not the ones around him.
I think you've handled the situation responsibly. I have no experience with situations like this, so my advice on this would probably be pretty worthless. All I can do is wish you lots of courage for the months to come. If you're going to be a mom, then be the most kickass mom you can be. :)
Ugh. You have "Your" personal reasons for it, but fuck if "Your" personal reasons are besides the man's plans for his future, right? The downfall of what he planned for his life comes "AFTER" the decidion for "you" to take "resposnibility" for "your" body.
Okay, I never said he has to take any responsibility. I want to tell him, so he has a choice whether he wants to be in his child's life or not. BUT, I'm just so irresponsible and demanding and I'm ruining everyone's lives. LOL.
Have you said he should take responsibility? If yes - He should have choice due to using the only protection he could. If no - Then you are taking responsibility without forcing responsibility on the person that was responsible.
You want to inform him without focing him to be a parent? If yes - Good, I apologize for misunderstanding and I was wrong for going on without understanding what you were saying. If no (as in you want to force him) - Then you are wrong since "you" were the one not to use any method of birth control, and the responsible one has to suffer for you being irresponsible.
Your entire rant really has nothing to do with my question in the first place. I asked how to tell him. I said nothing about where it will go from there, or how I expect anyone including him to act. And honestly, it's really none of your concern.
What? "It's my personal reasons for not using forms of birth control, he has to do that"...Then when the "one" method he can use is something that is not 100% fullproof, then it is both of their responsibilities for her not doing her part to use a form of birth contorl.
My fucking God. Why on God's Earth should men see women as equal when they expect men to take most responsibility for birth control here?
Besides the pill, there are other methods of birth control for women, more than ones for men.
- Female condom: quite impractical and less secure than male ones. - Diaphragm: Impractical and not that secure. Does not protect you from STD's - Intrauterine device: can be very uncomfortable (which isn't unsurprising), and may damage your uterus. No protection from STD's. - Birth control: variety of side effects. Most women don't get too much discomfort from it. For others, the side effects are intolerable. In the latter case, it is advised not to take it.
It's also false to assume that men take the most responsibility for birth control. Take this case for example. The OP is the one who supplied the condom.
Male method - Condom. Condoms are less comfortable to use than without one. They can burst, tear, and they can also catch STDs in those situations.
Once again, you're basically saying "these methods of brith control are not 100% perfect, so men should use their forms of birth control that are not 100% perfect so we don't have to". He wears a condom, she wears a femidom. He wears a condom, and she uses a diaphragm, and so on. I am not saying only one uses birth control, I am saying "both" should use them, and so far you are only giving me excuses for women not to have to use them, even when those reasons can be used for not wearing a condom, although if I used the exact same excuses, to you, nah, that isn't the same, right?
Yeah, that is true. Do you also know that some women are allergic to condoms? Again, it is "very unlikely" for a woman to have health risks from every single form of birth control, and in no way do even half the women have this problem.
I won't take that as an example, because she did not supply it. She clearly stated that she left it in her trousers and that while he was looking in her trousers "he" found it and "he" chose to use it. "he" took responsibility without her asking him to wear it.
You can't combine condoms and female condoms. Have you paid any attention in sex ed?
Hell, even if you never had sex ed: do you know how friction works?
I never said that it was 'very unlikely' for a woman to have bad side effects. All women have side effects from the pill. Most women don't get any severe ones. But some women get side effects that are intolerable. It's kind of a taboo, but way more women are affected by it than you might think.
I know that some women are allergic to the lube they put on condoms, yes. There are condoms allergic people can use as well. Look, if you get your kicks out of being a small-minded prick, go ahead. I've got better things to do than listen to you repeat the same argument that's been debunked a long time ago.
Goodnight.
ps. Think about what I said. Get a check-up at least. When you're suffering from a mental condition, it's very hard to notice it yourself. You need a professional to analyze you.
The pill. Unless there is medical reasons not to, there is no reason not to. I am not willing to look up if there are ways to use condoms and other methods of birth control at the moment, but I'm sure there is.
No, not all women are effected by it, and if that's the case, and only one method is able to, why should the man wear a condom and she doesn't use any other method?
Again, in your opinion I'm small minded, and why? Because I am holding women to the same responsibility. You typically are trying to find excuses from women not using birth control, and indirectly making excuses for men to always use them.
What? Debunked? Are you kidding me? What have you debunked here? This is something a lot of female users have got going on here. They think simply saying "I'm right" makes them right, it's pathetic. Could you imagine a group that does that in positions of power in society?
Ugh. So if you don't admit you could be crazy, then don't get checked up, then you have a high risk of being mentally unstable? Or is that just acustomed to me since, as I stated before, you dissagree with me.
ItDuz, let me ignore your condescending insults for a second and give you some much-needed advice. I'm only saying this because you're a person, and I care about all people.
Get mental help. Seriously. You'd do me a great favor if you'd undergo at least a psychoanalysis. People don't call you crazy to insult you, it's because they're really worried about your mental health. So please, get help. Before you hurt yourself any further, or the ones around you.
Self-harm is a serious issue, and it isn't going to get better without professional guidance.
No. Are you kidding me? Expecting a woman to use forms of birth control aswell is something that indicates to you to get medical help? 'This' is the main reason why I have such opinions, because if a man dares to tell a woman she should of taken just as much precautions for birth control, then an unwanted or expected pregnancy wouldn't of happened, and 'that' is the reason why I need medical help?
No, people don't call me crazy to insult me, they do it to say "I'm right, even though you proved my points wrong, you need help, therfor I am right".
If having common sense and rational, and deductive reasoning is something in need of profesional help, then maybe. But if you're trying to sit there and say I'm wrong for expecting a woman to make sure "Her" body doesn't become pregnant, then you're just so unbarable.
This is why how I take women seriously is going further down, because they argue against and call people "crazy" for expecting women to take more, or just as much responsibility for "their" bodies.
But fuck that, I'm just yee old coot, sitting here saying women should use birth control methods as much as men, even more so due to them having more methods of it. Tell stories to your kids about me around the campfire. Oooooo, evil that ItDuz was. He would log on to a website and tell women to...-Shine torch on face from bellow pointing upwards- that they should take just as much responsibility or even more to look after their body to protect themselves from pregnancy. And then! He would expect women to have more responsibility for...theeeeir boooooooooddddieeeeeeees - WOOOOOOOOOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOOOOOO.
If I am getting unstable (I believe I'm not), it's because this community refuses to make women take half the responsibility for things that they should be looking after more than anyone else.
But hey, have fun with that campfire story about that old coot Itduz, expecting people to atleast take equal responsibility for "their" bodies.
DOn't bother commenting on my mental state, because I have taken a well note that it is always people that dissagree with me that seem to think "I need help". Quite a coincidence, right? Grow up.
No, it's not about this argument. It's about self-harm. that's a serious issue, and you should get help for that. People don't just say you should get help because you disagree with them. It's because you actually show a lot of warning signs. You think you're not getting unstable, but don't you think it'd be safe to check? You obviously care a lot about safety, so it wouldn't be a dumb move to get psychoanalyzed.
Now, onto your arguments. When you're having sex with someone, the protection involved is both partners' responsibility. Plenty of women carry condoms around. Do you mean to say that when a woman gives a condom to her boyfriend, she's still irresponsible because condoms are a form of birth control only a male can use?
This community does not refuse women to take half the responsibility. She's responsible for her child, and so is the father.
Also, if you're a nineteen year old, and you've got such a primitive view of sex, then don't go around telling people to grow up.
What self harm? That I cut? I used to cut when I was about fifteen to early seventeens, I haven't cut since. I bed to differ. If that was the case, it wouldn't only be people that dissagree with me to say I need help. Do you think You're unstable? If someone thinks they're unstable, does that mean they are at more risk of being unstable? Ofcourse not. I have been checked at a very young age, and I had two therapists. One of which thought I should be a buddhist, believe it or not.
Exactly "both". Ofcourse it is avoiding responsibility. She is making "him" wear protection instead of taking measures of making sure she uses those forms of protection. Ofcourse, it isn't as irresponsible.
No, both aren't responsible. He used a method of birth contol by his choice, she didn't. "I done all I could, I used the one thing I could on my part to ensure my protection. She did not use any methods of protection. I done what I could to prevent this from happening, and if she done the same, this would never of happened. Somehow this is equally my fault and my responsibility because she didn't take equal responsibility to ensure it didn't happen".
That's basically what you're telling me? And you are saying I need help?
If I'm nineteen years old, and I'm saying that if one has done all they can to prevent something from happening, and the other person involved didn't, which if they did it would of prevented it from happening, that the one that has done what they can shouldn't become a victim of responsibility they used methods of protection to avoid, and that her not doing the same resulted in him having to take responsibility because she would't do her part in taking responsibility to make sure it doesn't happen, and I'm telling someone older than me that doesn't understand that to grow up, they indeed need to grow up.
Also, about your profile: what's the point of smearing blood over your mouth like that? Is it a desperate cry for attention, or are you just the kind of guy who loves his gf every day of the month?
It "is" her fault this happened. If "she" used forms of brith control like "he" did, then the pregnancy wouldn't of happened.
So you're telling me it is not her fault that "she" did not think to use protection she could use unstead of relying on "him" protecting "her" from pregnancy? Pathetic. Once again, men have to look after women's bodies because they can't take responsibility.
And so the man's future can be changed completely in to a father role, in which he didn't want happeneing, because "she" couldn't use protection and relies on men using protection? The woman doesn't use birth control methods, the man does, the only method of birth control he can use, yet he has to take the responsibility because "she" "chose" not to use any form of birth control herself? Yeah, fuck what men want, fuck if they used birth control methods and the reason the pregnancy happened was because the woman didn't use protection for her "Own" body, fuck his choice in the matter, right?
If that is the case, and she needs the child to have a father, then she can either find a new partner to father the child if he's willing, or give the child up for adoption to a more stable family.
Also, the picture is just a picture. A lot of genre of people do that type of pictures, and if you're trying to say that they all do it for "cries of attention", then that's your choice to be ignorant.
P.s, don't assume to know why I would post pictures or do anything, you lack the knowledge of me to know anything about why I would post things.
I am not telling people to click on my profile, so if I was looking for attention, I would of directed you to it. You went there with no reason other than your own choice, so where in your rational thinking can you can say I am just in a "desperate cry for attention"?
I don't expect a reply back from you, but if you do, expect one like this showing you wrong.
I have my own personal reasons not to take a pill every day. More people need to respect that.
Don't let Crazy mcBloodface upset you too much. I think he's trolling. Hell, I hope he's trolling. If he means all the shit he says, then... wow. Just wow.
I think you've handled the situation responsibly. I have no experience with situations like this, so my advice on this would probably be pretty worthless. All I can do is wish you lots of courage for the months to come. If you're going to be a mom, then be the most kickass mom you can be. :)
It really does mean a lot for people I don't even know to be so supportive, thanks for that... And I agree, he needs help!
If yes - He should have choice due to using the only protection he could.
If no - Then you are taking responsibility without forcing responsibility on the person that was responsible.
You want to inform him without focing him to be a parent?
If yes - Good, I apologize for misunderstanding and I was wrong for going on without understanding what you were saying.
If no (as in you want to force him) - Then you are wrong since "you" were the one not to use any method of birth control, and the responsible one has to suffer for you being irresponsible.
My fucking God. Why on God's Earth should men see women as equal when they expect men to take most responsibility for birth control here?
Besides the pill, there are other methods of birth control for women, more than ones for men.
- Female condom: quite impractical and less secure than male ones.
- Diaphragm: Impractical and not that secure. Does not protect you from STD's
- Intrauterine device: can be very uncomfortable (which isn't unsurprising), and may damage your uterus. No protection from STD's.
- Birth control: variety of side effects. Most women don't get too much discomfort from it. For others, the side effects are intolerable. In the latter case, it is advised not to take it.
It's also false to assume that men take the most responsibility for birth control. Take this case for example. The OP is the one who supplied the condom.
Once again, you're basically saying "these methods of brith control are not 100% perfect, so men should use their forms of birth control that are not 100% perfect so we don't have to".
He wears a condom, she wears a femidom. He wears a condom, and she uses a diaphragm, and so on. I am not saying only one uses birth control, I am saying "both" should use them, and so far you are only giving me excuses for women not to have to use them, even when those reasons can be used for not wearing a condom, although if I used the exact same excuses, to you, nah, that isn't the same, right?
Yeah, that is true. Do you also know that some women are allergic to condoms?
Again, it is "very unlikely" for a woman to have health risks from every single form of birth control, and in no way do even half the women have this problem.
I won't take that as an example, because she did not supply it. She clearly stated that she left it in her trousers and that while he was looking in her trousers "he" found it and "he" chose to use it. "he" took responsibility without her asking him to wear it.
Hell, even if you never had sex ed: do you know how friction works?
I never said that it was 'very unlikely' for a woman to have bad side effects. All women have side effects from the pill. Most women don't get any severe ones. But some women get side effects that are intolerable. It's kind of a taboo, but way more women are affected by it than you might think.
I know that some women are allergic to the lube they put on condoms, yes. There are condoms allergic people can use as well.
Look, if you get your kicks out of being a small-minded prick, go ahead. I've got better things to do than listen to you repeat the same argument that's been debunked a long time ago.
Goodnight.
ps. Think about what I said. Get a check-up at least. When you're suffering from a mental condition, it's very hard to notice it yourself. You need a professional to analyze you.
No, not all women are effected by it, and if that's the case, and only one method is able to, why should the man wear a condom and she doesn't use any other method?
Again, in your opinion I'm small minded, and why? Because I am holding women to the same responsibility. You typically are trying to find excuses from women not using birth control, and indirectly making excuses for men to always use them.
What? Debunked? Are you kidding me? What have you debunked here? This is something a lot of female users have got going on here. They think simply saying "I'm right" makes them right, it's pathetic. Could you imagine a group that does that in positions of power in society?
Ugh. So if you don't admit you could be crazy, then don't get checked up, then you have a high risk of being mentally unstable? Or is that just acustomed to me since, as I stated before, you dissagree with me.
Get mental help. Seriously. You'd do me a great favor if you'd undergo at least a psychoanalysis. People don't call you crazy to insult you, it's because they're really worried about your mental health. So please, get help. Before you hurt yourself any further, or the ones around you.
Self-harm is a serious issue, and it isn't going to get better without professional guidance.
Are you kidding me? Expecting a woman to use forms of birth control aswell is something that indicates to you to get medical help? 'This' is the main reason why I have such opinions, because if a man dares to tell a woman she should of taken just as much precautions for birth control, then an unwanted or expected pregnancy wouldn't of happened, and 'that' is the reason why I need medical help?
No, people don't call me crazy to insult me, they do it to say "I'm right, even though you proved my points wrong, you need help, therfor I am right".
If having common sense and rational, and deductive reasoning is something in need of profesional help, then maybe. But if you're trying to sit there and say I'm wrong for expecting a woman to make sure "Her" body doesn't become pregnant, then you're just so unbarable.
This is why how I take women seriously is going further down, because they argue against and call people "crazy" for expecting women to take more, or just as much responsibility for "their" bodies.
But fuck that, I'm just yee old coot, sitting here saying women should use birth control methods as much as men, even more so due to them having more methods of it.
Tell stories to your kids about me around the campfire. Oooooo, evil that ItDuz was. He would log on to a website and tell women to...-Shine torch on face from bellow pointing upwards- that they should take just as much responsibility or even more to look after their body to protect themselves from pregnancy. And then! He would expect women to have more responsibility for...theeeeir boooooooooddddieeeeeeees - WOOOOOOOOOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOOOOOO.
If I am getting unstable (I believe I'm not), it's because this community refuses to make women take half the responsibility for things that they should be looking after more than anyone else.
But hey, have fun with that campfire story about that old coot Itduz, expecting people to atleast take equal responsibility for "their" bodies.
DOn't bother commenting on my mental state, because I have taken a well note that it is always people that dissagree with me that seem to think "I need help". Quite a coincidence, right? Grow up.
Now, onto your arguments. When you're having sex with someone, the protection involved is both partners' responsibility. Plenty of women carry condoms around. Do you mean to say that when a woman gives a condom to her boyfriend, she's still irresponsible because condoms are a form of birth control only a male can use?
This community does not refuse women to take half the responsibility. She's responsible for her child, and so is the father.
Also, if you're a nineteen year old, and you've got such a primitive view of sex, then don't go around telling people to grow up.
I bed to differ. If that was the case, it wouldn't only be people that dissagree with me to say I need help.
Do you think You're unstable? If someone thinks they're unstable, does that mean they are at more risk of being unstable? Ofcourse not. I have been checked at a very young age, and I had two therapists. One of which thought I should be a buddhist, believe it or not.
Exactly "both". Ofcourse it is avoiding responsibility. She is making "him" wear protection instead of taking measures of making sure she uses those forms of protection. Ofcourse, it isn't as irresponsible.
No, both aren't responsible. He used a method of birth contol by his choice, she didn't.
"I done all I could, I used the one thing I could on my part to ensure my protection. She did not use any methods of protection. I done what I could to prevent this from happening, and if she done the same, this would never of happened. Somehow this is equally my fault and my responsibility because she didn't take equal responsibility to ensure it didn't happen".
That's basically what you're telling me? And you are saying I need help?
If I'm nineteen years old, and I'm saying that if one has done all they can to prevent something from happening, and the other person involved didn't, which if they did it would of prevented it from happening, that the one that has done what they can shouldn't become a victim of responsibility they used methods of protection to avoid, and that her not doing the same resulted in him having to take responsibility because she would't do her part in taking responsibility to make sure it doesn't happen, and I'm telling someone older than me that doesn't understand that to grow up, they indeed need to grow up.